Need encouragement on BFing my next baby.

[NotBroken]

Hey everyone.

I am in need of a little encouragement. It is kind of sad for me to even think about formula feeding this baby, especially since I know the benefits of nursing and breastmilk, but I just don't know if I can do it again.

First, I have HUGE boobs. I am 14 weeks pregnant and they are falling out of a 38DDD. My nipple is a bit lower on the breast than most women with a smaller cup so I have to hold my boob up so it doesn't smother the baby. I know many lactation consultants who say this is impossible, but I can tell you, it is possible. Because of this, when I breastfed my son I had to hold him in the reverse cradle every time which wasn't ideal. He was never able to nurse side lying.

The second thing that bothers me is the fact that I can't find a good supportive nursing bra that will fit me. (Key here is SUPPORTIVE) It is so hard to be discrete when you have to pull your arm out of your sleeve, pull your bra strap down, lift your shirt and nurse. I am picky about my bras and breast shape in my bra anyway - and they just don't offer the support I need.

And the biggest problem for me, is that I got my period back SO stinkin' early with my son even though he was EBF. I think I bled until 7 weeks, then started my period at 9 weeks. My period ended up stealing what supply I seemed to have at the time, and I fought every single month to keep my production up to no avail. The week of my period I was only able to pump .5 to 1oz every 2-3 hours so I ended up having to supplement and then when I would be period free I would spend that entire time trying to make up for what I lost. It was an emotional battle until I finally couldn't take it anymore and sadly switched to formula after 6 months.
I have a 2-3 year old this time around, and I just won't have the time to devote to trying to keep up like I was able to before.

Another thing, I have seen my SIL's babies who were formula fed sleep through the night by 4 months old, and sleep 6 hours at a time. Wake up, take their bottle, and right back to sleep. Since I wasn't able to nurse while lying down, I was up feeding every 2 hours and then sometimes it would take him an hour or more to go back to sleep.

I hated the thought of using formula with my son. I worked long and hard, through bleeding and scabbed nipples to be able to breastfeed him just to have it all stolen by the time we had both caught on. I just don't know if I have the energy to go through this again. At least if I knew I wouldn't have supply issues, that would help a bit, but then there are a slew of other problems like I had with my son that I worry about too, like allergies, colic, large breasts that I hate, etc.

Thank you if you have gotten this far.

[lalemma]

I'm sorry you're having a hard time, mama.

I have giant boobs, myself! Is it theoretically not supposed to be the case that you have to support your enormo-boob so it doesn't cover the baby's nose? I'm glad nobody told me that or I would have worried endlessly. (I definitely support my breasts while nursing!)

My son and I are not great at side-lying nursing. We're still practicing, but in the meantime, here's how we do nighttime feedings instead: we do family bed, and I leave a backrest pillow in the bed up at the headboard. I then scoot down the bed a bit and sleep "below" it. At night when my guy needs to eat, if I can't manage side-lying nursing, I just sit up with him, grab the Boppy from next to the bed, and feed him sitting up. I totally zone out while doing this, he's an efficient eater, 15 minutes later we're asleep again. I find that so long as I keep everything quiet and don't turn on any lights, and just cuddle him close as soon as we lay down, he doesn't really wake up that much.

Bra-wise, these nursing bra people have been recommended to me over and over again, and have a huge range of sizes: http://www.birthandbaby.com/

I know you'll get tons of encouragement from other ladies on the sleep and supply issues, but also - maybe you don't have to think of it as all-or-nothing right now. Even SOME breastmilk is awesome for your baby. Maybe you could just think to yourself that you're going to try to nurse for the first 6 weeks and then see how it goes?

I hope you get the support you need to feel more optimistic!

[guestmama9971]

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[NotBroken]

Originally Posted by lalemma

I'm sorry you're having a hard time, mama.

I have giant boobs, myself! Is it theoretically not supposed to be the case that you have to support your enormo-boob so it doesn't cover the baby's nose? I'm glad nobody told me that or I would have worried endlessly. (I definitely support my breasts while nursing!)

My son and I are not great at side-lying nursing. We're still practicing, but in the meantime, here's how we do nighttime feedings instead: we do family bed, and I leave a backrest pillow in the bed up at the headboard. I then scoot down the bed a bit and sleep "below" it. At night when my guy needs to eat, if I can't manage side-lying nursing, I just sit up with him, grab the Boppy from next to the bed, and feed him sitting up. I totally zone out while doing this, he's an efficient eater, 15 minutes later we're asleep again. I find that so long as I keep everything quiet and don't turn on any lights, and just cuddle him close as soon as we lay down, he doesn't really wake up that much.

Bra-wise, these nursing bra people have been recommended to me over and over again, and have a huge range of sizes: http://www.birthandbaby.com/

I know you'll get tons of encouragement from other ladies on the sleep and supply issues, but also - maybe you don't have to think of it as all-or-nothing right now. Even SOME breastmilk is awesome for your baby. Maybe you could just think to yourself that you're going to try to nurse for the first 6 weeks and then see how it goes?

I hope you get the support you need to feel more optimistic!

Thank you so much for your post. I LOL'ed when I read about the enormo-boob because I totally understand that!

I have a question about night time nursing for you if you don't mind. Do you burp your baby at night? I tend to have an oversupply in the beginning and I also had a baby with a sensitive tummy so I always had to make sure he was burped or he would be sick or miserable later. I think that is what roused him awake more than anything.

Also thanks for the advice on the bras. Have you tried any of them yet?

[TulsiLeaf]

Originally Posted by NotBroken

Thank you so much for your post. I LOL'ed when I read about the enormo-boob because I totally understand that!

