DH caught 4yo DS playing 'doctor' - WWYD?

[busymama77]

Yesterday, we had 4 kids over for DS's b-day party. There was one girl there out of the 4 kids and this little girl also goes to school with DS - in the same class and all. He loves to chase her around at school, hold hands and really just be her friend.

But yesterday, DH went upstairs to round up the kids for present time and he caught DS looking up the little girls' dress. She was wearing tights and she wasn't tell him to stop or seemed upset about - she flat out didn't know it was happening, but regardless, DS became embarrassed and told DH to leave and go back downstairs. DH did and told me to go get the kids but didn't say why. They all came down once I called for them w/ no problem.

DH seemed a bit taken back by this and really didn't know what to say. He was a little embarrassed himself. We know that this is a phase. They are going through the 'married' phase of their preschool days, but should we talk to DS about what happened or just move on? If we do talk to him, how should we approach the subject? Any BTDT's that would like to share?

[Cavy]

His curiousity is normal.
But closely inspecting someone else's bits is a bit rude/intrusive/impolite. Although it's no worse than saying "Ooh! Look at that fat lady!" in a very loud voice. You just need to talk calmly about why he can't do things like that. Would he like people to snoop at his bits? Etc.

Maybe get an anatomy book out of the library and show him what the girl and boy bits look like, how they work, how they are different and how they are same (you can probably skip anything to do with reproduction at this stage, just wee and poo disposal will fascinate the heck out of him).

[Gentle~Mommy :)]

It's nothing, I wouldn't give it a second thought.

[Kailey's mom]

It's normal

[amcal]

It's odd to me that this made your husband uncomfortable and embarassed enough to tell you about it but he allowed his 4 year old to tell him to leave them alone and your husband did as he was told, leaving your son and this girl alone?

I think it's perfectly normal behavior but, I can not imagine walking in on something my child was doing to another child that made me uncomfortable and allowing my child to tell me to leave the room - and then leaving.

[claddaghmom]

Originally Posted by amcal

It's odd to me that this made your husband uncomfortable and embarassed enough to tell you about it but he allowed his 4 year old to tell him to leave them alone and your husband did as he was told, leaving your son and this girl alone?
I think it's perfectly normal behavior but, I can not imagine walking in on something my child was doing to another child that made me uncomfortable and allowing my child to tell me to leave the room - and then leaving.

I think it's normal and also a great opportunity to talk about manners. A 4yo should be learning not to look up someone's dress.

I wonder if your DH's attitude about sexuality in children is why your 4yo showed shame and told DH to leave. That's a bit of negative awareness there...

[busymama77]

Originally Posted by claddaghmom

I think it's normal and also a great opportunity to talk about manners. A 4yo should be learning not to look up someone's dress.

I wonder if your DH's attitude about sexuality in children is why your 4yo showed shame and told DH to leave. That's a bit of negative awareness there...

No, not necessarily. DH startled DS when DH asked him what he was doing. DH didn't express how he felt to DS at the time, he simply ask him to stop and that's when DS asked him to leave. When DS wouldn't listen to DH, that's when he asked for my assistance. This is his first encounter of something like this with DS and was taken back. I believe it's perfectly normal and has nothing to do with DH's attitude.