Moms of sons - tell me what you love!

[MrsReady2bMama]

So I'm 32wks along with #2, and as with our first we've opted not to find out sex this time around. With our first, throughout my pregnancy everyone told me I was having a boy. In the back of my mind and heart I knew I wished for a girl, but I told everyone I thought it was a boy too, so I could get on board should a boy be born. Low and behold my DD shocked everyone by showing up female - and I felt like the luckiest mama alive to get my little girl!

This time around again everyone is telling me it's a boy, and it's 50% likely that it is of course. Weirdly, both DH and I kind of hope for a girl. I seem to have some kind of weird mental block on falling in love with a son. I think it is because everyone I know has little boys, and having spent a lot of time with them, I still have this strong preference for girls (again, probably b/c I already have one so of course I would prefer my own child, ya know?). Also, I'd just love for DD to have a sister since I had only brothers growing up.

I can come up with this terrible list of negatives about little boys which are gross generalizations and not even really true... (ex: Boys are much more hyper than girls, which I feel like will drive me nuts. Boys learn to speak slower than girls, which I think would be so frustrating after having a DD that has spoken very well from an early age. I won't continue, but there's a running list of stereotypes/myths/whatever that goes through my head regarding little boys.)

Logically, I know when babe is born I am going to fall in love. But, it couldn't hurt for some of y'all to post all the adorably lovely things about your sons so I can be excited in theory too!!

(And logically, I know that girls have their drawbacks too. I'm mama to one of the most high-strung little divas out there, but she's mine so I worship her. As I'm sure I would with a boy. See, this is why it's good for me not to find out the sex beforehand. Just meet the babe and fall in love either way!)

TIA

[RedOakMomma]

Originally Posted by MrsReady2bMama

I can come up with this terrible list of negatives about little boys which are gross generalizations and not even really true... (ex: Boys are much more hyper than girls, which I feel like will drive me nuts. Boys learn to speak slower than girls, which I think would be so frustrating after having a DD that has spoken very well from an early age. I won't continue, but there's a running list of stereotypes/myths/whatever that goes through my head regarding little boys.)

Well, I guess my darling son bucks those stereotypes. He's calm, he talks circles around his peers, and he's AWESOME

Seriously, I've had three boys and one daughter, and I'm pregnant again. I'm BEGGING for a son. So far my sons have been more cuddly, more calm, more able, more happy-go-lucky...just much more fun for me to raise. I'm NOT into the diva thing, and dd has it big-time.

When I was first pregnant I wanted daughters, because I grew up with only a sister. Now I see what a joy boys are, and I'm so thankful I didn't get my wish.

[MrsReady2bMama]

Thank you, thank you, thank you I already feel better!

You know what I think it is? I think it's all in my head. Like in Father of the Bride 2, when Steve Martin keeps seeing these nightmare children on the side of the road while his wife sees happy ones? I feel like I am always seeing crazy boys running through supermarkets or acting up at church while the girls sit quietly and read books or something.

I have heard that boys are cuddlier. That would certainly be a welcome change from DD when she was a squirmy infant

[ShadowMoon]

I only have one son, and he is a late speaker and hyper BUT:
---he is very loving and SUPER cuddly
---extremely patient and sweet
---he's a great, no, excellent non-verbal communicator
---sleeps wonderfully
---so. much. fun. to be around!

Congrats on the pregnancy! Boys are great but I totally understand your worries. I felt the same way about girls

[MaerynPearl]

My son
- is super sweet. He takes care of me now that I am pregnant because DF is not around to (yay military)
- is extremely smart. He actually has had less speech problems than most kids his age do and is one of the top students in his class. He is so awesome at reading too its just amazing to sit here and listen to him read me a chapter book when hes still in first grade.
- is very motivated. He knows what he wants to do when he grows up and is already working toward it! He wants to be a Marine and then work on cars so he hangs out with my dad when he is working on his car and he does workouts every day to get himself ready for the Marines lol. I have never before seen a 6 year old do a perfect pushup but after DF showed him how twice, he has done it perfect since.
- while energetic/active I would NOT call him hyper. He loves gymnastics, sports and exercise. But he also loves to sit down and play Guess Who with his baby sister or watch movies. He has never had a problem on our 6 hour car trips to/from Michigan.

It REALLY depends more on how YOU raise them than what their gender is. I know many little girls that fit the stereotype as perfectly as some little boys I know.

I thought it would be hard for me to bond with my son as well, I was a little heartbroken that he was a boy... I had so many brothers growing up and just wanted a girl SO bad... but once he was here I realized I may not be able to dress him up in dresses... but I can still dress him up in little suits and ties!

And he doesn't have to be as disgusting as other little boys I know. He knows its not polite to spit (on the ground or on people) or to talk about farts around girls.

