6 year old obsessed with hair, diagnosed with Asperger's?

[RockStarMom]

I am looking for help with my friend's son. He is 6 years old and is a wonderful, typically developing child. The "issue" is his extreme obsession with hair. He has had this obsession since around the age of 3. He wants to be a hairstylist and would just play with doll's hair all day long if he could(or any willing person's). I have observed a few gender "issues" such as him wearing his sister's pink skirt to the store(when he was with only me--his parents would never allow him to do it) and him saying he wishes he was a girl and telling his friends to call him by a female name, but these things rarely happen--it's mainly the hair.
I think I am the only friend/family member who considers him completely normal and is unconcerned. His stepfather is just horrific with the way he deals with this, and his mom I think deep down is fine with it, but is so influenced by her husband and her son's teachers, etc. that she gets upset with her son for this also.
His mom just called me, very upset, saying that the teacher is fed up with his hair obsession and how it is interfering with his school performance, paying attention in class, and interactions with other students(he's bullied a lot). They called in the counselor, and they did a preliminary diagnosis of Asperger's, saying the hair fixation is a stim.
I nanny for a 6 year old child with Asperger's, so I am quite familiar with it, and I am nearly 100% certain that this child does not have Asperger's. He is one of the most talkative, engaging, charming children I know.
I am just very concerned that so many professionals are treating the hair obsession like it's something they need to stop. I live far from these friends, but would like to help. Can anyone help point me in the right direction as far as resources or advice for his mom?

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Well, if he's being annoying, they need to work on the issue. Just because he's been diagnosed with something, doesn't mean he gets a free pass to touch everyone's hair.

If he's not just constantly touching or trying to mess with other's hair, and just seems to like to play hair stylist (without being obnoxiouus to others) then I don't see the problem.

I had a student who was diagnosed with high functioning autism. He was AMAZING!!!! BUT, he had to count kids.. all day. Whenever they changed seats, or we went to circle time, he had to touch them on the head and count them. If he was stopped, he'd start over. It was fine to count them, but he needed to learn not to touch every child on the head six times a day. So, for almost a year "head touching" was on his four month plan in his folder. It took a full year, but he learned to be more appropriate. (or he outgrew it)

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by RockStarMom

They called in the counselor, and they did a preliminary diagnosis of Asperger's, saying the hair fixation is a stim.

Asperger's is a medical dx, and a counselor CAN NOT dx. Is there a plan to have this child seen by a specialist medical doctor for an evaluation?

One of my pet peeves is people dxing things like ASD. Unless you went to medical school and then did extra study in this field, you just can't.

It sounds like something up with this child, and I think an evaluation is in order.

the teacher is fed up with his hair obsession and how it is interfering with his school performance, paying attention in class, and interactions with other students(he's bullied a lot).

There are red flags that should be looked at. This behavoir causes him a lot of problems, but he can't stop it. That's not good.

What does the school want to do? What are they offering? Do the parents have good health insurance? I prefer private evaluations over those available through schools, but I'm biased.

I like the book "Quirky Kids: Understanding and Helping Your Child Who Doesn't Fit in - When to Worry and When NOT to Worry" by Klass MD and Costello MD.

Good Luck!

[Mamacitac]

Originally Posted by Linda on the move

It sounds like something up with this child, and I think an evaluation is in order.

I don't think anything is "up" with him. He is just a little boy who likes doing hair.
It doesn't make him different or weird. Some boys like toy trucks, some like doing pretending to be a hairdresser, and have fun in girl clothes. Like dressup..for boys.

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Originally Posted by Mamacitac

I don't think anything is "up" with him. He is just a little boy who likes doing hair.
It doesn't make him different or weird. Some boys like toy trucks, some like doing pretending to be a hairdresser, and have fun in girl clothes. Like dressup..for boys.

Anything that interferes with his day to day life, or disrupts the class is a problem.

[Jenifer76]

Originally Posted by RockStarMom

y did a preliminary diagnosis of Asperger's, saying the hair fixation is a stim.
I nanny for a 6 year old child with Asperger's, so I am quite familiar with it, and I am nearly 100% certain that this child does not have Asperger's. He is one of the most talkative, engaging, charming children I know.

FYI, my son with Asperger's is talkative, engaging and charming. Most people upon meeting him don't believe he is on the spectrum because he is outgoing. But those attributes don't negate that he has Asperger's Syndrome. That being said, I don't know this child beyond what you wrote. If the Mom is concerned, she should have him seen by a developmental pediatrician (or other professional) to get an official diagnosis.

If his obsession is disruptive to the class then I can see it being an issue. A teacher can't allow one child to interfere with the rest of the class' ability to learn. My son is obsessed with Mario Brothers and Calvin and Hobbes. He could monopolize the entire day talking about either of those topics. That wouldn't be fair to his classmates though. When he is being particularly disruptive or needs a break, he has a resource room he can go to for a bit. There are usually only one or two other kids in the room (sometimes none) and the teacher can work directly with him. He really enjoys his time there and it helps him get back on track.

Hope it works out for the best for the little guy.

[Chicky2]

I agree that if it is disrupting his or other children's ability to concentrate and learn then it is a problem.

FWIW, my ADULT dd just recently was officially diagnosed w/Asperger's (and a whole host of other things), and we see some of the same behaviors in our son. We would NEVER just go by what a counselor says. We went the route of a full clinical psychological evaluation at a nearby university, as was recommended by her psychiatrist.

[StephandOwen]

Originally Posted by Mamacitac

I don't think anything is "up" with him. He is just a little boy who likes doing hair.
It doesn't make him different or weird. Some boys like toy trucks, some like doing pretending to be a hairdresser, and have fun in girl clothes. Like dressup..for boys.

Yes, some boys like trucks. But if it's to the point where it's obsessive and interferes with his and others learning- it's a problem. My ds has autism. He is obsessed with trains. It's a problem sometimes when it interferes with his learning and his classmates learning (and safety, as we discovered yesterday when he hit a classmate because my ds wanted to be the "caboose" in line and this other boy was the caboose). It doesn't mean he's "weird", but he is different AND THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT!

I would strongly urge the parents to take what the school says with a grain of salt and get a professionals opinion.

[Rowansmama]

I've had a condition called trichotillomania (compulsive hair pulling) since I was a small child. I used to pull my hair out and chew on it, as well as any hair I found on the floor. I still play with my hair alot, pull it out, and sometimes chew on it However, this condition isn't related in any way to Aspergers - it's just a condition, much like OCD or any other compulsive disorder.

Just wanted to throw that out there as a possibility!