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Football, family, my son, and me - Page 6

post #101 of 122
Quote:
Originally Posted by velochic View Post
I'm wondering, though, if you substituted professional wrestling for football, would everyone still be advocating the same way? Because wrestling is no different than football to me and almost EVERYONE that I know says it's inappropriate for young kids.
Pretty weak comparison in my mind. Professional wrestling is ONLY a spectacle. It isn't a sport. Those guys are juicing actors who are trained as tumblers. A similarly violent sport to football would be hockey maybe. Boxing and MMA are certainly much more violent than football.
post #102 of 122

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Edited by GoestoShow - 1/4/11 at 9:15am
post #103 of 122
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoestoShow View Post
I agree.

I also think wrestling, wrestling, real Olympic sport wrestling is very different from, like, the WWF and what not. Yeah, it's kinda violent, but there are established rules and safety protocols and it's not common for someone to get seriously injured in real wrestling.
ITA. Invalid comparison.
post #104 of 122
Quote:
Originally Posted by sunnmama View Post
I have fond memories of watching WWF with my now dead Grandmother when I was a little kid
Sunnmama, maybe we are cousins? As I've read this thread I've been thinking about the time I spent with my grandmother watching wrestling (or as she'd say, "rasslin'). I think I remember the drama much more than the violence
post #105 of 122
Quote:
Originally Posted by plunky View Post
Pretty weak comparison in my mind. Professional wrestling is ONLY a spectacle. It isn't a sport. Those guys are juicing actors who are trained as tumblers. A similarly violent sport to football would be hockey maybe. Boxing and MMA are certainly much more violent than football.
I doubt that professional wrestlers and their fans would agree with you, but then professional football players and their fans wouldn't agree with me when I say that it's also a spectacle and a bunch of juiced up men who are trained as tumblers. But you're right, there are other violent sports. And I think that none of them are appropriate for young children, even though some believe they are a part of what some consider American "culture". I prefer to expose my child to the less violent aspects of "culture". Perhaps what has helped shape my opinion is that I wasn't raised in a sports-watching family (although I was a jock) and most certainly TV has nothing to do with any fond memories of growing up. I certainly think the OP can find other ways for her son to bond with the in-laws other than watching violence on TV. I'll just have to agree to disagree with you.
post #106 of 122
Actually the difference seems obvious. In boxing/wrestling the objective is to hurt the other person. In football the objective is to move the ball down the field and score points. Yes, sometimes people get hurt, but not as often as you would think...that's why all the fancy space age padding and protective equipment and RULES limiting how and when you can touch another player.

As for "professional" wrestling, that isn't a sport at all, its a very violent soap opera with predetermined outcomes. They aren't competing, they are following a script. And it is totally not appropriate for small children.

As for hockey, I kind of like that when someone starts a fight they get a "time out" in the penalty box
post #107 of 122
Quote:
Originally Posted by naismama View Post
Sunnmama, maybe we are cousins? As I've read this thread I've been thinking about the time I spent with my grandmother watching wrestling (or as she'd say, "rasslin'). I think I remember the drama much more than the violence
OMG! My gma said "rasslin'" too!

I would totally believe we were cousins, except my dad was an only child I really just remember the characters. Rowdy Roddy Piper was my favorite, because he wore a kilt

And, yeah, even as a kid, I understood it was scripted. Who doesn't?
post #108 of 122
Quote:
Originally Posted by ktmeyer View Post
As for hockey, I kind of like that when someone starts a fight they get a "time out" in the penalty box
Hockey is the only pro sport we go to watch on a regular basis, and my kids LOVE it when they play the Pink song "So What."
post #109 of 122
Quote:
Originally Posted by velochic View Post
I doubt that professional wrestlers and their fans would agree with you, but then professional football players and their fans wouldn't agree with me when I say that it's also a spectacle and a bunch of juiced up men who are trained as tumblers. But you're right, there are other violent sports. And I think that none of them are appropriate for young children, even though some believe they are a part of what some consider American "culture". I prefer to expose my child to the less violent aspects of "culture". Perhaps what has helped shape my opinion is that I wasn't raised in a sports-watching family (although I was a jock) and most certainly TV has nothing to do with any fond memories of growing up. I certainly think the OP can find other ways for her son to bond with the in-laws other than watching violence on TV. I'll just have to agree to disagree with you.
Someone correct me if I'm wrong because I'm certainly NOT a sports fan and have limited knowledge on the topic.

But isn't the point of football to score goals? And yes, sometimes people get hurt but there are rules and regulations in place to help avoid that (holding, roughing the passer, facemask, etc)

The point of wrestling, MMA or boxing is to hurt your opponent. I just don't see how the two can be compared. At all.

