Not ttc but not avoiding either - Page 2

[MarineWife]

Originally Posted by allisonrose

But I'm hoping that the main thing I can let go of is worrying about when we have sex and how much in the fertile window.

Yeah, that's my thing, too. I'll always wonder if I'm pg if we dtd at any time in my fertile window. I also test early and often so I don't really stress about whether or not is late. The main thing for me is to not feel pressured to dtd at certain times. Wondering and waiting to find out if I'm pg is the fun part.

[jrabbit]

I like this topic. I'm 43 with 3 girls (10, 6, 1) - also with the strong desire to have another baby, but I know that it's probably not wise. I'm not so concerned about my own age as much as I'm concerned because I don't want to tandem nurse ... or stop drinking ... or worry about antidepressants and such ... and we would have to get a minivan ...

DD3 is 14 months old, and my cycle hasn't returned, but it was 15-18 months after DD1 & DD2, so I have no cause for concern at this point.

I kept really good track of cycles and DTD days for 6 years. The 3rd pregnancy was sort of an accident - we counted the days, but we were pretty drunk, and we counted wrong. (We were celebrating the selling of my business ...) We had been talking about "what if" and we both felt like it wouldn't be a big deal if it happened, so we played roulette and oops!

At this point, I don't think I'm entering menopause yet - my mom was nearly 50 when she did. I put a check on the calendar, though, whenever we DTD - just in case, ya know! I'm my most fertile in March/April, though Last year, I said DH needs to stay away from me those months, but it's not working out that way

--janis

[wholewheatchick]

I did a lot of thinking today, and DH and I talked again after dinner. I admit that part of the reason that we are not too keen on TTA is that we both hate barrier methods of BC and he refuses to pull out. So we'd be back to abstinence and although we held off till we got engaged, well, let's just say that wouldn't work too well when we don't have an imperative reason.

But here was what I was thinking: Yes, I'm only 22 (23 in a month). And we'll have been married 2 years in Oct., so even if we got pregnant this week, we will have had 2 full years before Jr. shows up. And honestly it's not even the "us" that I am concerned about losing; it is the "me." KWIM? Logistically, financially, and emotionally, we are pretty well set to have a baby. And thankfully, you do get almost 9 months to get used to the idea. I mean, as set as you can be without having actually done it! But we do have the resources to pay for a homebirth, and my graduate program is online, and those kinds of things are "good to go."

So really, all of the reasons not to have a baby right now, for us, will never change. The fact that I won't even be able to go to the library unattended for 12 + years, or that date nights are limited by baby-sitters' availbilities, is the same whether we get pregnant now or in 3 years. And the wonderful parts about having a baby...to hear them say "I love you" for the first time or discover what their favorite color is...those are the same now or in 5 years, too.

In short, DH and I are continuing with the "eh" method of family planning. Which means that DH continues in blissful ignorance and I end up stressing the 2WW and being super conscious of what days we DTD during my fertile time. Oh well. I can't go back to not knowing about my body. Which is something that most days, I am happy about.

[allisonrose]

Trying not to think too much about that my period is due in 3-5 days but it's so hard to ignore. In a way, I wouldn't mind more time till the next pregnancy (I have some weight hanging around that I'd like to get rid of). But I also worry that a "failed cycle" will bring back all those horrible feelings that I lived with for about two years.

Had a teeny bit of spotting last night. I'm prone to spotting so it really doesn't mean anything. I spotted before my BFP and before lots of AFs.

[MaryLang]

We are very happy about it! I wouldn't have had a clue about dates except my period started the day before an important birthday, and I had no idea when I O'd since I wasn't paying attention, but baby is measuring perfectly

[allisonrose]

Congrats, MaryLang!

Yup, spotting was a bad sign. Expecting AF to be full force tomorrow, maybe Saturday.
Hubby and I talked over how stressful TTC was the first time around and how we are going to attempt to getting pg less stressful. He wants me to mark on a calendar when I anticipate Oing so he's aware of what's going on. So I guess we're more trying than not....

[wholewheatchick]

Just wanted to update that I am moving back to the Charting to Avoid thread. I am set to start grad school in the fall and am finally getting back into my passion of natural resources and don't want to give that up yet. DH and did some more thinking and talking and realized that we are very happy with the way things are right now, with just the two of us and the cat. It feels complete, at least for right now. Good luck to everyone else!

[joyfulblessings]

We tried to plan, but well planning doesn't work well for us Our first and third were both surprises (1 bc and 1 condom and counting). We planned our second and were mostly abstinant () for the wait, but really needed to wait cause of lack of insurance and our ODS having 2 surgeries.
Anyhow, DH wants to wait but I am still bfing DD and so no clue and abstinance just isn't an option, lol. I am very much wanting to have tons of kids (8 or more) so I am perfectly happy just letting God plan our family. DH doesn't mind that, but he is more nervous, mostly because so much has happened recently that he is ready for a break from major life changes. So we aren't TTC but we definately aren't doing anything other than bfing an 8month old to stop it either. Since we see babies as a blessing we will be happy if we concieve and content if we don't