[tri31]

My first born was a girl. It's normal to be more comfortable with what you know. I am pregnant with my third son and I have to admit I am relieved. My dd is my shining star, but it should be said that she is demanding and quick tempered. In comparison my boys are laid back empathetic and good listeners.
They are all precious, don't worry about a thing.

[FireWithin]

I have two boys and each time we thought and hoped we were having a girl.
My boys are absolutely the best and I feel blessed to have them. They love me with a passion. They have opened up a world of coolness to me. I think large trucks and trains are fun and I'm growing to love lego. I might not have experienced this stuff to this level with girls.
They are both so cuddly and my oldest is so sweet, sensitive and loves his doll that I made him.
I can relate and undestand them in a way I never thought I could.

[etsdtm99]

i had a girl and then a boy.. i was not terribly excited about a boy .. but he is awesome.. he was the calmest happiest baby i have ever met.. he never cried he slept great from birth (only waking in the night to nurse, no crying fussing etc) i would have a bazillion boys if it meant every one of them would be like my little guy .. my DD was a drama queen and crappy sleeper from birth.. but she was an early talker and a very calm toddler.. my DS has more energy, climbs and runs more, crawled earlier, loves to throw things.. and is 20 months now and basically doesn't talk .. (one word here and there) all in all, i think they turned out to be equal as far as pros and cons go .. and when i think about this next baby, i don't really hope for a boy or a girl, but i am hoping for another calm happy baby.. if that means boy, that is just fine with me..

eta: ok this thread is making me want another boy..

[magrat]

I felt exactly the same as you when my surprise DD was born - I was all set for a boy to avoid being disappointed. Despite knowing some great little boys, I'm still just ehhh on having a little boy (though I feel pretty 50/50 on what I want this pregnancy). A while ago I was out for a walk and these two 15 year old (I'm guessing) boys walked by in their dorky guitar hero shirts and bad haircuts and suddenly I was totally okay with having a son. Any child of ours is going to be geeky anyway, and there is something very endearing about a geeky, awkward teenage boy.

[BarnMomma]

OK, I'll tell the ugly truth here. When I found out i was having a son I freaked out. As in sobbed so hard that they had to stop the ultrasound becasue I was in near hysterics. THis was beyond gender disappointment...this ranked up with angry at god. All I had known of little boys, those I had encountered prior, were the ugly clothes, the fighting, the whining, and what seemed to me to be a constantly dirty or sick group of children.

Then DS came into the world. How foolish I was. I hang my head in shame for ever having those feelings.

First of all, DS is BEAUTIFUL. I just can't get over that this angelic creature came out of hideous old me. People have literally apologized for staring at him...he's just so lovely.

He's calm, he kind, he's cuddly as can be. He's gentle and sweet. He's funny. He's intellegent beyond what I had imagined. Always figuring things out, paying attention, and as such he's always FUN. We could always DO things together, things that usually appealed to kids older than him. He alwasy tries to help and he's really and truly a little ball fo light.

SO here's my current situation...lol. Pregnant again and worried how in the world will this new baby EVER compare to this little angel we were blessed with? Of course I know I will fall head over heels for this child no matter what, but my son has changed my life in so many amazing ways and I know I was given this beautiful boy for a reason. If for not other reason than to open my eyes to the beauty of little boys.

[meganlisbeth]

i always wanted a girl and will admit to a (fleeting!) moment of disappointment when DS was born. it passed so quickly though. my son is my angel, my teacher, and the one person who can actually slow me down enough to be mindful of my surroundings. he is the sweetest boy, super cuddly, and very loving.

i'm sure he fits some of the little boy stereotypes too, but i had some of the same thoughts and he has really surprised me. he is such a cautious little guy...never pulled himself up only to let himself fall back on his bum, he always felt around for the floor/ground before letting go. oh, i could go on and on but will spare you.

there is a great book out there called It's a Boy: Women Writers on Raising Sons. you might want to check it out if you do have a little boy.

[Pinoikoi]

Well, I am currently raising 4 sons, my stepson is out of the house now.

Boys are incredibly loyal to their mothers. My youngest is incredibly protective of me, too. My boys are quick witted and funny. They are incredibly active and try REALLY HARD at Tae Kwon Do (even though sometimes they don't QUITE get the moves right they yell really loud anyway! )

[Marylizah]

I can't tell you how much I love my sweet, cuddly, funny, highly-verbal, cautious, kind, empathetic, conscientious, bright little boy. He's truly the light of my life. He's also athletic, coordinated, full of energy, slightly perfectionist and, well, a lot like both of his parents.

Really, I never expected raising a boy (or, to be honest, any child) to be so much fun. And boy, does he ever love his mama.

[emnic77]

Ditto what others have said. I was disappointed at my u/s with my DS because I just didn't know what I would *do* with a boy.

He is the sweetest little kid...he's constantly giving us random "I love you my sweet mama/dada/Sammy" (his sister). He's super cuddly, waaaay more than my very independent daughter ever was. He is compassionate, kind, and helpful. He's just as dramatic as my daughter was at his age, so I'm going to go ahead and chalk that up to my genes and not gender.

