Tandem nursing problems during pregnancy

[luckysgirl]

I have two children - DS (almost 3.5 years) and DD (9.5 months) - and am currently due sometime in early September with my third child.

DD is eating some solids, mostly just fresh fruits and little bits of whatever we're eating, but is still mainly breastfed. DS still nurses for comfort or sometimes just because. He breastfed all the way throughout my previous pregnancy without any problems whatsoever, other than not being too fond of the colostrum right after birth.

This past weekend, however, he stopped. Just stopped. Then yesterday morning he nursed for twenty minutes without so much as asking for a matchbox car or wooden train to roll along my shoulders and down my arms.

Today? Nothing.

DD has changed nothing. She's not fussy at the breast, not demanding it more or less. That means its not my milk, right?

So, what I'm thinking here is "is he weaning?"

And more than that what I'm struggling with is this - do I want him to? The logistics of breastfeeding THREE children scares the crap out of me, but I don't want this part of our relationship to end, either.

I don't know what to do. This is uncharted ground for me. So, um . . . help?

[cdmommie]

I was, until last week, nursing my 9.5 month old and my 2.5 year old. And for us, it was just time to stop. I was tired, drained really. I got pregnant, TWICE, in the last 8 months and miscarried both times. I was just totally drained.

And to be honest, weaning Evelyn broke my heart for a couple days, but then we moved on. She likes to remind me that she is a "big girl" now when I nurse the baby. It was hard to let go of that part of our relationship, but I know now, since I'm on the other side, that nursing was not what made our relationship special. Nursing was just something we did sometimes and now we do other stuff. We snuggle, we play tea party together, we give "nosies" and butterfly kisses.... the list goes on.

What I am trying to say is, yes you will miss it and be sad at first but then you will just remember it with happiness. AND the energy you will regain is wonderful.... and since you're pregnant you will probably LOVE that part

Good luck mama, he's just growing up and you get to grow with him.

[mommy2two babes]

My oldest somewhat weaned during my last pregnancy.
She has nursed maybe 5 times in the 2 mos since DS2 was born.
I don't really know what to tell you other than to offer if you want to maintain a nursing relationship. My DD lost her latch this time around.

[fruitfulmomma]

It has been my experience that if you nurse a child through the next pregnancy and then tandem, they will begin the weaning process on their own during the third pregnancy. I've heard this from other moms of many too.

It is bittersweet to have that ending but your relationship will change and grow in other ways in the coming years. My oldest nursed until he was almost four and is now almost 10 and I realized the other day he had now been weaned longer than he nursed. Kind of an odd feeling.

[luckysgirl]

Thanks for the replies everyone.

This is my inner monologue right now: He's still a baby. He's still my baby.

I think the problem here is that I always assumed I would nurse for as long as possible. I guess I feel guilty about the pregnancy interrupting that. Don't get me wrong, I'm very excited about the new baby, and he is astoundingly great with his little sister, so I know it's just a step in creating the family we've always dreamed of. I'm just having a hard time accepting that eventually when he's scared or sick, I'm going to have one less tool to help him feel better.

[1babysmom]

Just wanted to offer hugs! I'm pregnant with #3, due in 6 weeks or so, and am nursing my 20 month old and almost 4 year old right now. I don't plan on weaning her, but I am a little fearful of my first nursing relationship with my first child coming to an end, too (just how I'll feel about it...I know it has to end at some point, but I just don't want to have any regrets or feel sad or miss it, ya know?). She doesn't show any signs of stopping for good anytime soon, but she is only nursing once every 1-3 days or so.

[SGDavis]

Im with ya LuckysGirl. Its one thing when they wean on their own and another when it is due to a pregnancy. I cried when we chose to get pregnant our 2nd time knowing that we were risking our son weaning while I was pregnant. But we wanted our children close together and I was 38. He didn't wean. He slowed down a lot but picked it back up and would nurse as much as his 15 mos old sister, he is 3, if he could.