Preschool before homeschooling

[Holiztic]

I posted several months ago to see if any other homeschool moms had sent their little ones to preschool just for the chance to make some friends and see them regularly. Now I am back for more! Help!

We need to decide soon if DS will attend preschool in the fall, but I am so conflicted! I found what seems like a great one that is small (not a center or school type--just the one group of 15 kids in a small space). It is mixed age (a must for us). We have not visited yet, but I love what they have to say on their website, I love the pictures of the space, and I even drove by at pick-up yesterday and loved the two teachers standing at the door welcoming the parents in and then standing at the door again a few minutes later to see them all off.

BUT! I am so worried about the whole "preparing them for school" thing. Am I going to have to work to acclimate him to not going to school after the program is over? It is 2 days a week, but for 4 hours (longer than I'd like, but its the only good option I have found). Even at 4 he would do this schedule. As long as we find other social opportunities for him at 5 when he's homeschooling kindergarten, will there even be an issue explaining why he's not going to kindergarten (school) like his friends?

And how do I tell him kindergarten isn't so great without telling him its terrible (and upsetting his friends when he repeats it!)

Before anyone says it, I am looking into homeschool groups that are ACTIVE (really want to see the same kids 2x a week so he can build some friendships!) AND that include a number of preschool aged kids. No luck so far, but I'll keep trying--and no, I am not up to starting anything this year!

We also thought about putting together our own preschooly social program, which I love, including kindermusik, gymnastics, and sunday school--but he'd see a different set of kids in each one AND they're 45-60 minutes each with little to no free play time for the kids to play/work together.

Experiences transitioning a kid from preschool to homeschool? Ideas other than preschool for 2x a week and ongoing with the same kids and time for free play? Playdates DO NOT work, no one can seem to do 2x a week for 2-3 hours each, esp. if we want several kids and mixed-age!

[jrcronewillis]

In my experience, kids are so flexible that it just doesn't matter too much either way. Our son had a variety of preschool experiences--everything from a CoOp to full-time Mama led to a traditional drop-off program. He loved them all and still loved it when we began to homeschool kindergarten at age 4/5. And we know lots of kids who have also made that transition well. We also have many friends who kept their kids home and they did fine as well. The one thing I've noticed is that almost all of them go through some confusion and curiosity about going to school. It's such a cultural norm that even if kids haven't been to preschool, they still hear and see things about going to kindergarten.
One thing we did (which it sounds like you are trying to find) was get involved with the homeschool groups while he was in preschool. That really helped establish his identity as a homeschooler and make the connections we needed to go forward.

Good luck.
Juliette

[lach]

My kids will go to a 5 day a week Montessori program through kindergarten, and then I plan on homeschooling them. I imagine we'll have to do a bit of deschooling, but mainly my strategy is to work a bit of academic work into the rhythm of our home life, so that we don't get into some kind of mindset where "learning is what happens at some separate school building that you take a bus to." Obviously we're talking preschool, so "academic work" isn't sitting there copying lines or anything... but we're working through the Brightly Beaming Resources curriculum now and we do other odds and ends of preschool type stuff.

The Montessori school we use is a private school in a different town, so after the program is over kids disperse to all different schools, either public or one of the privates around here. That so many of the kids will be going to so many different schools will hopefully make it easier for us, too.

[sahmmie]

My oldest dd went to a year of pre-school, a year of Pre-K, Kindergarten and First Grade before I decided to homeschool. I don't feel like I've had to do any "unschooling" at all, except maybe in the area of testing. I give her tests but tell her that it's only so I can see what's she's learned and what we need to work on, but she's very concerned about what grade she gets (I don't grade though) because that's what she was used to at school. My younger dd on the other had doesn't care about grades because she was never exposed to that.

My second dd went to one year of pre-school and a year of Pre-K. No problem at all transitioning her to homeschooling. I think the kind of preschool you choose may have an impact on how they view home schooling. The Pre-school and Pre-K that my dd's went to was a "learn through play" type center. No desk work. No worksheets. That's what I prefer for that age group.

I plan on sending my ds next year to one year of Pre-K mainly because I think it helps them grow up a little bit emotionally because they get to do something alone without mommy or siblings by their side. Pre-school and Pre-K were good experiences for both of my dd's and I expect it will be for my son as well.

I don't think you have to necessarily tell him that Kindergarten is terrible, just that you think home school is better than public or private school and that you would like to teach him at home. I tell my kids that I home school mostly because it's fun and I love being with them! They accept that wholeheartedly.

[Jenelle]

My ds is 5 and goes to a preschool that we LOVE, three afternoons a week. He fully understands that when he is done in May, he will be homeschooling with mom and big brother. He's cool with that, he is already starting to do some "work" at the table with us anyway... But he's also just enjoying the preschool experience for right now.

He "gets" it. He really does. I think you may be surprised by how much your child is able to understand by the time he is kindergarten age.

My son knows that he will either be doing kindergarten home with us, or he will have to get on the bus and go to the elementary school all day, then ride the bus home. He wasn't interested in that option.

[Rivka5]

My 4.5-year-old daughter goes to nursery school 4 mornings a week, and we will be homeschooling starting in K.

We talk about kindergarten a lot, casually. "Some kids go to kindergarten in a building, and some kids do kindergarten at home with their mom and dad." "When we're doing kindergarten, we'll get to..." "You know what we can do when we're homeschooling?" "Yes, this package *is* for you - it's some of our kindergarten stuff." I'm trying to create a sense that she knows what will happen and that it will be fun and exciting.

