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Weekly chat thread Jan 25- Jan 31 - Page 2

post #21 of 169
Hey Maggie - some points on Edmonton (and Alberta):

Quote:
While it's good the recession seems to not have touched them too much, it's also bad in that it seems to be expensive there.
Yes - the housing prices have gone up incredibly since we moved there in '94. We bought our house for $82k CAD - in the area we lived I suspect we'd pay close to $250k now. That's insane - our house was a 1-bedroom! It IS good that the recession hasn't hit much, but Alberta in general is expensive. Nothing like Calgary though!

Quote:
FIL is an environmentalist and has sent DH some links about how Alberta isn't very environmentally with it (I guess b/c the oil industry?) and is conservative. I do see online there is a CSA that is in the Strathcona Farmer's market. We've done something like a CSA here and I really feel it's important. On the conservative: is Canadian conservative like American, or is it more fiscal rather than, oh, I dunno... don't want to get in trouble here, even if there are a lot of like-minded women, I don't want to offend anyone!
Alberta overall isn't very environmentally friendly - mainly because of the oil sands, but just drilling in general. Edmonton is a very interesting city that way because it's such a combination. There's the provincial government and a large university, which gives it a white-collar presence, but there is a lot of blue-collar around there too. The two don't always get along! The Farmer's Market is a really good one - we went there a lot.

No, Canadian conservative isn't nearly as "right" as American (talking of stereotypes LOL!). Alberta is the most conservative province in Canada, I would think, and when I lived there you could still fire someone for being gay, or having long hair, etc - and I think they've finally been pressured to allow gay marriage, for example. Compared to much of Canada, they're on their own. But I would say that strongly conservative Albertans are quite a bit more liberal than strong republicans in the US. (since we're generalizing ). For better or for worse.

Quote:
Also, DH has found online the schools are really good in Edmonton, which is also important. Oh, the speculation! So stressful and in the end, never accurate, is it?
When I lived there, the schools were absolutely magnificent. Alberta, and Edmonton in particular, strongly support charter schools - still funded by the government so there's no private school fees, but they have different philosophies. You can pretty much find any type of school you want there from "back to basics" to Waldorf, and everything in between. I believe that there can be catchment area difficulties, but overall it's a wonderful place to have kids.

I'm very non-conservative in my politics, but I'd move back to Alberta very easily. It's been 10 years and I still miss it dreadfully.
post #22 of 169
I just ate a fairly large piece of my raw placenta in a smoothie and I am thoroughly grossed out.
Just wanted to get that out.
post #23 of 169
Quote:
Originally Posted by OlyR View Post
Not only was I nervous about being able to a hold of him when I needed but I told him I didn't want beer breath in my face during labor. He thought that was a pretty fair request - so no more drinks. hah!
Ha! Seems fair enough! I remember stopping drinking (voluntarily) prior to the birth of both my nieces, because of basically the same set of reasons. Nothing like having your sister show up to your birth with her videocamera, totally sauced.
post #24 of 169
Quote:
Originally Posted by TexasMum View Post
I just ate a fairly large piece of my raw placenta in a smoothie and I am thoroughly grossed out.
Just wanted to get that out.
wow, thanks for sharing. Have you done that with past births? I don't think I could do it, but I definitely believe the purported benefits and wish I could entertain the idea more.
post #25 of 169
thanks ladies. I wanted to multiquote to respond to everyone but I got so engrossed in reading and trying to deal with contractions (just BH, like always) and keeping an ear out for the kids to be done in the shower it just didn't pan out.

I went on a date with dh tonight. It was really nice. We got in the car, drove about 7 min away to a little cafe in a local hotel and had a delicious meal. The chef asked me about if I have any food adversions while pregnant and I told her that while I mostly was fine with everything now, I HAD been craving chocolate covered pretzels, which you can't get in Israel. So at the end of the meal, she brought us two cups of hot chocolate pudding with a tray of mini pretzels.

I almost started crying when I thanked her. I was like "I know I'm just seeming like an emotional pregnant woman right now, but you have NO IDEA what I am going through in my life and just to know that someone remembered something I said and did this for ME...it just really touched me and was such lovingkindness (chessed, in Hebrew) and I just can't express to you how much this lifted my spirits." I hope she understood and didn't just blow it off, cause I really left there feeling like a new woman. One of the other things I learned, during the conversation with dh was that in all of this planning for a big move and for my future and my degree, I was just planning with myself in mind. It all seemed so right at the time and whenever I would think of the baby I just thought "oh, he'll deal" or I just didn't think about him at all. When I was sitting there I thought to myself, "wait a minute...I can't do this now...the priority is the baby and the other children. school may or may not pan out and I can't bank on that happening AT ALL. Right nowthe most important thing is the baby and I really just felt this shift in me back to my old self...like realizing that wanting to be with the baby and with my kids was/is the most important thing and somewhere along the way, I forgot all that.

