Sorry, but I wouldn't go. Maybe once a month tops. But, that's just me.
post #21 of 122
1/21/10 at 8:02pm
Yes, DS is the only child there. My MIL's other grandkids are all over 17 so it's kind of him plus a bunch of adults yelling at a TV, which he also doesn't understand and sometimes gets upset thinking everyone is mad.
The problem with NOT going is that as I said we are a very close family and any abscence is well, kind of frowned upon. If you are familiar with big italian families, then you'd understand. When MIL calls a party- you go.
And DH's family is VERY mainstream and really struggles I think to understand why we eat the way we eat. (which DH is fully supportive and appreciates99% of the time...it's just I guess his Mom, so he wants to eat and make her happy)
Anyway, thanks for all the opinions. Just feel a little stuck doing something I really don't want to expose DS to.
My advice is the same though--it's important to make an appearance at some of these events, but I really think every week is too much. Maybe every other week, maybe once a month, whatver works. If your MIL can't understand that then she's being inflexible.
At the same time, being flexible is important. I think raising your son without junk food and football is pretty much a lost cause because of the person you made a baby with. You can minimize it now while he is very young, but the reality is that in a few years (or a decade) he'll most likely be in there screaming with his dad (sorry of the bad news).
(I don't know why it is that so many of us fall in love with a person, have a child with them, and then do everything in our power to keep the child from becoming like their other parent. )
There is a middle ground.
What's the cost of not going? You've outlined clearly why you don't like it, and the negatives associated with going.
Can you do the same for the negatives involved in staying away? Off the top of my head they would be:
-Missing a family experience that's important to the extended family
-Not partaking in a family experience that dad really enjoys
how does that weigh against the food and tv issues that you have?
If it were me and I hated football, I'd have dh go without me some/most of the time (but take the kids!). I'd use this time for some well deserved time to catch up with old friends or read a worthless novel or take a bubble bath. I'd go about one a month (every other week if you really like his family).
As for the food - clearly the stuff that your MIL buys you object to. Fair enough. But either you have to let it go or bring your own. My kids are remarkably picky about the junk food they eat, and they're pretty able to leave it when they're not hungry. If I give them a good meal before we go, they won't eat much while we're out. So, junk food isn't a big trigger for me.
Let. It. Go.
Seriously, do not die on this hill. To mitigate, maybe make plans on some of the Sundays - playdates with WOHP who are unavailable during the week, maybe? Also, why can't you take ds in the other room and play with him? And does he nap? Would he not be asleep for part of the time during afternoon games? If nothing else, there are two weeks left in this season so just deal and then you'll have until August to brainstorm some other solutions. Oh, and be careful about being so certain about what you do and do not want your ds to like. He is his own person and he just might be the type who will relentlessly go after the most forbidden things!