My 5 yr old thinks he knows EVERYTHING

[jilly]

my 5 yr old ds has decided that he's so smart he knows everything, including what he should eat, wether he should have to have baths or go outside or take medicine for teething pain (his 6 yr molars are coming in) . . .

it is driving me nuts because he wants to argue endlessly about everything i ask him to do, and he's in a terrible temper because he's not eating any protein (not even soft things) or getting outside in the mild weather or doing any kind of sensory play that would usually help him keep his moods in check. which means he's having daily terrible screaming fits and acting like a little dictator.

its almost like he's enjoying being in a foul mood . . .

we also have a new baby and his brother just developed the fine motor skills to start playing with legos and the attention span to listen to chapter books, so more of his "big boy" distinctives are being taken away.

I'm trying to spend some extra time with him, but when I suggest that he do something with me he'll either refuse to spend time with me or he'll end up arguing with me the whole time about why he can't know everything and why he's not allowed to watch more tv and why his brother had to get such good presents for his birthday . . .

Any suggestions of how to deal with this other than spending all my time arguing and engaging in power struggles?

[K-Mom3]

For my ds, this is all about POWER. He wants power. I try to find as many ways as I can to give him power. Here are some things we've tried in our family.

1. Sometimes, ask him to plan a meal for the family. If he's complaining during a meal we tell him, this is what is for dinner. Would you like to choose something for dinner tomorrow? I have veto power but he still comes up with the meal. You also could consider giving him 2 options.

2. While we're walking to school (or another place) play the stop and go game. When he says go, we run, when he says stop, we stop. You could also try this with games at home where he can order you to stop and start blowing bubbles or building a tower or whatever. Games like Red Light, Green Light and Mother May I are good for this, too. I've done singing games where he decides when we're singing quiet or loud by moving his hand up and down.

3. Praise him for the choices that he is allowed to make himself. When he gets dressed on his own, I tell him and I like the way the outfit matches, for example.

4. Put him in charge of an outing. For example, I'll say we are going to the park, the library and the post office. You choose what order.

5. Give him some "time-in" time. I set a timer for 5 or 10 minutes and say, you get to do whatever you want. I play legos or memory or Candyland or playdough or whatever with him and follow his lead for how the play goes.

6. We read in one of the Frog and Toad books a story called, "The List." Ds copied from the story and made a list of 5 things he wanted to do that day and I looked at the list and said, okay, we can do 4 of these things and we got to work on them. A lot of them were things we would have done anyway but it helped him feel like he was in charge.


It sounds like you may have some sensory issues to deal with--my ds has an ASD and I try to respect his sensory needs as much as possible....If the food thing is sensory you may need to see an OT.