I think I might be here

[Mary-Beth]

I think I'm about to become a single parent.

My dh seems interested in someone else.
What do I do now?
We've been together 15 years- married 10years. We have a 7yo, 6yo and 1yo and I stay at home/homeschool. What do I do?? I'm scared. I'm loosing my closest friend in the world, my family, I have no job.
What is going to happen?

[Theia]

I'm sorry you are going through that.

My path to single parenthood is quite different. In your case I would suggest legal advice. Even just a 10 minute phone consult to get you started and clear some of your questions as to what you should do next would be good.

As for what will happen next, you and your DC will make it. You just find a way even in your moments of greatest struggle. Be sure to reach out to your support network. I am so sorry, that must be truly hard for you.

[pranamama]

depending on your finances, I would say to get youself and if you can afford it your children into counselling, after you talk to a couple attorneys and choose one you prefer

[meemee]

you are going to go thru stages of greiving. you will be sad and angry and frustrated and life will not seem fair.

financially no matter where you are - something will work out.

depending on how you guys work things out - you might not be able to continue with homeschooling and your children might have to go into dc.

you will go thru many ups and downs. it might take you a long time to recover - years even which is normal and then one day you will realise you are making it.

for nght now figure out your support system.

[sunfish21]

I am just a few months into the process and will echo pp--a support system and a lawyer are top priorities. You will need both, I would guess. I understand that some people are able to do a divorce w/o legal help but I would not go that route if you have the financial option to avoid it.

Then again, you wrote that he "seems" interested and you "think" you are about to become a single parent. Have the two of you talked about this? Is counseling an option?

[wytchywoman]

The PP's offered the same I advice I was going to give. So just thought I would send some really big your way.
Would your DH be at all interested in counseling to try and work things out?

[Mary-Beth]

Thanks...I don't know for sure how things will work out. I'm going to try for some counseling and see if there is anything we can do. However, he acts fine and wants me to be fine with him having an emotional affair (and possibly physical?? but definitely an emotional one) I'm not fine with it.
I have so much to figure out though since just getting a job isn't easy-- it would mean finding a school and transitioning my kids into that-- finding day care for the baby-- going from nursing at the breast to pumping???(he is 1.5 and I am hoping to go at least until 2yo) All changes that I don't even want to make but would do it out of necessity.

I guess I just need to know others out there have done it and manage. Especially other SAHM's who end up in this situation. I don't want to loose my kids because he has the earning power (provide house, food, etc. ) and I have a degree in social work and the pay is a struggle.

Thanks for the support.

[blessingscome]

Definitely talk to a lawyer.

[Learning_Mum]

What is he doing exactly? I mean, I know you said he's having an emotional affair but how is he going about it? Does he consider it an emotional affair or does he just think they're good friends?

Sorry if this is asking for too much information, I just want to be clear with what's going on, cos from your posts it sounds a bit like he doesn't feel like there's a problem.

[josybear]

i was a sahm when i left x. things worked out. i'm in school now. the thing is, don't panic. take a look around and find your resources and opportunities. your degree is valuable and you won't lose the kids for financial reasons. in fact, everything is going to be fine. not today and not tomorrow, but eventually. you can do it.