10 month old having tantrums/melt-downs

[filiadeluna]

My baby is 10 months old today, but she is starting to act like a toddler already. Lately she's been having major meltdowns for no apparent reason, as well as throwing tantrums (kicking legs, screaming, etc) when I won't let her having something that is dangerous or just not something a baby should play with (i.e. trying to grab the laptop cord, or chewing Mommy's cell phone).

Isobel has always been very "high needs" - since day 1. She can also be the most adorably pleasant, smiley, happy baby when she really wants to be. When she was younger, if nothing else would calm her down, The Boobie (as I call it) was always the magic solution. Now sometimes when I try to give her The Boobie she gets even madder. It hurts my feelings, and also makes me feel helpless.

Instead of always saying "no" when she can't do something, I try to explain things to her, i.e. "That's not a toy.", "That's not food", or "That's dirty/yucky", "Don't pull Mommy's hair, that hurts!", etc. I want her to learn early on WHY she can't do things rather than just "NO" or "because I said so", kwim?

I know it's a bit difficult for her to understand at this point. While I want to continue Attachment Parenting, I don't want to end up being permissive to the point where she gets her way even when it's not what is best for her. I don't want to end up with a toddler that walks all over Mommy and then won't behave for Daddy or anyone else. *sigh*

Obviously I don't believe in physical punishment, and I don't believe in yelling either. I try as hard as possible to keep a calm, yet firm voice when I tell her not to do something. She is too young to do time out, and the more I read about it I'm not sure that time out is so healthy, either.

HELP!

[HeliMom]

My DD is only 9 mo old but I can relate a bit, Some things that have been working for me are:

the exchange, "you cannot have mama's phone but here is a teether that is similar in weight and texture"

the distraction, I'll make odd noises, (clapping in rhythm or rasberries) then redirect to a new activity,

I'll carry her, hip back or front what ever helps ease the tears.

The one that works best is the quick calming walk outside. (but it's not always an option) "When I get upset, I like to take a walk. Want to walk with Momma?

I also explain instead of saying no. For my own sanity I also say things like "I understand you are very upset and I'm glad you are trying to tell me how you feel. Momma would like to help you feel better. How about this? " maybe too wordy for kids but it re focuses me into remembering how it would feel if I was in her position. Saying it outloud really helps me to put it in perspective. Especially when she howls/cries to the point of gagging on her little tears, and not even the almighty booby helps.

[nukuspot]

subbing...I have a 9 mo old with exactly the same issue right now. I'd love to read more replies to this thread.

[Everrgreen]

I actually posted a similar question on the toddler forum! My DS just turned 1 and is starting to have 'tantrums'. Really it's more just him getting frustrated because he can't get to or have something and he will scream and get MAD! If it is something he needs help with or something he can't reach I have been trying to teach him to sign please (moving his arm, demonstrating my self, saying 'please' outloud, then helping him/giving him what he needs). If it's something he is not allowed to have I will say why he can't have that and then distract him with something else. Also if it's something he can't have I will put it away if that's possible. I only have one response so far on my thread, but the poster reminded me that he is still young and doesn't have all the skills to communicate his needs and wants. It isn't really a tantrum so much as it is him communicating with me in the only way he knows how. So my goal is to teach him a new way to communciate (that doesn't involve screaming!)

[starlein26]

At this tender age of HIGH curiosity meets LOW cognition (it's the high curiosity that later leads to high cognition btw)...it's all about the art of redirection. And forethought, if possible. Like removing attractive items so baby doesn't feel too frustrated. I also like to help my children be "safe" or "careful" with certain items under my supervision. Jokes or silliness also help ease tension...
(we're going through the same thing here, as little dd is also 10 months! )