I could really use some advice.
My 9yo daughter, otherwise healthy, has been having toileting problems for over a year.
They get better for a while, then worse, and I've thought several times that we're out of the woods, but then it recurs.
Her basic situation is that she has BM in her underwear, and then either changes in her bedroom and leaves the BM in her room, or changes in the bathroom and leaves soiled towels. Sometimes she does not flush, and occasionally I realize that she hasn't washed her hands. The bedding is often soiled.
This doesn't seem to happen at school or outside the house; at home sometimes I'll see her with her hands in her pants and have to remind her to use the toilet.
The pediatrician and child psychologist both diagnosed constipation. We've used Miralax as prescribed with no noticeable change in her symptoms. I don't think her problem is constipation (I didn't visit the psychologist because I was at work during the appointment; dh went, or I would have made this point to her). I occasionally use the restroom with her (in a restaurant or at church, for example, never at home) and I've never, ever seen or heard anything from her that seems like constipation. She just has regular bowel movements.
I tend to think her problem is behavioral - it has some clear behavioral components, IMO. ie, leaving toilets unflushed, leaving soiled towels in the bathroom, leaving BM in her room.
I've tried rewards for using the toilet, at the psychologist's suggestion; no changes. I've tried setting clear goals for her (no soiled towels in the bathroom and all soiled garments in the hamper, for instance) with moderate success. We've had a really, really stressful year and IMO that's part of her problem. I've tried just talking with her gently, but nothing I say seems to help. She won't talk about it at all.
I'm so sad and frustrated that I can't help her. She's a great kid. She's bright and funny and does well socially, she loves school, she's basically happy and well-adjusted. But I am out of ideas.
Any suggestions, wise mamas? I could really use some help.
My 9yo daughter, otherwise healthy, has been having toileting problems for over a year.
They get better for a while, then worse, and I've thought several times that we're out of the woods, but then it recurs.Her basic situation is that she has BM in her underwear, and then either changes in her bedroom and leaves the BM in her room, or changes in the bathroom and leaves soiled towels. Sometimes she does not flush, and occasionally I realize that she hasn't washed her hands. The bedding is often soiled.
This doesn't seem to happen at school or outside the house; at home sometimes I'll see her with her hands in her pants and have to remind her to use the toilet.
The pediatrician and child psychologist both diagnosed constipation. We've used Miralax as prescribed with no noticeable change in her symptoms. I don't think her problem is constipation (I didn't visit the psychologist because I was at work during the appointment; dh went, or I would have made this point to her). I occasionally use the restroom with her (in a restaurant or at church, for example, never at home) and I've never, ever seen or heard anything from her that seems like constipation. She just has regular bowel movements.
I tend to think her problem is behavioral - it has some clear behavioral components, IMO. ie, leaving toilets unflushed, leaving soiled towels in the bathroom, leaving BM in her room.
I've tried rewards for using the toilet, at the psychologist's suggestion; no changes. I've tried setting clear goals for her (no soiled towels in the bathroom and all soiled garments in the hamper, for instance) with moderate success. We've had a really, really stressful year and IMO that's part of her problem. I've tried just talking with her gently, but nothing I say seems to help. She won't talk about it at all.
I'm so sad and frustrated that I can't help her.
She's a great kid. She's bright and funny and does well socially, she loves school, she's basically happy and well-adjusted. But I am out of ideas.Any suggestions, wise mamas? I could really use some help.
) Our other medical expenses are more pressing, unfortunately.
