DD not excited about the baby... what to do?

[smokeylo]

I've been trying to talk to DD about the baby coming and she seems pretty unexcited about it (she's not quite 2). I keep asking her if she's excited to be a sister or if the baby can come and she keeps saying NO!! We've had books and I've talked up the whole sister thing but she seems pretty unenthused. Could her anti-baby psychic energy be keeping this baby inside?? I feel like I've failed at this and now I don't think I have the time/energy to make it ok in a matter of days, kwim??

[lalaland42]

mama

I think you should just let her be and have any emotions she needs to have. She is still very young and she probably doesn't know exactly what it means to have a younger sib. No worries, she isn't keeping the baby in, it just isn't time yet. I know those last few days are hard, just try to relax and trust that everything will work out.

[paxye]

I wouldn't worry at all... At that age I wouldn't even think much about it... my first two were both 26 months when their baby brothers were born and they were the same as you were describing... it wasn't real at all until the baby was there... especially because we didn't have many other people around us with new babies, so the idea was really "out there"... after the baby was there, they both reacted according to their personalities...

This is the first time that the current baby in the family realizes what is happening and it was only when he saw videos and felt the baby move that it started becoming more real to him... he is just over 3 now...

[MeepyCat]

My two year-old was really unexcited about his baby sister while I was pregnant. I think it just wasn't real to him, and he couldn't get his head around the concept (which challenges many of his fundamental beliefs regarding himself and the location of the center of the universe).

If anti-baby psychic energy kept babies in, I think I would still be pregnant. As it is, she's four months old and her big brother is quite fond of her now that she's here.

[Cativari]

DS just turned 2 and he's more or less unaware. He "knows" where the baby is but doesn't seem to care unless we ask him where the baby is. Then he'll point to the tummy and kiss it but I don't think he gets that there's going to be a new little person here though.

[smokeylo]

Thanks, this is all good to read. My thinking all along has been that it's pointless to try and explain such an abstract concept to such a young kid, but now that I'm 5 days past my EDD I guess I'm searching for explanations. I appreciate it.

[Gray's Mommy]

Originally Posted by MeepyCat

I think it just wasn't real to him, and he couldn't get his head around the concept (which challenges many of his fundamental beliefs regarding himself and the location of the center of the universe).

This describes my youngest exactly. He will be three in 8 days!~

[gabeyho]

I agree with the PP's. She's just too little to really grasp what you're saying. My youngest is 21 months next week and totally oblivious. She thinks it is funny when the older kids tell her there's a baby in mommy's belly, and due to her age and one of her all-time favorite words at this age being NO, every question put to her about the baby is invariably met with NO.

Are you excited to have a baby? NO
Are you going to be nice to the baby? NO
Should you be mean to the baby? NO
Do you want to hold the baby? NO
Are you going to be a big sister? NO
Do you want some cookies? NO


you get the pic! IME they warm up to a new baby pretty quick, once the baby FINALLY gets here.

[smokeylo]

Originally Posted by gabeyho

due to her age and one of her all-time favorite words at this age being NO, every question put to her about the baby is invariably met with NO.

you get the pic! IME they warm up to a new baby pretty quick, once the baby FINALLY gets here.

That totally sounds like Robin. Thank you!

[momtoS]

My dd1 was 2.5 years old when dd2 came around. She was excited when the baby came.

I also had a *Happy Big Sister* party. I brought her to the bakery...let her pick any cake she wanted...and I had a playdate with my friends and their children and called it a Big Sister party. She was very excited about her party. And people got to see the little sister....

[JayJay]

Oh Lord, before Bella arrived, DSS did everything he could to pretend I wasn't pregnant and that there'd be no baby. That and acting out, regressing and everything else made me VERY worried.

BUT, since she's arrived, he's been over the moon about her and always is coming up and giving her kisses and saying how cute she is.

I mean with a 2 year old (same age as I was with my brother) there's likely going to be some sibling rivalry as they get older: that's normal. Also she will probably go through periods of being excited, then being pissed about the baby taking her spot. Again, normal. But, likelihood is that she will brighten to the idea of baby very shortly after the little one is born - and you'll see lots of cute behavior from her
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