Your DC who is most similar to you -- easier to handle, or harder?

[LuckyMommaToo]

Whew -- hard to sum this up in a subject line!

A friend and I were discussing this. My 3 y.o. DD is very similar to me, personality-wise, while my 6 y.o. DS is more like DH. I find it much easier to deal with DS in terms of discipline, finding creative solutions to things, etc. Which is surprising!

I figured that if a kid were just like me, I'd know what makes them tick. But DD and I mostly just butt heads. However, she and DH get along fabulously.
Just wondering if this is what others have experienced.
-e

[Ruthie's momma]

I don't know...I think that DD is very much like DH while DH thinks that DD is very much like me.... Either way, DD is a very easy going little person.

[Kailey's mom]

My dd and I are so much alike, except for sleep schedule!!! I dont' know if its' easier or harder because she's my only child. It pretty funny how she knows me as well as I know her though..

[LynnS6]

Ds is less like me and more like a combo of dh and my brother, and I find it easier to deal with him. Dd is very much like me, and she's definitely the one I butt heads with more. The things that set her off, set me off, and that's a bad combo. That being said, I worry about ds more.

[artgoddess]

DS is 6 and is much like his dad, he's my easy child. My DD is 2.5 and I sometimes refer to her as a tornado with feet. She's fiercely independent, just like her mom and is a major challenge at times.

Like Lynn, I worry more about DS when he gets older. He is such a people pleaser, I fear what could happen if he was to befriend others who took advantage of those qualities. My DD on the other hand, will tell someone to stuff it before she compromises herself.

[major_mama11]

DD is so much like me in a lot of ways, and overall I think I have an easier time dealing with her than my DH does, because I really get what makes her tick. When she randomly bursts into tears over something DH sees as minor, for example, I'm able to be more compassionate with her, since I was very sensitive as a child too. However, when we butt heads, we REALLY butt heads.

DS, at 8 mos, is very much like DH at that age, according to MIL. Very self-assured and independent, already entertains himself for longer periods than his 4-year-old sister...

[MaterPrimaePuellae]

DD is a lot like me-- she is stubborn, emotional, confrontational, talkative, very creative (which translates, at this age [um, and at my age, too], into a lot of messiness and hard-to-direct energy), and loud.

I generally have an easier time with her than my husband does (he is basically the opposite of both of us, except also stubborn -- hooray ). I know that my mother (calm, methodical, non-confrontational) had a harder time with me than I have with DD.

So, it's hard for me to say. If I did not share so many of her personality traits, I think I would find it VERY hard to understand her at all....but even understanding her motivations/feelings, it is still pretty hard for me to cope with the CONSTANT talking/fidgeting/questioning/etc.

Oh-- and we're both very impatient-- that is probably the worst overlapping trait. Every morning, for example, the first thing she asks is,
"Have I had my vitamin gummies yet?"
"No, you'll get them with breakfast."
"Well, I would like to have them now."
"Well, you'll get them with breakfast, please don't ask again."

And it basically goes on like this every morning while I'm making breakfast. She's impatient to get her gummies, I'm impatient because-- seriously-- do you have to ask the same question every morning??!!, and we just feed off of each other.

The good thing is that I can work on improving the shared traits in myself, and that helps me in dealing with her and (hopefully!) in setting a good example. In theory

[_betsy_]

DD1 and I have butted heads since the very beginning. We're very similar personality wise, except she's more extroverted and hates to sleep (and I LOVE to sleep!).

She's been difficult for me since, well, forever. But Dh has very little trouble getting her to work with him - and he has her while I WOH FT, nights.

DD2 - super easy child. For me. Not so much for DH.

[Porcelain Interior]

I get along better with the daughter that's like me, but she's much more draining than my other daughter, who is quiet, but way stubborn and she's got my mother's rigid rather hang out with dog's than people personality.

[MJB]

My youngest is more like me and I get sooo exasperated with him.
My oldest isn't much like me, and we get along really well. He's very easygoing and sweet. Sometimes I just don't "get" him though.

[broodymama]

My 3.5 year old DD1 is very like me, and it's challenging right now! Sensitive, moody, temperamental, intense, yikes! It's like butting heads with a little tiny version of myself. She's the hardest for DH to handle too, it could just be the age combined with the sensitivity.

[Apple Girl]

DS1 is very like me - methodical, rule-oriented, people pleaser. So we get along quite nicely, because we like to make each other happy and do what we're "supposed" to do. He is like DH in that he won't do something though if he doesn't see the sense in it, but you can explain the reasons behind things to him and he'll work with you most of the time (when possible - I mean, he's still only 3).

DS2 is much more like DH - likes to buck authority just to prove he can, stubborn, spirited. He's also fairly precocious/intelligent, so he learns quickly what he can and cannot get away with. He's also not yet 2 years old, so some of that could just be normal toddler-hood.

I find it easier to handle DS1. Even when he is tantruming that something is not "just right", I totally understand where he's coming from... I too would freak out as a kid of my socks had a wrinkle, or if my pants were slightly off-center. So I get it, and it doesn't bug me to help him fix things.

DS2 is more of a challenge, because he's not fully verbal yet (although he's getting there), and sometimes he gets raging MAD without me knowing why. As he learns more words, though, I find I can better see where he's coming from. But I still think he's more of a challenge, mainly because in some ways he's SO like DH that I often just don't "get it" when he's mad.

I do find it amazing, though, how different two kids with the same parents can be!

[swisscanmom]

My ds8 is very much like me. I don't find him easier to handle, but I seem to "understand" him better, I "get" him, kwim?
My dd6 is not like me or dh. Dh says she is a lot like his sister, very stubborn and independent. She tends to give us the silent treatment instead of talking to us and telling us what is wrong, which drives us both crazy, lol...
They are both very different, but luckily between the two of them they get along really well.

[sunnmama]

My 9 yo dd is more like dh is personality. My 3 yo ds is more like me in personality.

Both of us found dd to be the more challenging child ages 0-3! We'll see if that changes as ds gets older. Dd is pretty easy now that she is older, and I can see lots of room for ds being more challenging at 8-9 yo.

[Katwoman]

Surprising to me, I have a harder time with my DD1 who is so much like me. Mostly I struggle with seeing the traits in her that made my life so much harder than it needed to be. I don't want that for her. I really get her on a level I wouldn't if I wasn't the same way and that is really cool. But it's really hard to see her with these traits.

[VisionaryMom]

There's definitely head-butting between the like pairs in our house: DD/DH and DS/me. OTOH, I find with DS that I understand him much better and so it makes it easy to help him with problems. I can do what I'd like done, and it works. With DD, I often try what I think is a good idea, and she gets upset with me!

[Julie1014]

DS is exactly like me (but more so!) and that can make it both easier and more difficult. When we are both upset, DH has a better chance of getting everyone calmed down. However, when we are in-sync, DH feels a bit left out b/c we are working so well together.

[Aubergine68]

We have a dd who is like me, a ds who is like my dh, and a little "wildcard" ds.

I think they are all equally easy to parent, given the different stages they are at.

[beanma]

My dd1 is more like my MIL! My dd2 is more like me or DH or just herself. I do find dd2 easier, though I love them both to pieces. Truth be told, though, I think everyone finds dd2 easier (teachers, grandparents, etc).

[akwifeandmomma]

My oldest is more like me, and we clash. Both strong-willed, stubborn, and independent.

My DS2 is more like his dad; mellow, easy-going, laughs things off. I find him easier to get along with.

DD is a spitfire, but at just 2, I can't quite pin her down yet. I think she tends to be a little more like me, but very funny/easy-going like her dad...