I've been reading this thread tonight, and just have some randomness to throw out here that seems to apply to a few different things that've been discussed:
I attend a United Church of Christ congregation. It is not a be all/end all perfect match for me (I am a little more orthodox in my beliefs), but I'm discovering that there probably is no such perfect church for me. I do enjoy going there, and it is a very welcoming community (with incredible music variety and quality, we have two top-notch colleges in town that draw some very musically talented people). The denomination is very accepting, doubt and questioning is not frowned upon, social justice certainly is a big focus, and its motto is "God is still speaking." It is what we call "in full communion" with the Episcopal Church amongst others.www.ucc.org
As to your marital issues of a spiritually divided household, the apostle Paul, in his first letter to the early church at Corinth, discusses spiritual/marital discord a bit. It hardly sounds like divorce is on the table for you, and I mean absolutely no disrespect to your lovely son, but I want to give the full verses here:
"To the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is consecrated through his wife,
and the unbelieving wife is consecrated through her husband. Otherwise, your children would be unclean but as it is they are holy. But if the unbelieving partner desires to separate, let it be so; in such a case the brother or sister is not bound. For God has called us to peace. Wife, how do you know whether you will save your husband?
Husband, how do you know whether you will save your wife? Only, let everyone lead the life which the Lord has assigned to him, and in which God has called him. This is my rule in all the churches." -- 1 Corinthians, chapter 7, verses 12-17
Also, a Psalm of King David, dealing somewhat with how a person's new faith in God can affect an otherwise non-believing family:
"Hear, O Lord, when I cry aloud, be gracious to me and answer me! Thou hast said, 'Seek ye my face.' My heart says to thee, 'Thy face, Lord, do I seek.' Hide not thy face from me. Turn not thy servant away in anger, thou who hast been my help. Cast me not off, forsake me not, O God of my salvation! For my mother and father have forsaken me, but the Lord will take me up....I believe that I shall see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living!" --Psalms, chapter 27, verses 7-10;13
Jesus himself also said this to his apostles as he sent them out to preach:
For I have come to turn a man against his father, a daughter against her mother,
a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law - and a man's foes will be the members of his own household. --Matthew 10:35-36
The point is:
a. you have to follow Jesus fully
b. if you do, you may have to fight your own flesh and blood
I wish you the best of luck in finding a church home, a loving relationship with God, and peace in your family.