So, I think I will need to ruminate on this. On all the excitement and happiness my family felt for me to "get that degree, finally" and realize that I was riding on that cloud of pleasing everyone, but the fact of the matter is, this time in my life only happens once...and school can happen later...or a bit here a bit there, but it should NEVER be the priority. Not over my kids. That's not what I wanted for me.

So, obviously, I have more work to do before little man can make his appearance...I'm glad G-d and Baby know best and hung in there a bit longer so that I could get this all straightened out. Hopefully I'll be able to find some peace in that. And a balance or happy medium.
post #26 of 169
Thanks so much Perdita. I've been breaking down into tears over this at random times and my poor 2 year old just hugs me and says "poor Mommy". I don't like being like that in front of her. I just feel like I won't live in the US again (Why does it matter so much to me? Why don't I know exactly?). DH has been asked to apply there for years and we've always thought we didn't want to go. Now he's trying to be really positive, but you know, I'm nervous. I'm going to focus on the positives as much as I can. I've never been there and have had negative feedback from him until now. Your being positive helps.

Hmm... When I was in high school in CO they rejected an Amendment that would prevent employers from discriminating against gays and lesbians. Nice, huh? I think the world has changed and is continuing to change since the early to mid-90's.
post #27 of 169
Quote:
Originally Posted by jul511riv View Post
thanks ladies. I wanted to multiquote to respond to everyone but I got so engrossed in reading and trying to deal with contractions (just BH, like always) and keeping an ear out for the kids to be done in the shower it just didn't pan out.

I went on a date with dh tonight. It was really nice. We got in the car, drove about 7 min away to a little cafe in a local hotel and had a delicious meal. The chef asked me about if I have any food adversions while pregnant and I told her that while I mostly was fine with everything now, I HAD been craving chocolate covered pretzels, which you can't get in Israel. So at the end of the meal, she brought us two cups of hot chocolate pudding with a tray of mini pretzels.

I almost started crying when I thanked her. I was like "I know I'm just seeming like an emotional pregnant woman right now, but you have NO IDEA what I am going through in my life and just to know that someone remembered something I said and did this for ME...it just really touched me and was such lovingkindness (chessed, in Hebrew) and I just can't express to you how much this lifted my spirits." I hope she understood and didn't just blow it off, cause I really left there feeling like a new woman. One of the other things I learned, during the conversation with dh was that in all of this planning for a big move and for my future and my degree, I was just planning with myself in mind. It all seemed so right at the time and whenever I would think of the baby I just thought "oh, he'll deal" or I just didn't think about him at all. When I was sitting there I thought to myself, "wait a minute...I can't do this now...the priority is the baby and the other children. school may or may not pan out and I can't bank on that happening AT ALL. Right nowthe most important thing is the baby and I really just felt this shift in me back to my old self...like realizing that wanting to be with the baby and with my kids was/is the most important thing and somewhere along the way, I forgot all that.

So, I think I will need to ruminate on this. On all the excitement and happiness my family felt for me to "get that degree, finally" and realize that I was riding on that cloud of pleasing everyone, but the fact of the matter is, this time in my life only happens once...and school can happen later...or a bit here a bit there, but it should NEVER be the priority. Not over my kids. That's not what I wanted for me.

So, obviously, I have more work to do before little man can make his appearance...I'm glad G-d and Baby know best and hung in there a bit longer so that I could get this all straightened out. Hopefully I'll be able to find some peace in that. And a balance or happy medium.
Great insight. It's so true- school will always be there for you, but your baby is coming now. Who knows what might present itself in the future? Right now it sounds like you have your plate pretty full. A lot of stuff will resolve itself with time too.