I have a question about night time nursing for you if you don't mind. Do you burp your baby at night? I tend to have an oversupply in the beginning and I also had a baby with a sensitive tummy so I always had to make sure he was burped or he would be sick or miserable later. I think that is what roused him awake more than anything.

Also thanks for the advice on the bras. Have you tried any of them yet?

Hello!

I am another enormo-boober myself. I am not even 5 feet tall and my milk jugs where a 36F when I was nursing in the first few months. OMG! I had one boob that was MUCH bigger than the other and my daughter preferred it. So it got bigger! I did learn how to how to side nurse, but I couldn't do it until she was big enough to lay on her side by herself. I think that was about 4 months in and then OMG, heaven! But here is what I did.

I would prop myself up in bed so that I was slightly reclining (reclining makes the boobs not so heavy and big on babies face) then I would nurse her in the football hold. I only could do the football hold in the first few months because of my c section. but let me tell you, it was SO much easier until she learned to sit up. And she always preferred it anyways. I would cradle her shoulders and her head so I would be able to guild her head to boob, not the other way around. I made it easier to pin her arms down (ooooooo, pesky little swinging arms made nursing hard sometimes!). But I would put a pillow underneath her and behind her. I made like a little snuggle nest for her. It is hard to explain, I wish I had a picture of it! It was ingenious! One of those 4am frenzied feeding inventions. But it worked and if I fell asleep, she was safe and couldn't move and neither could i.

But I want to say this about your fears. This baby is different. You are different. You are an experienced mother and you have do overs right now. The thing about breastfeeding is that you can psych yourself out, big time. I had a pretty rough time getting established (a NICU stay for my daughter and they gave her tons and tons of bottles and formula) but when we got home it was something I wanted SO bad. As long as there is nothing wrong physically with you, you can nurse. It's getting over that mental barrier and fear you have from your first. I think that one thing we do is that we constantly compare ourselves to others, compare our babies to others ( your baby is not your SIL's. And there are MANY formula fed babies who wake up all hours of the night and MANY breastfed babies who sleep through the night. My daughter was one of those. She slept 8 hours from 4 weeks on.) our parenting choices to others. It doesn't matter. What matters is what makes your kid healthy, what makes you happy and what gives you peace at night. So thinking about why your kid doesn't sleep like your SIL's kid just does you no good. It doesn't make you happy. There are probably things she does that just make your jaw fall on the ground. No one is perfect and I would rather have a healthier, well adjusted and cared for baby than someone who sleeps through the night ( not saying your SIL's kids aren't those)
BUT! This is what you have on your side right now, TIME! You have until Sept to get lots of information together, get help, contact people who will support you, and lots of time to get excited and pumped about nursing your new little baby. You have plenty of time to figure out different things you can do to help up your supply when your period comes back, plenty of time to talk to other mothers. And if you go into it this time with all this information and knowledge and support, if things happen the same way, then you know it's something that you need help on. And if you have to use formula to help you out, use it. That is what it is there for. You aren't just choosing formula because you can't be bothered, you are using it for it's intended purpose.


So chin up, Mama. You have time.

[lalemma]

Originally Posted by NotBroken

I have a question about night time nursing for you if you don't mind. Do you burp your baby at night? I tend to have an oversupply in the beginning and I also had a baby with a sensitive tummy so I always had to make sure he was burped or he would be sick or miserable later. I think that is what roused him awake more than anything.

Also thanks for the advice on the bras. Have you tried any of them yet?

I haven't, yet! My guy came early, and life has been a hectic whirlwind since then, sigh. But I hear that they have a great return policy (they encourage you to order lots of bras so you can try them on and see which one fits, and then return the rest.) so when I get it together, I'm totally checking them out.

As for burping- I do try to burp him, but honestly I'm a bit cavalier about it. When he dozes off at the boob at night and I decide that he's done, I lift him up against my shoulder and pat his back gently for maybe 30 seconds. If he burps, great. If he doesn't, oh well. For some reason he rarely burps at night, though. I think maybe he "gulps" less at night when he's half asleep...? Anyway, it doesn't wake him up. So I'm probably not a very useful source of info on that one.

[Youngfrankenstein]

As a mom wearing a 34J, I think I qualify for big boobs! I always nurse cross-cradle. I can hold my breast and baby can latch better.

I rarely side-lie nurse, it's not restful for me because I have to pay too much attention.

I also have oversupply and only nurse one side per feed with 1 or two burps.


ETA: Bras....I end up buying the same kind everytime. It's a Fancee Free. Great support! And the price isn't crazy.

About the sleeping through the night. There is NO guarantee that formula will help baby with this.

I have an 8-week-old, my 4th baby, and she sleeps, on her tummy, in her crib for 5-7 hour stretches.

[Rosegin]

I too have large breasts (44H). With my first, I could only use the football hold for the first 4 months or so. I do mostly cradle hold now, though.

One thing I recommend is to ignore all the advice to position your baby in the crook of your arm. It's impossible with very large breast. My baby's head rests on my forearm. When they are tiny, I use the other hand to support the breast. When side lying, the key is to angle the baby, feet closer to your body than his/her head. This prevents the breast from squishing into his nose. I don't usually nurse lying down for the first couple of months, though. I just prop myself up in bed and use a boppy.

On to bras. I haven't bought any nursing bras this time around. Mostly because I didn't have the money and they're always so ugly. There aren't any pretty ones in a 44H! lol I just lift up my regular bra. I've found that taking the breast over the top of the bra isn't quite as discreet as I'd like to be. I have heard good things about the previously posted Birth and Baby website, though.

Young babies are not supposed to sleep through the night. They are supposed to wake frequently. It is thought that waking frequently is one of the reasons that breastfeeding helps prevent SIDS.

You can breastfeed your baby!