Edited to add: I see someone just said the same thing above me. At least I'm not the only one not seeing the comparison.
post #110 of 122
Quote:
Originally Posted by not now View Post
I don't give a flying leap about football or baseball or the Tour de France but I do know when the Super Bowl (and the Rose Bowl this year), the World Series are and when the tour is nearing the end. Why? Because he loves it. I ask questions because he likes to talk about it and I'm around to listen. I wear my pink Red Sox hat that he gave me because it was a gift, I like pink and he likes the Red Sox. Why not? I also don't know a thing about woodworking but I listen as he explains a saw stop, joiner, ect. It's what he likes. I feel as his partner I should respect his likes (within reason) and at the very least try to understand.

On the flip side he didn't know the difference between circular, DPN and straight knitting needles until he asked and he still doesn't quite get it but he tries. He doesn't "get" my love of vintage Pyrex and table linens but he listens as I drool over pink vintage Pyrex and asks questions.
I agree with this, I know when pitchers and catchers report because it matters to my husband. I don't really care, but it's something that has always been a huge part of his life so I pretend to care

I think it would be a mistake for the OP to skip out on a family event like this all the time. I'm assuming that that she knew what his family was like before they got married. If watching football and eating sub-par food once a week for a few months over the winter is your biggest problem, suck it up. I think that if my inlaws were otherwise decent people (no sloppy drunks, no safety issues, no controling battles, ect) I would have to let my issue with the whole football thing go and make sure that I went to the gatherings so my child could enjoy time with his family. It's not a big deal to bring along some toys or healthy snacks for him if he got bored or hungry. This is only as big as the OP wants it to be. I would highly recommend not turning into a big deal, be thankful that you have a large family that cares enough to invite everyone to visit and spend time together.
post #111 of 122

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Edited by GoestoShow - 1/4/11 at 9:17am
post #112 of 122
Quote:
Originally Posted by velochic View Post
I doubt that professional wrestlers and their fans would agree with you, but then professional football players and their fans wouldn't agree with me when I say that it's also a spectacle and a bunch of juiced up men who are trained as tumblers. But you're right, there are other violent sports. And I think that none of them are appropriate for young children, even though some believe they are a part of what some consider American "culture". I prefer to expose my child to the less violent aspects of "culture". Perhaps what has helped shape my opinion is that I wasn't raised in a sports-watching family (although I was a jock) and most certainly TV has nothing to do with any fond memories of growing up. I certainly think the OP can find other ways for her son to bond with the in-laws other than watching violence on TV. I'll just have to agree to disagree with you.
But surely your family had shared experiences that are important to you.

In thinking about this thread I was thinking about how my mother took us to the ballet - not every week, but we had a season's subscription. My father is, to put it mildly, not a big ballet fan, but he supported that (drove us down and picked us up) and it gave me quite a love of it. I appreciate that he gave both my mother and us kids the room to develop other tastes than his own.

And I know it sounds like a silly comparison, but if the concern is that football turns kids violent isn't that just a little bit like worrying that ballet will make a boy a sissy? When really it's more complex than that.

I keep reading the judgment as a class issue more than anything.
post #113 of 122
Quote:
Originally Posted by GuildJenn View Post
But surely your family had shared experiences that are important to you.

In thinking about this thread I was thinking about how my mother took us to the ballet - not every week, but we had a season's subscription. My father is, to put it mildly, not a big ballet fan, but he supported that (drove us down and picked us up) and it gave me quite a love of it. I appreciate that he gave both my mother and us kids the room to develop other tastes than his own.
Exactly my point. The OP's post indicates that she's feeling pressure to be involved in something she's not comfortable with. The in-laws should give her some room, just like your dad did for you. It sounds like he not only loved you deeply, but respected you deeply as well.

Quote:
Originally Posted by GuildJenn View Post
And I know it sounds like a silly comparison, but if the concern is that football turns kids violent isn't that just a little bit like worrying that ballet will make a boy a sissy? When really it's more complex than that.