Glad you were cheered up. Now I want those chocolate pretzels!
post #28 of 169
Still here. Lost my marbles and took both girls shopping with me today. Tomorrow I guess I'll do laundry, and I have my last OB appointment Wednesday afternoon. Other than that just counting down to my induction Friday, and holding on to the shrinking hope he might come on his own before now and then...
post #29 of 169
Quote:
Originally Posted by TexasMum View Post
I just ate a fairly large piece of my raw placenta in a smoothie and I am thoroughly grossed out.
Just wanted to get that out.
post #30 of 169
Thread Starter 
all of a sudden I am in just such a bad mood and feeling down on myself. Blech.
post #31 of 169
HUGS to all the mommies away from home and family... I always get super-homesick for west Texas when I'm pregnant. And I always want a mommy.

Jul511Riv, glad you are getting to a place of peace; you know letting go of all that tension will only help you in birthing! ...Also, I cut my biological mother out of my life shortly after my first daughter was born, and it was one of the best things I've ever done for myself. But she is truly toxic.

Quote:
Originally Posted by biennourri View Post
I just feel like I won't live in the US again (Why does it matter so much to me?)
Psh, because the US is awesome! ...I had no idea how much I loved it until I left.

Quote:
Originally Posted by TexasMum View Post
I just ate a fairly large piece of my raw placenta in a smoothie and I am thoroughly grossed out.
Just wanted to get that out.
I KNOW, RIGHT?! I was so squigged-out and disappointed!! Chopped up some more small pieces tonight to work on swallowing whole later, though. ...Way later. Gosh, I'd almost rather be depressed (in a way)!

----

Speaking of depressed, I still am! Stupid hormones! GAH. I am working on exercising and eating more protein, and it does help. It's WAY worse if I don't eat enough or eat only junk foods. I feel angriest while breastfeeding...there's something about the breastfeeding hormones that affects me at every let-down for the first several months...I guess I am just REALLY sensitive! It's only for a few minutes at the beginning of each nursing session, but it's totally uncool!

And I know the PPD is affecting how I view my husband...but, well, I don't care. He told me I was "crazy" and threatened to take our preemie to the pediatrician by himself to get all her vaccinations, when all I requested was that we wait and do some reading together on the subject before making a decision. ...He chose to skip rational discussion and went straight to emotional freaking-out--because he believed the pediatrician's scare tactics (ROOKIE!)... But with all the hormonal and physical crap I'm going through on my own right now, I DO NOT HAVE THE PATIENCE for dealing with an irrational and emotional husband. He can suck it! (He can suck it HIMSELF!)

Anyway, I had a nice weekend with two of my daughters. And I got the toddler back on her sleep schedule and off of having tantrums. And kept the house clean. And any husbands who can't even handle putting a 2-yr-old to bed but want to doubt that I know what's best for my own children can continue to suck it! [Is there a lioness emoticon?]
post #32 of 169
Quote:
Originally Posted by TexasMum View Post
I just ate a fairly large piece of my raw placenta in a smoothie and I am thoroughly grossed out.
Just wanted to get that out.
For some reason, this struck me really funny-I don't know why I imagined a sitcom-style reaction to the taste of placenta, but I am easy to make laugh lately.

Quote:
Originally Posted by NicoleS View Post
Still here. Lost my marbles and took both girls shopping with me today. Tomorrow I guess I'll do laundry, and I have my last OB appointment Wednesday afternoon. Other than that just counting down to my induction Friday, and holding on to the shrinking hope he might come on his own before now and then...
Wow-only 4 more days! How exciting! Keep in mind that the full moon is approaching, so you may get a little more help from your body by itself than anticipated.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Katie34 View Post
all of a sudden I am in just such a bad mood and feeling down on myself. Blech.
Yeah, I feel like bleh too. All day I felt like I might maybe throw up? Ugh. I can't eat more than a few bites at a time, but I'm hungry all day. I feel gross. I had one random contraction that was stronger than the BH and lasted for like a minute straight, increasing in intensity until subsiding. Don't know what that was about. But, only 4 more days and I'm at 37 weeks and can go with the flow a little more.

MW and apprentice MW are doing the home visit Wed. So, I've been trying to get the house in shape. It's not dirty, but everything looks so cluttery to me suddenly.

I did buy some lovely yarn today and am going to try to make one more tiny pair of longies before the baby gets here.
post #33 of 169
Hey mamas. Feeling ok-ish here, just some backache that I wish would go away. Went to my local La Leche League meeting today just to put some names and faces together. LLL REALLY saved me during my first year after DS was born - both because I had a rough start with nursing (10 weeks or so of constant pain due to flat nipples) but also because it's where I met almost all of my IRL mom friends. I highly recommend going, even when you are pregnant, and even if you think breastfeeding will be a breeze for you. Hopefully it will! But just it case it isn't, I think it's a lot easier to call someone that you've met at least once for help/advice than a total stranger. Ok, off my soapbox for now.

