PPD getting worse at 5 months?

[kjenkins55]

Hi everyone. I really thought that my initial depression at about 4 weeks pp was situational..I'd been hit with multiple severe bouts of mastitis and had just decided to exclusively pump instead of struggling with nursing. So when my midwife wrote me a script for Zoloft, I pitched it and went on. Now, at 5 1/2 months pp..I feel so awful. When my milk supply dwindled from the 3 bouts of mastitis, I broke down and ordered Domperidone. It has worked great- I have more than enough milk for my LO..but. It has made me gain weight, and I couldn't afford to gain any at all. I stepped on a scale last night and wanted to collapse in a heap on the floor.

I've worked so, so hard to give my daughter breastmilk, and have succeeded. But I hate myself. I was overweight before but this is even worse...last night I sobbed until about 2am and then wouldn't get up in the morning- thankfully my husband watched the baby, because I got up to pump, and then went back to bed..until almost noon. I had an appointment with my CNM today, and skipped it because I can't stand the thought of going back there and having this weight on record..especially after I started losing lbs like it was nothing right after she was born.

But I don't think its simply about gaining weight, I've been depressed overall lately. It has resulted in a detioration in my relationship with my husband, I've been short and impatient with him much of the time. I feel so badly..because I'm so hard on him because I'm so unhappy.

Did any of you have a good experience with Zoloft? I'm willing to try it this time around and stay on it long enough to see if it works..if I can muster up the courage to make another appointment and go to the midwife. Has anyone else had PPD show up a little bit later in the game? I feel like I'm going crazy..yet I know much of my depression is irrational.

[wantingagirl2b#4]

I personally have not but have saw a major difference it did for my sister n law. she was having it really hard just waking herself and it made a MAJOR difference in her life as well as the family. I am so sorry mama you are experiencing this ((((((((((((HUGS TO YOU))))))))))))))) I am 5'3 and weigh 216 so I am not little myself I do know what it is like to struggle with this unwanted weight but get yourself and baby feeling lovely again. Easier said than done but try not to worry about your weight you are being the best mom you can and you have went above the call of duty to provide all this lovely milk now you and baby ENJOY the bonding experience together. Later there is a site if you want to look at that I am learning about is called drcolbert.com and it looks to be workable not your standard fad diet!!!! Well good luck mama and take care just wanted to offer you words of encouragement and (((((HUGS)))))! I just looked up for depression they have used for 100 years or more acupunture if you wanted to try that mama.

[K-Mom3]

My ppd showed up 6 months post partum and it was in the middle of January. No coincidence there. I think the combination of winter + post partum was what did me in. I know that some milk supply meds are linked to ppd as well. It is possible that you could stop taking that one now and your supply might be okay without it.

It helped me a TON to get outdoor light every day. I also had a special lamp that someone loaned me. It wasn't as effective but it was useful for days when going outside was impossible. Look up light therapy. It has been shown by research to help many forms of depression, not just SAD.

And yes, if you and your family are suffering, you can go for the Zoloft. There were many things about it I didn't like but it sure helped me recover from depression. Read through the other posts on this forum. There is a lot of input about Zoloft and other remedies.

[Kailey's mom]

Zoloft has been a life saver *literally* for me

[FischK]

Untreated depression doesn't just go away. I was diagnosed with PPD quite early, but even with Zoloft I still had to ride out some lows as I struggled with the aftermath of a traumatic birth, the demands of motherhood and my return to my very stressful job. Only about a month ago did I feel like things were finally coming into place, and I know there's still work for me left to do.

So, Zoloft has been a life saver for me too. There's no way I would have made it without it. Regular counseling has been another life saver. Good luck.

[annekh23]

I don't think PPD getting worse at about 5mths is at all unusual, it was definitely when I felt the worst, even with treatment and with a couple of other friends who had it very severely, emergency hospital admissions happened around the 5month mark.

I would go to a psychiatrist, most of those don't practice in a a setting where a nurse will do things like weighing you before anyone actually talks to you.

[Lachesis]

I have had better results with Paxil, but I am not sure how Paxil is with breastfeeding mamas. Also Paxil *can* cause weight gain on some women. But I'd be more concerned getting my depression in order vs weight gain.

Keep in mind, it works differently on different people!
I was up to 150mg and a zombie on zoloft. It was terrible. I am on 40mg of Paxil and see my old me... long before the 2 babies. My husband sees the old, fun me. It's been wonderful. I had forgotten what the old me was even like.

[annekh23]

That's another reason to see a psychiatrist, most midwives are going to start out with zoloft, when a psychiatrist will have more experience with what drugs help in more specific situations.

[SLPmom76]

My situation sounds somewhat similar to yours. I can really empathize with you, but I try to tell myself that I know I am really trying my best to be a good mom and that's what's really important. I just realized i was not being the best mom I could be, and I was getting irritated so easily and was afraid my depression would affect my son. I experienced a severe case of PPD right after DS was born, but didn't really do anything about it. I already had risk factors going in (history of some depression/anxiety, thryoid problems, 1st child after age 30), and add on top of that a tramautic birth and unplanned c-section (which luckily turned out OK), a naturally not-good sleeper, and bf'ing not going well (poor weight gain)...I too decided to exclusively pump because I was so anxious each time he latched on and worried about his weight. I thought PPD was getting better and my OB wanted me to start counseling. Went to a lady, didn't really click with her, and I thought it was getting better. Here I am almost 6 months later, and I realize it's not and it's affecting everything I do. I finally did 2 things: made an appt. w/my regular doc, who gave me a prescription for Lexapro, and have an appt. with a pscyhologist who specializes in PPD. I found the psych. on postpartum.net, if that helps.

[azgirl]

yes :)

My PPD peaked at around 4 months. I wish I had started Zoloft sooner. It def. worked for me. It wasn't perfect, but I would/will do it again in a heartbeat. I also went to therapy. I can see now that I was almost psychotic. I took the Zoloft for 8 months. I weaned off the Zoloft slowly almost a year ago and I have never been happier. I continued to pump while using Zoloft. I have struggled with anxiety/depression my whole life, but the PPD was extreme. Oh, I just heard on NPR that, while anti-depressants aren't much better than placebo in some situations, PPD is one situation that they have been proven to work. (also other severe depressions triggered by events, as I understood it) That really jives with my experience and the experience of several of my friends. Good luck, you are getting good advice. Oh, I saw an actual psychiatrist and a cognitive behavioral therapist.

[VisionaryMom]

PPD is most common in the fourth month post-partum. I read that when I had it with my son and was so glad because it mimicked my experience. I always thought you either got it pretty quickly pp or not at all.

I also experienced the same weight changes you did. By about 2 wks pp, I was pretty close to my pre-pg weight. At about 4 months with both babies, I started putting weight back on. If I had to do it again, I would have started taking medication again sooner.