What are the "stages?"

[Harmony96]

I see people mention that they're in this stage or that stage or they've been in this stage for that long, etc. But what are the "stages?"

[Erlaine]

Every babe is different.

Lots of babies seem to go through strikes, especially when learning to be crawl, learning to walk, and when teething pain hits hard.

Don't expect your DS to hit any or all of the "stages" other babies go through. He'll do it all at his own pace!

Since babies grow and change so fast, I noticed that DH and I were referring to anything DD did consistently for more than a couple days could be referred to as a "stage." Right now she's in a lightswitch-fascination stage, for example. As opposed to her eating-and-destroying-NY Times-crossword-puzzles-fascination stage of a few months ago.

[accountclosed3]

i don't know.

i don't think of EC in terms of stages. I just notice his rhythms.

sometimes he signals a lot, sometimes not at all. usually, it's because of a developmental milestone or because i'm not paying attention. LOL

so, i can't say.

[Harmony96]

Well no, what I mean is I've seen people refer to a "stage" like being dry all day is "stage one" or something. Like it's a defined stage and you're either in it or you're not. I know that kid varies from kid, but it would just be nice to know what people are talking about when they say "stage" this, that or the other.

[Harmony96]

Like in this post, the person says "stage one (dry with my help)". That's what I'm talking about. What are the other stages?

Here's a few more posts that mention "those" stages but don't have any elaboration and I can't tell from the context what is meant.

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...e#post14967938

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...e#post14956809

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...e#post14885019

[accountclosed3]

yeah, i have no idea what they are talking about.

could just be the way that those individuals think about it.

[hrsmom]

Phase 1: Staying dry reliably with mom's help
Phase 2: Signalling rather consistently, needing occasional reminders
Phase 3: Independence in going potty
Phase 4: Self sufficient, including wiping


I like it because I can really appreciate where my daughter is, rather than wishing she would signal more, or whatever. (Yes, I used to wish she would signal more. Silly Mommy!)

[accountclosed3]

yeah, but see, my son moves between phases one and two, and sometimes even does 3 on his own (more or less, goes next to the potty by himself then comes and tells me).

so, for me, it's really not about stages and whether or not he's succeeding on a schedule or at all.

i just don't see it that way.

it's cool, though, that it works for others. LOL

[Harmony96]

Originally Posted by hrsmom

Phase 1: Staying dry reliably with mom's help
Phase 2: Signalling rather consistently, needing occasional reminders
Phase 3: Independence in going potty
Phase 4: Self sufficient, including wiping

Ah ok, great! That is exactly what I was looking for. But they will only help me to realize what is being said if others talk about it, and it won't apply to my family. Even my 3 year old goes between all four of the stages and even sometimes is in stage zero, lol.

[JMJ]

I read in another PTing book some different "stages."

Stage 1: nighttime bowel control
Stage 2: daytime bladder control
Stage 3: daytime bowel control
Stage 4: nighttime bladder control

When I read that, I thought it was pretty rediculous since DD completed stages 1 and 4 in quick succession, and I fully expect her to complete stage 3 before stage 2. I guess those are stages for normal PTing. It's different for EC. I like the other stages listed here better, but it makes me feel better when things aren't going so well during the day to remind myself that she's already got it down at nighttime.

[hrsmom]

Those "stages" are interesting! Babies are born with all of that control! Doesn't mean everything goes where we want it to, but they do have that control and it develops as they grow, like everything else. Another reason to love EC!

[JMJ]

Yeah, hrsmom, I think those are pretty rediculous, and you're right. Babies do have all that control. They just can't hold it as long as you or I can. I think that by "control," this particular author meant that all eliminations of the particular type end up in the toilet during the particular time frame, but control is probably not the best word for it.

[hrsmom]

That makes sense! I was kind of wondering....!!!! My brain is super foggy right now, which doesn't help! My dd (now 21 months) can hold it longer than I can! It's crazy!

[mamatobe08]

Originally Posted by hrsmom

My dd (now 21 months) can hold it longer than I can! It's crazy!

Haha same here, DS holds it like 3-4 hours during the day and I can barely go 2--and the few times he's gone 8+ hours overnight--I can't do that either!

[sapphire_chan]

I thought the point of the stages was that when your kid got to stage 1 you could tell people s/he was "potty trained" and at stage 2 or 3 you could send them to a non-ECing caretaker without diapers?