please help me with weaning

[mizznicole]

I am at the end of my rope emotionally. DS turned 2 last week, and I am having HUGE aversions to him nursing. I am clenching my teeth and crying through feedings. I cannot stand feeding him any more. I feel overtouched and violated. I have traumas in my past that are surfacing with him feeling not like a baby anymore and touching me - I can't stand him touching me during the night. I have to wean and I don't know how. I just know that I feel like a huge mess and need help.

Thanks.

[BonnieLynn]

My Ds is 26 months and his baby sister is 3 mos. During my pregnancy with her it drove me mad to nurse him - and I really couldn't stand him touching my stomach for some reason. He is still nursing (and it's a little easier now that I'm not pregnant) but we cut down a lot while I was pregnant. The first thing we did was set a time limit on nursing - we would sing the ABC song 2x. Then we started nursing only before nap and at bedtime, for the same small amt of time. It really helped me to know that it would only be a short nursing. We didn't wean because the new baby was coming and I figured it would really throw him off, but I think we could have weaned relatively easily from just 2x a day. If you can handle it I think it's gentler to cut down slowly rather than all at once. I hope that helps some!

[LaughingHyena]

DS was about the same age when I started encouraging him to wean. We took it very slowly.

Anyway a few things which helped us were
Asking him to wait until I had finished whatever I was doing, gradually he would get involved in something else and forget about the milk.

Telling him he could have X number of sucks or singing a song to limit nursing time.

We also limited nursing to a particular place in the house. This really helped with not nursing away from home and with bedtimes. I would nurse downstairs then take him up to bed for a story. Gradually we just asked if he was ready for a story and the nursing fell away.

It was also around this time that he got to enjoy reading books, playing with playdough, drawing etc. All things which I could sit down and do with him

None of the strategies worked all the time and we didn't stick to them if they weren't working that day. When he was ill with chicken pox we went right back to non stop nursing.

It was a hard stage and some days I did feel really mean restricting him but I was really resenting the nursing and it was defiantly best for us in the long run to cut down

[welsh]

DS was 26 mos when he weaned. I'd already stopped nursing him to sleep a couple of months before because I was finding that he was rolling over and putting himself to sleep anyway.
Initially we made a 'special treat' of hot chocolate and a cookie at bedtime which he loved. Lots of books and I would say, 'no nips only books and lots of cuddles'.
Then he was still occasionally having 'nips' (his word!) if we were home for naptime but he was fighting the nap. So I'd try and be out at naptime so he'd fall asleep in the stroller. This was the summer! Now it's winter, nap is gone unless we're in the car which is rare.
The last nursings to go was nightnursing. I had become aware that I was waking him up with the 'promise' of my milk. So we talked about how much I loved him and would always kiss and cuddle him but nips were empty. Then one night he woke and I just repeated, 'no nips. just cuddles'.
He cried a bit but no where near as much as I thought he would. After a couple of nights he stopped waking. Now he sleeps 11hrs straight.

I know that it's hard to see how you can wean when they are so attached.
I knew I had to do it in order to be a better Mom in the day, I was so sleep deprived and grumpy.
Good Luck!