I keep reading the judgment as a class issue more than anything.
I don't believe that football "turns kids violent", but little kids often play act what they see on TV. I don't think they are intentionally violent, but it CAN have an impact on behavior as does ANYTHING that a toddler sees and can't quite process fully to realize it's just "play acting" and not something we do to others. It has nothing to do with class, it has to do with what you want your children exposed to at an early, impressionable age. That's all. I've yet to see any young children hurt each other with ballet moves, but I've seen plenty of kids (boys and girls alike) "tackle" each other just like they see on TV.
post #114 of 122
My brother does not watch sports at all, and only recently started letting his kids watch aggressive themed movies. (They are 7 and in the 2nd grade) Those kids were extremely violent toddlers. So much so that it was a huge issue for their family as far as discipline strategies and parenting style. My SIL is a SAHM and those kids did not interact regularly with other kids so did not learn in it a peer setting. Some kids are just attracted towards violent play. You would think those kids watched MMA all day long the way they played.
post #115 of 122
Quote:
Originally Posted by MaterPrimaePuellae View Post

I attended USC, and I actually feel a lot of antipathy towards the football teams especially (while I was a student, various players were arrested/caught doing super-unpleasant things); furthermore, there was definitely a lot of extra responsibility placed on teachers (I was a TA for a few years) to "help" the sports players.
Holy Crap I had the exact same experience...right down to being a graduate student/TA at USC! I wonder if we know one another ?
post #116 of 122
Quote:
Originally Posted by velochic View Post
Exactly my point. The OP's post indicates that she's feeling pressure to be involved in something she's not comfortable with. The in-laws should give her some room, just like your dad did for you. It sounds like he not only loved you deeply, but respected you deeply as well. .
Wait a sec...the op is an adult with room to develop her own tastes. The question is should the op allow her child to be exposed to/develop the tastes of his father and his father's family.

And, yeah, kids don't need to watch football to enjoy rough, tackling play. Don't most toddlers love to tackle an adult? Mine did, and neither watched football (they were occasionally exposed, but never interested). Neither of mine ever tackled another toddler, because I supervised them.
post #117 of 122
My DS hates sports - either playing them or watching them - but he loves to wrestle with his Dad or Uncle. He'd probably tackle them too if he was a bit more coordinated, LOL.
post #118 of 122
I think wrestling is a fair coparison to football. The OP said that football bothers her and not just because it is boring to her. Some people don't have issues with football but that doesn't mean the people who do should just pretend they don't have issues. We all have different values and things we want our kids exposed to. Some people like to keep their kids from different music that others are fine with. Some people don't want their kids to read Harry Potter and I personally don't see anything wrong with Harry Potter.

I also have issues with professional sports and the marketing during the commercials that is trying to win kids over to drink their brand of beer or soda or unhealthy cereal. I also bothers me how obbsessed people get and how they let a game get to them and their mood so much. Domestic violence goes up during sporting events. I know sports are enjoyed in lots of countries but there is negativity in other sports. Soccor fans in many countries do vile things over a game. I don't like how much players get paid, how kids idoloze them and many aren't good role models and how sports players get worshiped. So many of my old classmates from school the only thing they ever talk about on facebook is what happens in a sports game. I don't like the yelling at the tv screen either.

My husband is obbsessed with sports and so is his family. My own family knows I don't like sports and why and yet my dad tries to talk to me about sports or send sports outfits for my kids.

I let my husband watch the game and I try to make him keep the volume down so it isn't the focus. I have him turn it off if he isn't actively watching. He usually foawrds through the commercials. I think a good compramise for your family could be to go every other weekend and maybe some of those weekends find something else for the kids to do. I know some people mention it is only 5 months but to me that is a long time. It is almost half the year.

As much as I would love to have my kids not be exposed to it I had to compromise and let my husband watch football. If we lived closer to family they would be over when games were played but I would not want it happening every weekend.
post #119 of 122
I would have a huge problem with taking an entire weekend day every week to hang out at someone else's house while they watch TV. I think the football itself and the food issues are less important than the massive time drain. I'd have to set limits - like one weekend a month. I can't imagine it would be fun for a child that age to be there either, being the only child. I dunno, I think you need to compromise here, and so do your inlaws.
post #120 of 122
DH is from a large Italian family. We are expected to be there every Sunday, no excuses other than pre-planned vacations or horrible illness, all year long. Every single Sunday.

Thankfully, MIL prepares food from scratch, being careful to provide a healthy, balanced menu. We often watch sports, but we don't have rules abut that, since the kids are usually playing with their cousins in another room anyways.

Since your son has no other kid cousins to go play with in another room, and since you hate the football, why don't you and he retreat to another room to play? And food to pass is always welcome at my ILs, why not take food you approve of that you know your son will eat, in amounts large enough to share with others? You can always say something like "He's in a picky stage right now, but I know he loves this, so I brought enough for everyone!" Turn on some music to drown out the football party noise and be done with it.

Yeah, it's a pain. Yeah, it's not really your MIL's intent. But if it keeps the peace, it's really only a couple of hours a week.
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