harmony - i think that's okay. we learn a certain vocabulary and sort of ritual through our early experiences, and we may feel most comfortable with it, even if our beliefs change. the traditional practices may still resonate within your heart, and if you are following them in a way that is in harmony (ha!) with your beliefs, i think it's great, really. my mom, for example, was raised catholic, then lapsed. she has recently started attending again, even though she is pretty much a universalist and doesn't think the sacraments are necessary - the rites and the liturgy speak to her spirit, and she has reconciled that with her own faith. for her and for you, god has always been present, even when you learned those faith practices with bases you may no longer accept. when you engage in those practices, you are engaging with god, who has always been with you. you can, therefore, do these things, sing these songs, make these movements, and so forth, with a deeper meaning now, because of the growth you have made, spiritually. does that make any sense? like, i sometimes find myself mentally singing or even actually humming some very christian songs i learned in high school, when i went with some friends to an evangelical church. things about jesus dying for our sins, and so forth. and while i don't think i ever actually believed that particular doctrine, i *was* "filled with the holy spirit" when i sang them - the experience of god was very, very real. so i no longer fight the songs, even if the words themselves do not mean what they once meant to me. they take me back to rich spiritual experiences, the essence of which was god-centered, and i imagine they always will.