I also told her teachers at the beginning of the year that we will be homeschooling, and that we hoped that when they did things to prepare the kids for kindergarten they would find a way to be inclusive of kids who won't be going off to school. They said it was no problem at all - kids from this nursery school go to all kinds of different programs, public schools, private schools, charter schools, an extra year of preschool somewhere else, etc., so they know that everyone won't be moving on to the same environment and they don't make assumptions when they talk to the class.

[akichan]

Great question! I have the exact same one, since my kids LOVE to go to "school", however, theirs is 2 days, 2.75 hrs/day, so really short and lots of social interaction, which they love. I'm having a hard time convincing them that staying home with mama is going to be just as fun!

:sub

[peachsara]

My son went to a MMO program, a 2k (2 day, 3 hours) program, and started a 3K program before we decided to keep him home. He absolutely loved going and never seemed to view it as a structured educational exerience - it was just alot of fun to him. We tried 3 different programs and still weren't happy and he never did really build friendships with the children.

He has been at home now since about October and had a very easy transition with it. When we drive by the church he used to go to preK at, he points and says "hey! that is my old school!" but isn't really bothered by it.

I think kids that young are built to deal with those kind of transitions well.

[Savoir Faire]

Here's my qualifications: My daughter went to preschool from age two to four (she's a late birthday, so most of the kids had already turned five). (2 days a week from 9 to 2 for the first two years and three days a week for age four).

My son has been going since 18 months to now (4 this weekend). No, it wasn't daycare, just a twice a week preschool. (2 days a week from 9 to 2 for two years and now 12:15 to 2:45 on tues/thurs).

My daughter is homeschooled now and I have never yet heard her ask why she's home. She views the kids having to go to school all week as something foreign because public kindergarten is definitely NOT the same as a few hours a week preschool.

I laugh at "kindergarten" readiness. I had three boys over today. My son has been in "school" since one (basically because I enjoy a little me-time and he's pretty social). One is in his first year of preschool at age four. The other is four and has never been to school.

All three were on the same page, "academically." My son wasn't spouting off equations while the other two were picking their noses. They all knew letters and numbers.

I can say I don't believe you have anything to worry about. He won't be confused when it is time to do homeschool and feel that it isn't rigid enough or anything. All you do is say "well little Bobby and Timmy go to school at the elementary school and you go here." If you know multiple kids who go to different schools, just say that everyone goes to different places and this is where you go.

You might want to check in with a local homeschool group to see if you could set up a preschool co-op. Perhaps get a bunch of mamas together at your place (or wherever) for "craft day" or whatnot.

Hang in there and try not to worry. Kids are pretty tough.

[AAK]

You are stressing too much!!! Seriously Time to relax. Sign him up for the preschool. He will love it, and if not, you can pull him. In our experience, the kids at preschool were rarely headed for the same kindergarten so they weren't expecting to go to the same place for school. And, since you said that it is a mixed age class, I wouldn't expect a lot of "next year in kindergarten" discussion in the classroom. Sure, he'll hear about it. He may ask about it. You just say that some kids will go to a building for school, but that he is lucky enough to get to do kindergarten at home. When he asks "Why?" you can be upbeat about the benefits of homeschooling without saying that the local school is evil. He will get to play more, go on fun outings, etc. How many kindergarten's have a kitchen to use?

One other thing. . .most preschools get out in June for summer break. That is enough of a break from "school" to not realize that you didn't get to kindergarten.

Amy

[Holiztic]

Originally Posted by AAK

You are stressing too much!!! Seriously Time to relax. Sign him up for the preschool. He will love it, and if not, you can pull him.

Thank you, people like me NEED to hear that often. I treat every decision like its life or death, really.

Thanks to everyone so far, you're helping a lot!!!

[luvmy2girlz29]

My dd went to pre-k last year 2 days per week for 4 hours and transitoned to hs'ing very well. She knew way ahead of time that we were going to hs so it wasn't a problem. She has no interest in going to ps even though most of her friends go. We do belong to a very active hs group and we've been part of the same mom's group for 3 years so she has friends that she sees on a regular basis. I'm sure he will be fine. Kids are very flexible.

Korrie

[greenmamapagan]

Originally Posted by Holiztic

Before anyone says it, I am looking into homeschool groups that are ACTIVE (really want to see the same kids 2x a week so he can build some friendships!) AND that include a number of preschool aged kids. No luck so far, but I'll keep trying--and no, I am not up to starting anything this year!

I just wanted to say that where we are, there aren't any groups that meet 2 x a week but all the various groups are really different overlapping subsets of the homeschool community. Thus if we were to go to say group a that meets weekly and group b that meets monthly and group c that meets fortnightly, most likely we would see some of the same kids at each group. Perhaps your community is similar?

[EviesMom]

We did preschool and pre-K for DD, then started homeschooling kindergarten. DS will do preschool for the next 2 years, but not pre-K. It's a sweet program, and I don't mind him being away from me for a play based program, closely supervised by loving teachers, for what will be 9 hours a week. It's the 35 hours a week, drill and kill, poorly supervised public school that I'm offended by!

DD did ask, since she did 1/2 day pre-K at the public school, why she's doing homeschool instead. I said I wanted us to learn things together, and I didn't want her to be away at school for so long. It helped that several times during pre-K, she asked to go back to preschool because "the teachers there really love me" as she didn't think the pre-K teacher loved her. For DS, it's just what he'll think is normal, so it shouldn't be too much of a problem.

[mntnmom]

DD went to half day preschool at 3, then 2 years of Waldorf-style kindy. There was a little confusion and sadness when she realized she wouldn't be going back to kindergarten, or moving up with her friends. She's homeschooling this year, and is very adamant that she does NOT want to go to school next year.
It was an easy enough transition for us, even after 3 yrs of "school".