Late - what to do

[meemee]

Sometimes dd goes to bed early complaining of stomach ache or not feeling well so i dont wake her in the morning. result we end up in school more than half an hour late, but earlier than attendance so she is marked present.

i am in CA where the school gets money for the child being in school.

i do have the option of keeping dd home. HOWEVER she WANTS to go to school. for whatever reason just getting those extra hours of sleep really helps dd.

i went and spoke to her school and ther hands are tied. district policy and they abide strictly by that.

i spoke to her teacher who indirectly told me to bypass the front desk by getting in through the side gate as he doesnt mind dd being late. it would not disrupt his class.

the school district has a ridiculous policy. if the child is over 30 mins late they can be excused if they have a doctors note.

i havent spoken to the principal yet... not sure it would do me any good.

i can see though why the school district would have such a policy. i understand they have to see the full picture.

this is serious because we got our first letter of truancy. two more letters and the police and court would have to be involved.

so it seems my options are 1. always waking dd up early - not when she naturally wakes up on those mornings when i am not sure if she is going to wake up sick or not (I hate waking her esp on those mornings) or 2. just take the day off anyways - which again i hate doing esp. if dd wants to be in school. she doesnt usually. keeping her home however is not a problem. so if she wants to stay home i would have no problems. but if they are doing something fun she definitely wants to go in - even if she has a bad tummy ache.

i just need different perspective.

[ollyoxenfree]

Does she have an underlying chronic health problem? It sounds like it. If so, does your school district have an Independent Learning Plan (IEP) process for special needs children. You could seek to have her identified as special needs, based on her health issues. The IEP sets out accommodations that the school must make to help the child. I'd ask to have a "flexible day" as part of the IEP.

If she doesn't have a chronic illness, then I'm not sure what to tell you. I'd put her to bed early enough to ensure a good night's sleep, and then wake her in time to get to school promptly.

[meemee]

no its not a health problem. she has been late 3 times since september.

yeah i myself dont know how to solve this without feeling bad. or doing something one doesnt like.

[sunnmama]

I'd wake her in time to get up for school, and check in to see if she is feeling up to school that day. She can always say no, and go back to sleep. I'd talk to her about it beforehand, and explain that we have to decide at X o'clock am whether or not she is going to school for the day.

I wake my dc 50% of days. Other days, she gets up on her own. I wake her regardless of how she felt the night before, unless it was clear the night before that she must stay home (had a fever, for example).

[StephandOwen]

Originally Posted by meemee

no its not a health problem. she has been late 3 times since september.

Oh good gracious. My ds has been late more than 3 times since September, and none of them were because I let him sleep late (traffic was bad every single time... I know I just need to leave earlier). Fortunately we haven't gotten a truancy letter.... yet. I know it's coming soon....

Originally Posted by sunnmama

I'd wake her in time to get up for school, and check in to see if she is feeling up to school that day. She can always say no, and go back to sleep. I'd talk to her about it beforehand, and explain that we have to decide at X o'clock am whether or not she is going to school for the day.

I wake my dc 50% of days. Other days, she gets up on her own. I wake her regardless of how she felt the night before, unless it was clear the night before that she must stay home (had a fever, for example).

This is what I would do. Sorta. My ds would choose to stay home everyday if I gave him the option, so I wouldn't word it like that. I would more likely start waking him up and see how he's doing. If he's moaning and groaning and acting ill- he goes back to bed. If he's just grumpy b/c he doesn't want me to wake him I continue with waking him (I have to wake him everyday, his alarm blares for 30 minutes and he doesn't even stir ). If he has a fever the night before I just let him sleep because I know he's staying home.

[ollyoxenfree]

Originally Posted by meemee

no its not a health problem. she has been late 3 times since september.

yeah i myself dont know how to solve this without feeling bad. or doing something one doesnt like.

3 late arrivals in almost 5 months generates a truancy letter?? Gahh! I was thinking this was happening a few times a week! I'd say the school district policy is ridiculously over the top, but you probably can't change that. I still think your best plan is to make sure she's getting enough sleep the night before, and wake her in the mornings in time to get to school before the bell.

[ecoteat]

The school is forced by the state to be so harsh. At my school in Maine, we did not meet the state's Adequate Yearly Progress guidelines--not because of test scores, because of tardies and unexcused absences. Different states have different consequences for not meeting AYP, and I know Maine is pretty loose compared to most. In some states, though, if a school doesn't meet AYP several years in a row, the state can cut funding, take over administration, and fire staff. I'd bet your school's hands are tied and it is just trickling down to your family. So the only advice I can give you is to do what it takes to comply. I know it stinks, but that's the system you are in.

[Tigerchild]

Seconding that this is a forced policy, esp. for schools not making AYP. It may be a requirement for Title 1 schools in general too, if your school is a Title 1.

You don't really have a whole lot of choice here. Either start the process earlier, or make your plans now to deal with the consequences. Though if it's only happened 3 times since September (using up a third of your tardies before intervention I'm going to guess), you just have 5 months to go, and even if you stay at the same rate you won't trigger the tardy limit unless it's 6 (most states seem to be at 8 for whatever arbitrary reason).

You just need to keep an eye on things, start marking it on your calendar, so you know you'll need to be more active in enforcing wake up time or explaining to your daughter what the consequences for your family will be IF you get close to that point.

