Sleep Deprivation... How to deal?

[cdmommie]

My dd will be 10 months in a few days and she has NEVER slept through the night. In fact, until last night, it had been nearly 4 months since I got more than 20 minutes of sleep in a row! I had my hubby take her for 3 hours last night because I was beginning to feel like I might go literally crazy. She is up EVERY HALF HOUR. I just have the urge to put her in the crib and leave her all night, screaming or not. As it is right now, I put her in the crib for the first couple of hours (for mommy-daddy time). When she cries I go nurse and/or rock her and put her back. Then she comes to our bed when we are ready to go to bed. She wakes every half hour from then on out to nurse/scream/play/ect.

I just CAN'T take anymore of this. Seriously, I am freaking tired. I am just on edge all day and I flip out at the littlest things. I'm angry a lot. I'm just tired

How do you deal with sleep deprivation? If I leave her in the crib longer and let her cry, will she start sleeping?

I dealt with sleep deprivation with my first baby, but not for 10 months!!! And even after 10 months there is still no sign that she might sleep more any time soon.

It's not teething, She eats plenty, and it has never ever been any better so I don't know what to do.

[treegardner]

DS has not STTN ever either. Have you read The No-Cry Sleep Solution or The No-Cry Nap Solution? We've done some of the techniques and even though DS isn't STTN, it did help him take better naps and sleep for longer stretches.

[Norasmomma]

Plain and simple make DH help more often.

Does she take a bottle of pumped milk? My DD was up quite a bit and many times DH had to take her because I was soooooo tired and it made me emotionally unstable(just like you described). He'd give her a bottle of milk, and be up with her at 4 am-that was my worst time, I just was a friggin wreck.

I hate to say it, but she's and still up a couple times a night. Most of the time she falls asleep, but not always. DH sleeps with her half the time, ugh.

[ktmama]

My first question would be about her health. Have you had her checked for reflux? Have you had her checked out by a chiropractor? Waking that often doesn't sound within the range of "normal". Is she fussy because she's sensitive to something you are eating? That's where I'd start if I were you.

In the meantime, you definitely should get some help from your dh. She doesn't need to eat every half hour - maybe it's time to try some gentle night weaning - feed her only every two hours or so? Just throwing some ideas out there....

I remember feeling something like this with dd2 and when I finally did formulate a plan for modified night weaning, it really helped to write my plan down and have it in front of me so I could stick with it when the going got tough at night - you know, when you are looking for ANY short term solution and lose sight of your long term plan.

[lifeguard]

Are you able to nap during the day? Can she go longer stretches during the day without you so you can get a nap alone (for me that was a big deal) for a couple hours so you can feel a little more human?

Ds has not been a good sleeper overall. I didn't think I was ever going to get to sleep a night again & was at my breaking point. At 14 months we decided to nightwean & it has made a world of difference - we are all sleeping more plus I'm not the only one who can settle him in the night now. Your dc is still young but maybe like pp suggested you could do a modified nightwean of only bfing every 2 or 3 hours & all other wake ups you shush or rock or pat dc (or dh does).

I feel for you - it sucks so bad to feel like that all the time. I hope you can find some sleep soon.

[Kiwiontheloose]

Agree with norasmomma - the only thing that gets me thru sleep deprivation is having DH help. He sometimes takes over for a chunk in the early morning - eg straight after a feed sometime around 2 or 3am I put DD back in the sidecarred crib - if she will tolerate this, and seems settled DH and I swap places in the bed and he deals with any wakings with the next few hours. If she won't settle for him (if she's had a feed in the last hour or so she will usually go back to sleep with patting etc) I take over again.
Then - when she wakes at 6am DH gets up with her and I get to sleep in until around 7.30. This is what gets me thru - even if I'm awake most of the night I can look forward to that wee slot of lovely sleep.
Hope it gets better for you.

[JMJ]

Would she sleep longer if she had a boob in her mouth? Would you be able to sleep if she was nursing?

[Louisep]

Agree with PP to check into all possible medical causes for waking.

I have coped with frequent night waking (4-10 times) by having dh take ds for one hour weekday mornings and 2 hours weekend mornings. I also try and nap with ds - at least rest with him. I keep us busy in the day so I don't concentrate on how tired I am.

Hugs.

[annekh23]

There are a lot of ways to cope with sleep deprivation, but they are usually based on the assumption that sleep is lasting longer than half an hour. I think you've done extremely well to survive so long, but half an hour all through the night is not normal.

I'm all for meeting a baby's needs, but a sleep deprived baby is not having her needs met, I find it hard to believe she's not sleep deprived if she's waking up that often.

Unfortunately I don't have any answers, other than don't do nothing, don't just suck it up and go one and try and cope.

[JayJay]

Could there be some kind of food allergy here? When I was small, I was like this until my Ma and Pa found out that I was allergic to milk... Take away the milk in her diet (since she breastfed) and lo and behold, I slept. "They" say that one of the best ways to figure out if a babe is getting enough sleep is to gauge whether he or she is sleeping for at least two hours after a good feed. If she's never sleeping for two hour stretches at this age, is she really completing a proper sleep cycle?

You're clearly not - since it takes us a full two hours to go through a sleep cycle. I'd maybe check out allergies and intolerances, and whether she is getting enough to eat. I'm no expert, but that's where I'd start.

*HUGE hugs* - I hope everything soon turns around for you, mama. XxxX

[jenmn]

I second the suggestion to check out the possibility of reflux issues. Could be silent reflux like my oldest had and she typically slept in 20 minute increments until we got it under control.

