Helping a 3y/o to share and be gentle

[lonegirl]

Hi! Tyr is 3 and he goes to Gymboree once weekly. This is his main interaction with other kids his age and younger (other than swimming lessons). He is with adults all the time and is great with them...he shares whatever he has....be it video games, taking turns, toys, food....but when it comes to other kids....I am constantly reminding him....and reminding him and reminding him. Also in the Gymboree free play area there are a lot of babies and young toddlers....if he sees them heading in the direction of anything interesting he tears across the room to block their way or take a ball before they can get it. It is frustrating to say the least. We go to free play for the 1/2 hour before his Art class starts and he loves it...but it gets to the point where I don't feel like coming early just to avoid the hassle. With older kids he is great (4 and up) he tends to relate to them better (in some ways he is quite advanced for his age and people often think him 4 not just 3). Plus with the older kids I know they can stand up for themselves if he tries to barge in....

[lonegirl]

Any suggestions?

23 people had read and no one has any advice? Just bumping to see if anyone has ideas on how I can do this.

[meemee]

you are asking too much out of him.

guide him. yes. but dont expect him to truly understand and listen. i mean come on. dont you find it hard sharing your own favourite thing.

even though he is advanced for his age - this is v. CRITICAL - dont expect too much. he is still a 3 year old. there are things he might understand, even read or know things - but emotionally he is still 3 years old.

so dont get frustrated. keep on your suggestion and one day when he is ready he will get it.

have you ever let the kids sort it out by themselves - the older ones with ur ds. it has constantly amazed me how little i needed to interrupt because the kids sorted it out themselves. even at 3.

dont stop going. its his learning place. by mixing with others he will figure out what to do. plus its something he enjoys too.

a great series of books is by louise aimes bates called 'your _ year old'. i think she goes upto age 12. its invaluable. dont look at the discipline as it was written in the 60's but it is spot on about what is normal at that age.

[lonegirl]

Originally Posted by meemee

you are asking too much out of him.

guide him. yes. but dont expect him to truly understand and listen. i mean come on. dont you find it hard sharing your own favourite thing.

have you ever let the kids sort it out by themselves - the older ones with ur ds. it has constantly amazed me how little i needed to interrupt because the kids sorted it out themselves. even at 3.

dont stop going. its his learning place. by mixing with others he will figure out what to do. plus its something he enjoys too.

a great series of books is by louise aimes bates called 'your _ year old'. i think she goes upto age 12. its invaluable. dont look at the discipline as it was written in the 60's but it is spot on about what is normal at that age.

As for the first highlighted bit....it isn't his favourite thing....it just happens to be whatever he sees the younger kids go for....suddenly he just has to have it or do it (slide, balance beam, balls)

AS for the second bit...I let the kids sort it out if it is the bigger kids. He never has a problem with them...he likes playing with the big kids. It is the young toddlers and babies I worry about because he bullies them imo (pushes, hits, blocks their way, takes away whatever they have just grabbed, runs ahead so he can beat them to wherever they were heading so he can go first)

Thanks for the book suggestion...I will look it up!!

[meemee]

Originally Posted by lonegirl

As for the first highlighted bit....it isn't his favourite thing....it just happens to be whatever he sees the younger kids go for....suddenly he just has to have it or do it (slide, balance beam, balls)

this reminds me of one incident that remains deeply etched in my mind.

dd was about 2 1/2 and had just finished playing at the railway table at the railroad museum. she wanted to nurse right away so i was nursing her at the benches on the side there. and suddenly i got the big picture from watching the kids around the trian table. there was a bunch of 3 or so year olds trying to snatch trains out of each others hands - always wanting the train the other kid was using and each of them had their parent kneeling next to them guiding them nad stopping them from snatching. soon i became one of those parents too.

[lonegirl]

Originally Posted by meemee

this reminds me of one incident that remains deeply etched in my mind.

dd was about 2 1/2 and had just finished playing at the railway table at the railroad museum. she wanted to nurse right away so i was nursing her at the benches on the side there. and suddenly i got the big picture from watching the kids around the trian table. there was a bunch of 3 or so year olds trying to snatch trains out of each others hands - always wanting the train the other kid was using and each of them had their parent kneeling next to them guiding them nad stopping them from snatching. soon i became one of those parents too.

Thanks! I'm glad I'm not alone

[vickin]

I was literally going to begin a thread with a situation almost exactly the same as this one. My 3.5 year old son does NOT like younger kids. PERIOD! Everytime we are out and about - whether at an open gym, play area in a mall, and even with his 2 yr old cousin, he snatches toys from them, blocks them from every move that they make, etc., etc. I realize he is only 3.5 years old, but GEEZ! This has been going on for about a year now, and I honestly don't know what to do. Even though he is around other kids practically every day, I am tired of the one who has a kid that doesn't know how to be gentle with the little ones. You are definitely not alone!