Getting out with twin toddlers - need your tips

[4Marmalade]

I actually used to get out quite a bit when they were younger. Yes, it was a little bit of work being organized and lugging them around but it was manageable and even a little bit fun. Now at 19 months I find myself staying home so much more and dreading the times when I have to go out. For the most part we arrange errand time between dh and myself so that someone is home with the kids or else we all go out together.

I have to remind myself that they're not being deprived by not going to the grocery store but I want to be able to take them out here and there without worrying so much. They are turning into little people with opinions . They have started with the "tantrums" and meltdowns. They want to walk everywhere but still fall down a lot. If they're beside each other (in a grocery cart) I am not guaranteed they will not start biting each other or pulling hair. It's also winter so going out here means bundling up which is a whole other matter. I'm hoping the spring will be much easier but I could use some tips for when that happens.

I thought I was a fairly seasoned mom having two older dc's but two toddlers at a time is kind of scary .

[Red Pajama]

At that age, If I went shopping, I put one in the sling on my back and one in the cart. I also had a twin umbrella stroller, and I could put them both in it and put the shopping basket on the handles for small shopping trips. The stroller is also how I managed the library on my own.

Sometime around two years I also created two "leashes". I used a small clip purchased at the hardware store and braided two leashes, about 12-18 inches long. These were attached to the parent's belt loops, and the kid holds the leash. It's more comfortable than holding a hand, but because it's completely voluntary, I didn't use it when crossing the street, or other hazardous situations. Because it's a clip, it can also be attached to a shopping cart.

I also got a big double stroller sometime after the twins were two. I should have gotten it much sooner, as it made exercise walks easier. I felt much more mobile with that stroller even after the newest one was born.

[Intertwined]

Bah, I wish I knew. As you know, my twins are 20 months and it's been hell taking them out lately. Ben flat out refuses to sit in the stroller and starts screaming in 5 minutes but he won't walk nicely and runs full speed away. There is plenty of back arching, crying, screaming, hair pulling, and biting just to make it fun. Someone broke my back carrier so I'm thinking I need to get it fixed and then he can ride. Between them and Izzy (who just turned 3) I am ready to stop going out as well.

[DeerMother]

For grocery shopping, we do the double cars in front of the cart. My favorite store doesn't have those so I do one in the cart part and the other in the actual child's seat. For very short trips where I don't have to carry anything or library story time they walk and we hold hands. If they refuse to hold hands we go back to the car. For some trips I use the duo glider but if it is much over 15 minutes I need to find a place to let them stretch their legs before getting back in to the car. Lack of that can cause meltdowns. I always take snacks, sometimes they'll sit a few minutes longer if they have something to munch on.

[obxbound]

Thanks for asking this question. My boys are 11 months and we are out all the time. I'm very interested in hearing others tips as the start being more and more mobile and expressing their opinions.

[lexbeach]

I wore my twins in two mei tai carriers (one on front, one on back) for a looooong time. Until they were nearly three!

I also think it's helpful to just make sure you get out everyday. Practice is how you will gain confidence and learn the tricks specific to your kids. Make a list of child-friendly destinations (museums, libraries, parent centers, LLL meetings/other parenting support groups, pro-kids cafés, friends' houses) and assign each destination a day of the week.

You can do it!

Lex

[wondertwins]

I agree with many of the suggestions already given. I don't leave the house without 2 different choices in snacks, they work to keep the peace and distract. I also have DD in the seat of the cart and DS in the space designated for groceries. The actual groceries go underneath the cart, as DS will toss items out of the cart if within his reach. I started feeling like a shut-in early on and needed to find ways to get out of my house, usually alone, as DH works full time, so the Chariot stroller has a lot of miles on it. When they were infants, I would just go for walks around town with no destination. Once they were mobile I would take them to a park and maybe since I started when they were slow and uncertain on their feet, it's a comfortable place for us to go. Now at 2 1/2 they have 3 scheduled events a week, playgroup, storytime at the library and swim lessons. I try to take them on an outdoor outing everyday, the park or river (and yes it's cold and snowy here, but again we're talking about my sanity!!). I think that if you make getting out part of your routine you'll naturally become more comfortable with outings.

[4Marmalade]

Thanks for the responses. I do have a double stroller but it is not easy to use in all the snow. I have carriers but I find them awkward to use in the winter. I have a coat, baby has a coat, hat, mitts and then when I get into the store it takes a few minutes and they're getting overheated and then I have to take them out and start all over. Bah....just so time-consuming you know?

I think a big part of it is that ds has started melting down over everything lately and while that is something I can handle I get a little freaked out thinking about both of them melting down at the same time and me not being able to handle it.

I really think the nicer weather will help but that's still a few months away. I still go out to a child drop in centre every couple of weeks, LLL meeting once/month and friends houses but those are all child-friendly and once I'm there I have help.