When I was explaining my midwife to him one day before she came over, I had said "she helps mamas have babies because it hurts some to push the baby out", and he looked at me very seriously and took my hand and said "don't worry mama, I'll hold your hand."

That pretty sums up his demeanor.

Yes, the testosterone runs rampant sometimes. Yes, he crashes things together and has always loved cars and loud noises and Star Wars. He plays more physically than my DS did, and his whole body is always moving. He also has had his hand perpetually down his pants for the past 4 years. But he's super finicky about cleanliness (no sticky dirty little boys here, I have to encourage him to dig in the garden with me, he HATES getting dirty).

One thing I didn't expect - he's such a tiny little version of DH that when I look at him, I almost feel like I'm getting to see my husband when he was a little boy, and that's very endearing to me. I hope that doesn't sound creepy but my husband is a scientist, and very methodical and very detail oriented, and DS is very much like that...he will spend a half hour with DH in the basement following pipes and wires around because he HAS to know where the water or electricity comes from. Watching him I can totally see what DH was like as a little boy. It's charming.

[Georgetown HB Mom]

Originally Posted by Pinoikoi

Boys are incredibly loyal to their mothers.

I am pregnant with baby #3. I have 2 daughters and I am scared to death to have a boy. Won't know till it is born. Anyway, the above quote is really what has me scared because it is not what I have experienced in my life. My experiences have been the opposite, that the girls are loyal and they stay loyal to their mom's. My dad had the sweetest mom in the world but he treated her horribly during his adult life. My brother recently married and had a baby and they have pushed my mom out. She has not even been allowed to come see the baby although it is almost a month old. And my mom has done nothing but be supportive and nice to my brother and his wife. And my own husband does not have a very good relationship with his mom. Part of that is due to me. She did not really accept me when we married 15 years ago and that has put a strain on their relationship.
So, I am scared to death that if I have a son he will grow up and our relationship with turn bad. I am also scared that he will marry someone with different opinions on birth and motherhood etc. My girls think homebirth is the normal way to have a baby. What if my son married someone who has the opinion that they are too posh to push?

Lisa

[zinemama]

I honestly can't think of a single thing I love about my kids that has to do with them being boys. The things I love about them are qualities that they possess because they are who they are.

Aside from the fact that most boys have a lot of energy and seem to have a need to hurl themselves and other objects through space in a way that, frankly, I find incomprehensible, I don't think there's a whole lot of generalizing that can be done.

[sostinkinhappy]

Originally Posted by magrat

there is something very endearing about a geeky, awkward teenage boy.

Hey - that's just what I was thinking this weekend when I watched my 13 1/2 year old run across the field to the neighbors house.

When I first found out baby #2 was a boy, it took nearly the rest of the pregnancy to come to terms with it. But oh the joy, the absolute joy of raising him! I was thrilled when I found out I was having another boy the next time I got pregnant - I had spent eight wonderful years raising his brother and couldn't wait to add another boy to the mix.

Funny thing, when I found out I was having a girl this time around, I sobbed my guts out on the way home from the appointment...and not because I was happy about it either. I mean, what on earth am I supposed to do with a girl??? Mr. Amazing Man gently reminded me those were my exact feelings when I found out I was pregnant with my first son!

[Vancouver Mommy]

Boys love their mamas. And you won't butt heads in the same way you will with a girl. OK, these are huge generalizations I know, but my son is so much cuddlier than my dd.

When I was pg with my son I mentioned to an uncle that another girl would be cheaper because we already had lots of stuff. He laughed and laughed and then said "Honey, girls are NEVER cheaper".

When ds was born I lifted him up out of the water with my hand under his bum. When I realized he had manly parts my first words were "I didn't even know that I wanted a boy till this minute".

[VegMomma]

Originally Posted by zinemama

I honestly can't think of a single thing I love about my kids that has to do with them being boys. The things I love about them are qualities that they possess because they are who they are.

Aside from the fact that most boys have a lot of energy and seem to have a need to hurl themselves and other objects through space in a way that, frankly, I find incomprehensible, I don't think there's a whole lot of generalizing that can be done.

I have two boys, who are both completely sweet and endearing, and complete opposites. DS1 is calm, has the patience to sit and look at books for hours (and has done that since he could sit up), mature, and very sensitive. DS2 is more typical "boy", likes trucks, has a killer sense of humour, and is so so loving.

They are awesome people.

[bohemama]

Thank you! Thank you for posting this question! I am a mother of two girls and could very possibly be having a boy in September. I love my girls, I've always pictured myself a mother of three girls, and I just can't imagine mothering a boy. These posts are a wonderful reminder that I'm receiving a new person into my family not a gender. I will love my son and will probably wonder what the heck I was so worried about all those years ago!

Thank you for the perspective!

and for the knowledge that I'm not the only mama out there that feels this way!