New, and pregnant

[FurrMommy]

Hi All,

I found out I was pregnant yesterday, 7.5 weeks, and had the confirmation appt. this morning - ultrasound and all. (Due date Sept 5.) I'm 38, married for six years, and absolutely terrified and confused. My husband and I did not want, nor plan for, children. We're both kind of walking around like a deer caught in headlights right now.

I feel there is so much I don't know and so much I'm unprepared for. I'm not even sure how or if we should proceed. I hope this is a forum where I can speak honestly about this, but if not I can move on.

I'm just at a loss...

Has anyone gone through this situation?

[coltynsmom]

Having a child was the best thing I have ever done. It is challenging but highly rewarding. This being said, it is not for everyone and I appreciate those people who know in their hearts that they do not want children. If you and your husband decide not to have the child would you consider adoption? There are so many childless couples in the world that would appreciate and care for your baby.

Prayers to you and your family. And you can certainly talk honestly here.

[FurrMommy]

Thank you coltynsmom.

It's more than just not wanting to have children. I've had several health issues, four spinal fusions in my lower back, over the last four years. My surgeon continually questioned me on our pregnancy plans before the first surgery. I've made an appt. with him for tomorrow to discuss what will happen or what I can expect.

I just want my husband and I to be as fully informed as possible so that we make the right decision for us. Neither one of us are opposed, we have good jobs, a beautiful home, wonderful families, etc. but we're just not sure it's for us for so many reasons. There are also many hereditary issues to consider. It's a lot to think about and I feel like I don't know where to start.

Oh - and I had my first bout of morning sickness today in the Dr's office. Not fun, lol!

[RedOakMomma]

We've been through that situation, in a way.

Dh and I were unmarried, with no intention to marry, but had been together for 5+ years when I found out I was pregnant. I guess we had planned on having kids eventually, but certainly not until we'd accopmlished a lot of our important life goals. We were both so shocked and unhappy about it. THEN we found out it was twins!

Honestly, it took a lot of time to get over the shock and anger. Weeks and months, for sure. I mean yeah, every once in a while I'd be happy or excited about some part of the pregnancy or the thought of babies, but mostly I felt like my life had just been hijacked.

Give yourself some time. 40 weeks is a long, long time, and it gives you a lot of time to sort it out. Don't feel guilty about your emotions..they're normal and healthy. Finding people you can be honest with, who won't work a certain agenda, is really helpful. And being honest and open with your partner, while letting him know what you need and where you are emotionally with the pregnancy, is important too.

By the time their due dates came along, actually...by the time they started moving...it was a whole different story. Most of my anger and panic were over, and I started adjusting to a life (or the idea of a life) with kids.

Best of luck to you.

[thedenverduo]

Just wanted to add that you should definitely join the September 2010 Due Date Club! My DDC saved me from a lot of anxiety and it really helped to be able to just chat with other mamas going through the same things as me.

[MaerynPearl]

Originally Posted by thedenverduo

Just wanted to add that you should definitely join the September 2010 Due Date Club! My DDC saved me from a lot of anxiety and it really helped to be able to just chat with other mamas going through the same things as me.

we are more than happy to have you join us!

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...play.php?f=541