Intertwined - Sounds like a very similar life. Glad I have company

[~bookcase~]

I avoid taking them both out at the same time too

When I have to I wear dd on my back and put ds in the trolley/ pushchair as he is more mellow despite being the walker. Dd screams blue murder when she's not happy about something - biggest character I've ever seen in a 14lb body

[hergrace]

I find it harder as the trips get older. They are 2.5 now, and I will only take them to somewhere that I know is contained and that I can supervise them from somewhere that I can see the whole area since they head off in three different directions. The child-friendly places like you describe have been the focus of when we get out for the last year.


We haven't used the stroller for over a year since they hate it, but we use our wagon all the time when the weather is warm. They have become quite good at holding hands for short walks, but letting them let go of my hands can get pretty scary, so we still only try it in very safe areas.

A lot depends on your kids. All of mine are runners, so I am quite protective and only get out to the places where they can really run or need to be closely supervised with other adults to help. They are improving and my husband and I can now take all 4 kids on walks that needed 4 adults a year ago. My guess is that a year again from now, I will be able to take them on winter walks by myself.

So, patience and practice. It is really hard to get over the mental block of how much work it is to bundle them up. Have you started teaching them to get their own coats on by flipping them over their heads? We got that started at 18 months and it really helped me feel better about getting them bundled up.

[Intertwined]

I think there are quite a few of us on here with twins/trips at about the same age/stage. Like Kate, I have runners and that's changed things since the twins got super mobile. Ben and Izzy run, Claire lags behind investigating every speck on the ground. It's a bad combo I'll suffer through the next year with ya Mama, and then hopefully we'll be getting past this phase. I am moving back to Dallas so I don't have to deal with the winter cold.

[4Marmalade]

Originally Posted by hergrace

It is really hard to get over the mental block of how much work it is to bundle them up. Have you started teaching them to get their own coats on by flipping them over their heads? We got that started at 18 months and it really helped me feel better about getting them bundled up.

This is so true. Every weekday (2x a day) I need to get all 4 dc's ready to walk the 5 minutes to the bus stop. It is exhausting and takes about 30 minutes by the time it's all said and done and we're back home. EVERY SINGLE TIME I do it I think "this is crazy". There has to be a better way. But really, we've already thought about it and there isn't . The older two get themselves ready and dd2 is really quick but ds2 no longer wants to go outside and getting him ready is a pain. I've had to force him into his jacket, taken him out without hat, mitts or boots (he keeps taking them off) because I NEED to get to the bus stop or they won't let dd1 off the bus. Ugh....sorry.....this is just a sore spot with me. Today was a freezing rain day with no school buses. On one hand I have 4 dc's home but on the other hand I don't need to go to the bus stop .

[hergrace]

Originally Posted by 4Marmalade

This is so true. Every weekday (2x a day) I need to get all 4 dc's ready to walk the 5 minutes to the bus stop. It is exhausting and takes about 30 minutes by the time it's all said and done and we're back home. EVERY SINGLE TIME I do it I think "this is crazy". There has to be a better way. But really, we've already thought about it and there isn't . The older two get themselves ready and dd2 is really quick but ds2 no longer wants to go outside and getting him ready is a pain. I've had to force him into his jacket, taken him out without hat, mitts or boots (he keeps taking them off) because I NEED to get to the bus stop or they won't let dd1 off the bus. Ugh....sorry.....this is just a sore spot with me. Today was a freezing rain day with no school buses. On one hand I have 4 dc's home but on the other hand I don't need to go to the bus stop .

The bus stop drives me crazy, too. Luckily, DH is able to take DS1 to the bus stop in the morning. I haven't found a safe way to walk the 3 little ones to the bus stop since it has been too cold for the wagon, so I drive the 2 blocks in the afternoon. It drives me crazy. I could manage it if I knew what time the bus would arrive, but there is a 15 minute window when I need to be waiting just in case the driver is as earlier as he has been twice. I just can't keep them warm enough and safe at the street corner for 15 minutes.

[Intertwined]

Oh Kate, I'd shoot myself if I had to keep the twins and Izzy safe on a STREET CORNER for 15 minutes. For sure.

[aja-belly]

Originally Posted by Intertwined

I am moving back to Dallas so I don't have to deal with the winter cold.

my twins are just recently mobile (cash just started crawling and fox just started walking) and i'm having flashbacks to when marvel was 1 and jet was 2. with them i either kept them in the stroller the entire time or i went somewhere (with no agenda of course) that was complately enclosed. running errands just didn't happen unless they were in the stroller. we did snacks/toys in the stroller. gosh. 20 months is a tricky age. so "independant" in their mind but so unreasonable! closer to 3 it gets alot better trying to bargain with them.

needless to say i will be reading this thread closely.

[hergrace]

Originally Posted by Intertwined

Oh Kate, I'd shoot myself if I had to keep the twins and Izzy safe on a STREET CORNER for 15 minutes. For sure.

When it's warm enough to sit in the wagon, we all walk to the bus stop and then they sit in the wagon and have a snack, which works really well.