But if you don't really care until you reach that level, and it's not disrupting your daughter's school time according to the teacher, then I wouldn't waste a lot of time on it. You're not going to change a by-law enforced policy or get an exception, and I don't think any doctor will write "This kid can come to school tardy whenever she doesn't feel like getting up in the morning whenever it happens" note. I think you'd have a better case for an exception if it happened on a regular basis or a lot in a short period of time.

[CarrieMF]

How much earlier is she going to bed these times? What is her normal bed & wake up time? Would going to bed earlier every night help? The days she hasn't said she felt sick the night before do you have to wake her up in the mornings too?

[SunshineJ]

How old is your DD?

[mclisa]

get her out of bed and get her off to school.
She's playing you.

[Drummer's Wife]

I can't believe they are on you after being late only 3 times. You said you could just keep her home all day instead, but I would imagine they would look down on that more, right? At least here, even calling in sick is technically unexcused w/o a dr's note. If they miss more than 11 days you risk getting in trouble, legally. Still, I would probably make her get up on time if it's an issue of just wanting to sleep in but still wanting to go to school. As much as I hate getting up early, as do my kids, if they want to attend school, instead of homeschool, they have to follow the rules. Their school has a tardy bell 5 min. after start time and at that point you have to get a slip from the office. Mine have had to do that once, just the other day, and my DD was super upset b/c she had perfect attendance this year up to that point.

[bobandjess99]

Well. I think if you are going to choose school, then you do school. That means being somewhere at a certain time and following the rules they have established. Or else you choose a different option.

[rabrog]

Originally Posted by bobandjess99

Well. I think if you are going to choose school, then you do school. That means being somewhere at a certain time and following the rules they have established. Or else you choose a different option.

Exactly.

If your child needs more sleep, then she goes to bed earlier every night to get that sleep.

Jenn

[Honey693]

Originally Posted by mclisa

get her out of bed and get her off to school.
She's playing you.

Missing less than 3 hours of school in 5 months is playing someone? I'd think if she was playing her mom it'd be 3 times week, not three times since September.

[SubliminalDarkness]

Originally Posted by bobandjess99

Well. I think if you are going to choose school, then you do school. That means being somewhere at a certain time and following the rules they have established. Or else you choose a different option.

Yep, I agree.

[meemee]

no she is not playing me.

no she does not need more sleep. if she did it would be 3 times a week - not 3 times in 5 months. an early bedtime is not the answer.

oh she has been late by a few minutes a few times since sept. its the ones that are over 30 mins they call truancy.

i think i will have to keep an eye on this and follow on my calendar. i will also try and wake her (though i can tell when she is too sick to go to school) early to check. i really hate doing that when she is so soundly asleep.

no easy answer.

[sunnmama]

Originally Posted by meemee

i will also try and wake her (though i can tell when she is too sick to go to school) early to check. i really hate doing that when she is so soundly asleep.

no easy answer.

You hate waking her to go to school when she is well and sleeping soundly?

I think most of the kids at school need to be woken up a lot of the time. Like I said, I wake my snoring daughter at least 50% of the time to get up for school. If she is really sleeping soundly, I wake her up in increments (15 min before she needs to get up....10 min....5 min....GET UP!!! ). But I've never consider just letting her sleep until she gets up naturally (when she is well), if it means being late for school.

We homeschooled for a couple years. Even then, and in preschool years (home--no preschool attendance) I often had to wake her from sound sleep in the morning for one thing or another. Sometimes we had to get up and drive dh to work so we would have the car. Sometimes we had a dr appt or a field trip.

[StephandOwen]

Originally Posted by meemee

i will also try and wake her (though i can tell when she is too sick to go to school) early to check. i really hate doing that when she is so soundly asleep.

I hate to say it but- that's life. She'll learn that she needs to get up at a certain time to make it to school on time. Just because this years teacher doesn't really mind, doesn't mean that next years teacher won't be a stickler about her being at school on time every day. I would love to have a job where I can just wake whenever I naturally do and wander into work at any time.... but for most people that it's realistic! Just today, for example, ds didn't wake up until 10:40 (which means dp and myself didn't wake until 10:40). If that had been a school day he wouldn't have made it to school until after 11, just because I didn't want to wake him because he was sleeping soundly? Nope. Natural consequences for ds is if he doesn't go to sleep when I suggest he does (he often sits on his bed for hours reading), he'd going to be tired the next day. But he doesn't get a free pass to skip school

And I didn't realize that the 3 times was for 30+ minutes late. We don't even have that option at ds's school. The bell rings at 7:45. If you walk in the school after the bell has finished ringing, you are tardy and need to go to the office to get a tardy slip. There are adults standing at every door to make sure every child who walks in at 7:46 or later goes to the office (with their parent) to sign in and get a tardy slip.

[Emmeline II]

Originally Posted by meemee

Sometimes dd goes to bed early complaining of stomach ache or not feeling well so i dont wake her in the morning. result we end up in school more than half an hour late, but earlier than attendance so she is marked present.

My ds sometimes isn't feeling the best when he goes to bed, but I do not make any assumptions about how he will feel in the morning. If he doesn't have a fever and still wants to go to school, I take him. If he becomes ill at school, the teacher will send him to the nurse; if the nurse believes he won't be able to return to class, she will call me to pick him up.

I would just make sure she gets to bed at a time that gives her enough sleep, and wake her at the same time every day. Ds normally wakes on his own, but if he isn't up by 6:20 I will go and wake him; if he is reluctant, I just leave his light on and get his breakfast ready.