Your DC who is most similar to you -- easier to handle, or harder? - Page 2

[Alyantavid]

My 7 year old is more like me. And we do clash while he and dh don't.

Of course, my youngest is 3 so he's a handful right now too.

[pixiekisses]

My two 6 yos. and my 21 yo. is very much like me, and my dear, we're very much alike in so many ways all of us. And I think that's a lot easier than the 4 yo. and the 11 yo. which I'm not always sure how to handle. The 11 yo. is somewhat similar in some things, but totally different in others. The 4 yo. is just different, all the way, and sometimes I just look at him and wonder how to handle that (and what alien brought him ).
So yeah, absolutely so much easier with the ones that are like me.

[mommy2two babes]

My DD is just like me in so many ways.
I always thought before that I would have an easier time dealing with her but DH is honestly better with her ( I guess because he is good at dealing with me) We butt heads alot.
The opposite is true with DS. I have more patience for him than DH does.

[laohaire]

Very interesting question.

I have only 1 child. She is very much like her father. But the stubborness, I don't know if she gets it from me or DH because we're all very stubborn, sigh. (As are all her grandparents, now that I think of it).

Besides the stubborness, the parts that I have the most trouble with are actually the ones that I feel I can't relate to, that she takes after DH on. But that's not a totally fair thing because she really takes after DH on most things, so some of those parts I really enjoy. But we're very different in terms of what activities we like to do (only recently we found a common interest: board games), she is obstinate to the point where if you ask her to do something she'll do the opposite just to spite you (DH does that too, and it drives me nuts with him as well; I may be stubborn but I don't do the opposite just for spite), and she likes to tease (I am an only child and had no siblings to tease me, so I'm not used to it I guess, DD is an only child but she and DH tease each other and me). She is also not at all anal, which is a really good thing, but it's just something else that makes us different. Oh, and she likes to shock people. I don't, and don't find it amusing, and don't understand it.

Honestly I think it would be easier for me if she were more like me! But maybe I'm just kidding myself!

I think for the most part it makes sense if you get along well with the kid who is like your partner. After all, you get along with your partner enough to partner with him/her, right?

[mata]

I see myself in both my almost 10 year old and 6 year old-and we get along very well.

[savannah smiles]

Originally Posted by Katwoman

Surprising to me, I have a harder time with my DD1 who is so much like me. Mostly I struggle with seeing the traits in her that made my life so much harder than it needed to be. I don't want that for her. I really get her on a level I wouldn't if I wasn't the same way and that is really cool. But it's really hard to see her with these traits.

This describes my feelings towards dd1 very well! And even though I "get" her, it doesn't always mean I can deal with the situation well.

DD2 I find very, very easy. She's certainly more like my dh than me. She's easy going and tuned into body language and tone (unlike my oblivious dd1) and likes to make people happy. My dh has a hard time with her and dd1 so he just can't catch a break, lol!

[Owen'nZoe]

DS1 is more like me than DS2, and I find there are very different challenges with each. In general, I have an easier time with the child who is more like me, but I worry a lot about being too hard on him. Because I feel like I know him so well (and because he is the older child), I sometimes ask more of him than I should. He's very laidback, and I know he'll go along if I ask him to, and it would be very easy to take advantage of that quality. Also, sometimes I underestimate him because I feel like I know him so well that I project a bit. For example, we're both a bit shy, and I had a very, very hard time making friends when I first started school because I was scared of everybody. It was a (very happy) shock to me to see just how gregarious my son was at school, and how quickly he made friends.

With DS2, my challenge is standing my ground when I need to. He is very persistent. Very.

[Kuba'sMama]

Ds and I are two peas in a pod; quiet, introverted, emotionally reserved, organized. We've had a special bond of the start, I "get" him. I understand his frustration when things are not "perfect". I am able to give him space when he is upset (we're both famous emotion display/hug averters).
My dd is my dh (who is my mil). While I love them both dearly, often I am just bewildered and exasparated by their behaviour. Everything ds and I are not; emotional, cluttered, expressive, in-the-moment-worry-about-the-consequences-later type of people. Definitely easier to get a hug from though! But a LOT more tears and general "emotion". And a lot less method to their madness
Variety makes the spice of life though and I wouldn't want 3 little clones of me, that's for sure (would make for a rather dull, predicable household I'm afraid

[water]

Originally Posted by Kuba'sMama

Ds and I are two peas in a pod; quiet, introverted, emotionally reserved, organized. We've had a special bond of the start, I "get" him. I understand his frustration when things are not "perfect". I am able to give him space when he is upset (we're both famous emotion display/hug averters).
My dd is my dh (who is my mil). While I love them both dearly, often I am just bewildered and exasparated by their behaviour. Everything ds and I are not; emotional, cluttered, expressive, in-the-moment-worry-about-the-consequences-later type of people. Definitely easier to get a hug from though! But a LOT more tears and general "emotion". And a lot less method to their madness
Variety makes the spice of life though and I wouldn't want 3 little clones of me, that's for sure (would make for a rather dull, predicable household I'm afraid

I can totally relate to this. My DD is just like me, stubborn, loud, difficult, headstrong, persistent, and I can totally relate to where she is coming from even when she is driving me mad. I understand what she needs and how to calm her down and I don't have to react the way she does 99% of the time because I have learned to deal with myself by this point and can help her deal.

My DS is so different from me, and I have such a hard time feeling sympathy or understanding toward him when he is being difficult. He shuts down, won't talk, won't react, is stubborn and I react badly to him in difficult situations. I try really hard and when I am on the top of my game I can deal fairly well, but it involves a lot of energy on my part.

The funny part is that my DD is considered the "spirited", difficult, hard-to-handle one by the rest of the world, but for me, she is much easier.