Providing care for biting/hitting toddler when my toddler doesn't bite/hit (yet!)...

[MissRubyandKen]

I've been offering to provide care for a family member's toddler. There have been many troubles within the family. Mom and dad no longer together, both have said they don't want the toddler in front of her, the toddler has been hit and yelled at, etc. Right now her grandma has her. She is to bring her over tonight for the first time because she has classes to attend. The little girl is just a few weeks younger than my own youngest dd, who will be two next month.

Now, I'm concerned about the toddler biting/hitting my dd. I've been told she does bite and hit. Also concerned about my dd picking up these behaviors. Dd is a gentle little soul and we haven't had any angry hitting. We did have a short time where she was hitting oldest dd in a playful way for attention. Oldest dd would laugh, but not like it at the same time. Working mainly with older dd on her reaction we got this stopped shortly. And I'm also wanting advice on how to react if the toddler does display physical behavior.

I want to be able to connect with her. Keep in mind she doesn't know me at all. This will be the first time caring for her. She really needs a lotta love and tlc, and a calm, stable adult presence. I hope to be here for her as much as possible and have offered to have her anytime for any length of time. She has pretty much been being passed from family member to family member. Her father is currently refusing to see her. This baby is technically homeless,her mother has no stable residence, and her grandma is about to lose her home from not being able to make her mortgage. I believe the grandma would have had her more but her furnace is broken and she is heating her house with a kerosene heater as she can afford it (not always heated). The grandma's my aunt and has had a rough time, divorce and battling cancer, etc.

So any advice?

[lovermont]

All I can offer is what I think I would do in your situation. I do not constantly have my eyes on my kids by any stretch of the imaginiation. But if I was taking care of a child who I've been told hits/bites I would keep an eye on the child constantly. This would also help encourage extra attention/love lavished which sounds needed, at this point.
If the child seems to be getting frustrated I might say: you look/sound frustrated, let's take a break and read/play with playdough/whatever- just something removed from the frustrating situation.
If things escalate I would wear one of the almost-two-year-olds. Ideally the other baby as it sounds like she could use the extra snuggles but given the fact that she doesn't know you she may not be comfortable with this. Having said that, I've worked with young children who are not living in ideal circumstances and they snuggle right up to me, so who knows?