Help needed with 3 year old and baby on the way...

[angrypixiemama]

No flames, please. I know I should have worked harder on this before, but....

DD is just over three. She has never been a good sleeper, and the only way she would sleep for over an hour is to be in our bed with us. We have a queen size bed tucked against the wall in our smallish bedroom. Currently, DD sleeps next to the wall, then me, then DH. Even at three, she still wakes two or three times a night, either with dreams, or wanting to play, etc. As a wee one, she would nap for 15 minutes and then be up for 4 hours.

We have her crib in our room, converted to a toddler bed, which she does not like to sleep in. In the bedroom next door to ours, we have a full bed that she does like sleeping in, but only if I am with her.

We have a new baby on the way very soon, and I am at a loss as to what to do. Every time I have tried to transition her out of our bed, something has come up: illness, oral surgery for her, night terrors, etc. I know that some will think I have spoiled her, and perhaps I have, but I just never felt right moving her out at times when she was already upset or ill.

Any ideas on helping her adjust to the new baby that we will also most likely cosleep with? Can I even DO that in a queen size bed? I know it is not realistic to transition her out of our bed before baby comes....should I try DH cuddling with her instead of me? Any help is appreciated. Thanks.

[lotus.blossom]

I know you said your bedroom was small, but is it possible to move the queen and the full together? That way there is enough room for everyone?
Or perhaps your husband can sleep with her in the double so that you can have room with the new baby?

My ds was about 2.5 when we really started moving toward him sleeping by himself. Before that I would go to his room everytime he called for me. I spent most night in the double bed with him. When I got big and pregnant we would just tell him no, that he is fine and that he has to sleep on his own. He eventually got it and it was a wonderful relief for me. He sleeps so well now. But there are some nights that I wish I could crawl in bed with him to escape the teething 8 month old!!

[calgal1111]

What kind of talks have you had with DD? When we were trying to get DD now 26 months to sleep through we told her what we wanted her to do. I certainly wouldn't make it about the baby but about her and now you want her to sleep in her bed. I also made it a point to come to her when she was sick or what not because sometimes you still need to co sleep but doing that in her bed will reenforce her sleeping in her bed.

I would get rid of the toddler bed. My little co sleeper hardly did the crib and I knew a toddler bed wouldn't work for us. Besides it is really good to have a mattress that a parent can sleep on or help calm an upset child.

And definitely get DH involved ASAP it should feel just as normal for her having you or him put her to bed and go in once and a while. We started that and what a burden off of my shoulders.

And good luck with this and your new bundle of joy!

[angrypixiemama]

Thanks everyone. We have had talks with DD, about how she is old enough to be in a big girl bed. We have a full size for her that we call her princess bed, because it is an old four poster that she really likes. Last night she was fine until about 3 in the morning, which is progress. I tried to have DH soothe her when she wanted to crawl into our bed, but she really got upset at that point. We will try again tonight. I have thought about somehow trying to squeeze all the beds in one room, so that is a good idea, too.

[lovingkindness]

Hi Mama,

I'm in a similar situation. DD will be just shy of three when the new baby arrives in March. She is nowhere near ready to leave our bed. Our arrangement is a little different because she currently sleeps between DH and me.

So I had planned on getting a fill sized arm's reach and putting it on my side of the bed, but after reading some posts here I decided to try sidecarring DD's crib, which she never slept in. Te main reason is because with the co-sleeper there doesn't seem to be a way to get the baby at the exact same level as you - there is a little rail that would prevent snuggling.

Anyways, I followed the instructions here http://www.freewebs.com/sidecarcrib/index.htmand am VERY pleased and excited about the results. It's basically like extending the mattress to make one big happy family bed

So maybe you could try getting her used to sleeping in the middle? If you already have converted her crib to a toddler bed it should be easy to sidecar it. You'll probably need to raise the crib mattress, though.

Good luck!