[ScootchsMom]

I'm in the same boat here with my 8 month old. We're going to the pediatrician tomorrow to try to get some help. I'm going on 4 hours of broken sleep a night, almost every night, with little chance to nap during the day and its taking it toll. Huge

DS is refusing to nap for more than 30 minutes during the day, fights bedtime, wakes frequently and NOTHING has helped. We even resorted to trying to let him CIO, against all my better judgment, and it didn't work. (no flames please, I hated it, it was a last resort for a VERY sleep deprived mama who almost fell asleep driving last week) Actually, I think it made things worse, he now hates his crib with a passion Than, no matter what time I get him to sleep, he wakes at 4 am, where it used to be between 5-6 am. Friday morning he woke at 3:30 am and wouldn't take a nap until almost 12, than only for 30 minutes.

Sorry to ramble, I just want you to know you're not alone!

[kfillmore]

I am with you. I have a 10 month old too. I am so tired. I am really feeling angry all the time too. I thought it was because I am full-up-to-here with anger at DH for not helping more/understanding more. Today I had to force him to watch her 100% so I could nap 1/2 hour.

we co-sleep which keeps me from having to get out of bed.She wakes up ALOT to nurse/suck and lately to toss and turn. DD only naps 1/2-1 hour a day. I am trying to get in the habit of going to bed with her early but it can be hard.

anyway, i am just writing to say i know!!!!! Sometimes I think the stress is going to shorten my life!

[cdmommie]

treegardner, I have not read the no cry sleep solution, but would like to soon!

Originally Posted by Norasmomma

Plain and simple make DH help more often.

Does she take a bottle of pumped milk?

DH does SOOOO much already. I mean he is the best husband a mama could ask for I can't take anymore out of him. He helps with the household stuff, works full time (and overtime) and puts DD1 to bed, so DD2's sleep is a mama job. And she won't take a bottle at all. He has walked her around occasionally so I can rest when I am just totally out of energy, but other than that she pretty much screams at him if he tries to help at night anyway.

And on the note of reflux, allergies, ect:
She did have reflux when she was itty bitty so I may try her meds again and see if that helps. We saw an allergist and an ENT 2 weeks ago and they did an allergy test so we will have results next week. They also want to put tubes in her ears, but let me try some medication first to see if we can avoid it. We Go back to the ENT to check her ears again in 2 weeks so if the meds haven't helped she will be getting tubes. Perhaps all the fluid behind the eardrum is what's keeping her up?

And yes, we are both sleep deprived. She is tired and has saggy eyes and I am just exhausted. I had her sleep in her crib last night and she did a little better in there actually, so I may keep her there. I miss her though In her crib she went to sleep at 7:15 and woke at
9:30
10:30
11:30
12
12:30
3:30
4:30
5:30
7:15 up for the day

and today she napped for TWO HOURS STRAIT in her bed! and is alseep again now. Maybe there is hope.

I have to say that the two times I got more than an hour and a half of sleep was just amazing! But of course, literally getting out of bed that many times was awful... so I don't know.

and another thought: do you think it's possible to get her to take a pacifier this late in the game? she took one off an on for a day here and there. But really won't take it now. Maybe it's worth trying harder at

[marispel]

If she has an ear infection then that is probably what is keeping her up. Are you giving her Motrin at night? Has the dr. prescribed antibiotics yet? What about homeopathic ear drops?

[ScootchsMom]

The ear infection would definitely be a possible cause, as would reflux or allergies. You've got your bases covered, now to just wait for the answers

Just to let you know what happened with DS, I took him to the ped yesterday afternoon and they diagnosed it as GERD, he has all the symptoms of silent reflux I guess. We started him on Prevacid last night and it helped almost immediately. He only woke 3 times last night, instead of every 30 minutes, he slept until 5:45 instead of waking at 3 or 4 am and he napped twice today - 2 hours in the morning and 1.5 hours this afternoon.

[woodchick]

How about sidecarring the crib to your bed. DD2 is 10mos and wakes a few times at night, but I'm getting so much more rest now that I don't have to get out of bed to tend to her.

[Kiwiontheloose]

agree with side-carring suggestion also.
her patterns do sound a lot like undiagnosed reflux. our dd was like that until we got losec for her, and introduced a paci..
it can't hurt to try a paci... if it is reflux, they are great for keeping the acid down, and if it buys you an hour more sleep then great!

[Kiwiontheloose]

agree with side-carring suggestion also.
her patterns do sound a lot like undiagnosed reflux. our dd was like that until we got losec for her, and introduced a paci..
it can't hurt to try a paci... if it is reflux, they are great for keeping the acid down, and if it buys you an hour more sleep then great!

[ellasmomma]

I have a 10 month old as well who has never come close to sleeping through the night. I was so sleep deprived that I started having hallucinations and finally went to see a therapist because I really thought I was going crazy.

Things are a bit better now. My son still wakes just as often, but I guess I don't fully wake with him. I have him co-sleep with me and I just let him have the boob in the mouth as long as he wants. He will stir and I put the boob in and we both sleep.

I don't know if this is the best thing to do, but its the only thing that's worked for us.. I couldn't do it like I was before (I would wake up fully, sit up and nurse him).

I really hope you are able to get more sleep soon. I haven't slept uninterrupted for longer than about 2 hours in 10 months, but Im much more functional now, with how we work it.