Night Weaning - it's been a few weeks and still not sleeping!

[JaguarEyes]

Hi all,

I have been trying to night wean my 15 month old co-sleeping baby for the last few weeks already, following the Dr. Jay 10 day pattern. The problem is, after doing it for a few weeks, he is still waking up and crying for an hour or hour and a half sometimes, especially between 2:30 and 4 seems like. I haven't given in and have not given him milk between 12:00 and 7:00, give or take a 1/2 hour on either end. I don't pick him up either, just talk to him and pat him and shush him. But he still keeps waking up during that time, a few times a night and I am more tired with this routine than I was when he woke up every 2-3 hours to nurse. At least then we went back to sleep within a few minutes once he latched on. Does this mean he isn't ready to night wean? Anyone have any advice? He is teething, but they are teething for 2 years, so it seems like I will never do this if I wait for him to not be teething.

Thanks for any suggestions you might have!

[zensven42]

seems to me you answered your own question. Sounds to me that the babe is not ready to nightwean, but what do I know?. what do your instincts tell you?

[lifeguard]

Do you offer him some water when he wakes? I am often surprised at how genuinely thirsty ds is in the middle of the night (we just nightweaned recently as well).

[Baby_Cakes]

Do you have a partner who can help at night? Sometimes it helps because Dad or whoever isn't the person who has the milk, and they can soothe them back to sleep easier.

Offer water, offer a snack. Pick him up and console him if he's crying that hard for that long.

Or, maybe back off and wait another few months? It's really up to you. Some kids are just not ready, and it makes more sense to wait.

Hugs, mama! It's tough.

[paxye]

I would say that he is not ready. I think that that is a big misconception of nursing at night... Babies nurse at night for a reason, so taking away what they need doesn't change what what they need, it just makes the whole process more confusing and makes it harder on everyone...

when he is ready to not nurse at night anymore, he will stop...

[Peony]

Night weaning doesn't always mean that they will STTN, like other posters said, many times they wake for a reason and then nursing is just a way to get back to sleep. They didn't wake to nurse.

[Baby_Cakes]

Oh - yes. Nora has been nightweaned for 2 or 3 months but still wakes at night. She doesn't need/want to nurse. Sometimes she just needs to climb over me or DH and snuggle, or sometimes she needs to be rocked. It doesn't always solve the night waking.

[norajune'smama]

first, i would definitely pick him up. i don't remember dr. gordon's plan saying not to, but it's been a while since i read it.
second, i just have to mention allergies. my dd has food allergies that we are still (at 28 months!) figuring out and when she eats something she has a reaction to, she wakes every hour. it's really tough. so when i tried to nightwean her two months ago, she also didn't start magically start STTN.
here's the thing that made me start night nursing again: after 5 nights of trying to night wean ( and i definitely picked her up and tried everything i could to get her back to sleep) her daytime behavior was seriously affected. dh and i both noticed it and decided that for whatever reason, she wasn't ready. she was a bear during the day.
does your LO have any rashes or anything to make you suspect allergies? dairy will keep kids up at night if they're sensitive to it.
and 15 months is kind of young...

[zensven42]

yes, as others said, nightweaning doesn't necessarily stop night waking. I still wake up in the night at 31 years old Seriously though, my son nightweaned in 2 stages, going to 5 hours in a row at around 32 months and finally around 8 hours at 36 months. He still wakes at night though and comes over to lay on top of dad's tummy to go back to sleep. There can be many reasons for waking. It is of course good to make sure they are well nursed, fed and watered, clean, in comfy clothing before they go to sleep, and make sure all their other needs are met when they do wake in the night before you go to the nursing, in case it is not nursing that they are looking for. The best thing is to go with your instincts and the flow of things. Meet your child's needs and do not let them cry for long periods of time as it is stressful for everyone. Be gentle with the weaning if you feel you must do it. My son was definitely not ready at 32 months to go any longer than 5 hours without nursing, so I backed off for a while, but it was easily extended to 8 hours at 36 months without a fuss so I could tell he was ready.

[lmk1]

I second the water. We nightweaned back in June, and only now is ds sometimes sleeping through the night without waking up and needing water.
He drank so much water at night before, I was afraid he was diabetic...but he really was just used to getting fluids at night.

You said you were co-sleeping, but you're not picking him up. Are you still co-sleeping or are you also trying to put him in his own bed?
Sometimes ds would wake up and cry at night (we cosleep) and I would just pick him up and walk around with him and try to distract him by pointing at things he could be interested in (like cars outside). Sometimes we just woke up and played and he would sleep later. As he's grown older (27 months now), I'd say " do you want to put your head on mama's belly or nu (boob)" and he would be comforted by that instead of nursing. We're down to one nursing in the morning and I'm not rushing him on that one for another month or so. I'm pg and not planning on tandem nursing.

[JaguarEyes]

Thanks for all the posts, everyone!

I am going to still try the night weaning. I think it's more that he's used to getting what he wants when he wants it. And I generally want to give him that, just not between midnight and 6am.

He's not allergic that I know of, but I am going to keep a sippy cup by the bed to give him water at night. Maybe you're right that he's thirsty at night.

We are co-sleeping and I do snuggle with him when he wakes, as does DH.

Maybe I'll try it for another couple of weeks and see if things get better. If not, maybe I'll go back to nursing.

He's fine during the day - no changes in behavior for the worse.

He still nurses a lot though. 6am, 8am, 1pm for his nap, 6pm, 9pm to go to sleep, 11pm, so I think he's getting plenty of breastmilk. I'm not trying to wean daytime at all yet.

[vermontgirl]

I think there is a difference between a child not being ready to night ween and not wanting to night ween. A six month old still needs those calories and the comfort. A 15 month would rather nurse at night to get to sleep but I think they should be able to go without it.

It is your call. If you are uncomfortable doing it at night or YOU want to stop than just keep doing it. Eventually he will stop trying to nurse. If you are ok with nursing at night, keep doing it until he is older.