Midwife appointment tomorrow, by their clock I'll be 38 weeks. Did anyone else see that Saturday is a Full Moon!? I had a thought that this my send a few of us into labor (here's to hoping, anyway!). I keep going back and forth between, "It's all good, I'm ready to meet my baby!" to "OMFG, what was I EVER thinking to have another child?! I'm not ready, aaaaggghhh!" Anyone else having some schizo moments like that?

One awesome thing that happened this weekend was finding a TON of baby clothes that I somehow thought we had gotten rid of. I'm SO happy to have found them! I also went through all of the clothes, extremely anally, and sorted them all by size, and put them in to labled bins. Now we'll now what's where FOREVER! Bwahahaha! Very glad my husband was into rearranging the basement to make that happen.

So one funny thing - in the basement rearrange, we got out our (most beloved, useful, best thing ever!) swing and put it together. Except - we can find the actual part that holds the baby. So hopefully we'll find that piece to the puzzle soon.
post #34 of 169
Quote:
Originally Posted by aramat View Post
Speaking of depressed, I still am! Stupid hormones! GAH. I am working on exercising and eating more protein, and it does help. It's WAY worse if I don't eat enough or eat only junk foods. I feel angriest while breastfeeding...there's something about the breastfeeding hormones that affects me at every let-down for the first several months...I guess I am just REALLY sensitive! It's only for a few minutes at the beginning of each nursing session, but it's totally uncool!
You know, I recall reading something once that there is actually a hormonal "disorder" that causes that or something. Happens to a select amount of women, but just another one of those things no one likes to talk about because it isn't perceived as "normal". I'm somewhat the same way - except it doesn't get better with time. I wouldn't call it "angry" in my case, more like "annoyance" - I just want baby to get done and get off of me, I don't have the warm, lovey-dovey feelings that so many other women claim to experience. It pretty much lasts until we wean - my longest nursing experience was 8.5 months (with DS) and it never got any better or more enjoyable.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Keeta View Post
Hey mamas. Feeling ok-ish here, just some backache that I wish would go away. Went to my local La Leche League meeting today just to put some names and faces together. LLL REALLY saved me during my first year after DS was born - both because I had a rough start with nursing (10 weeks or so of constant pain due to flat nipples) but also because it's where I met almost all of my IRL mom friends. I highly recommend going, even when you are pregnant, and even if you think breastfeeding will be a breeze for you. Hopefully it will! But just it case it isn't, I think it's a lot easier to call someone that you've met at least once for help/advice than a total stranger. Ok, off my soapbox for now.
It wasn't LLL, but our hospital had a nursing mom's support group I used to go to weekly with DD1. I loved being able to connect with other moms, talk to the LC, and weigh the baby. Plus once a month they had a guest "speaker" who would come in - for example, we had a baby massage therapist come in and show us some basic baby massage techniques and another time they had a child psychologist come in and answer questions about any of our kids. It was great - unfortunately I haven't been able to go back with having the older kids around - there's nothing for them to do while we are there and I don't have anyone to leave them with. But I totally recommend it to any first timers out there.
post #35 of 169
I'm feeling good today! My husband is back in town, my mom is back in the country, and I didn't go into labor while they were both gone! Almost 37 weeks, then I can tell the baby "ready when you are"!

My friend sent me some infant prefolds, yay! I'm prewashing them right now. It's very reassuring. I'm not a big prefold fan, but I have a bunch of nice wool covers, and not a lot of AIOs. So now, even if no one else gets me AIOs, I won't run out of diapers in the first day or two.

I started feeling annoyed whenever DS was nursing towards the end. Of course, it had been years by then, so I could have just been tired of it by that point, but I'm hoping things reset with the new baby. I don't thing I ever got the super-gooey-happy feelings that some people talk about, but I don't want to start out irritated! There was one super annoying thing, though, in the beginning nursing with DS - every time he nursed at night, I would need to go to the bathroom SO BAD that I could hardly let him finish. A few times I even had to detach him and shove him at DH while I took a bathroom break! I'm not sure what that was about, but with the way my bladder feels when I have braxton-hicks, I'm afraid it's going to be even worse this time... Maybe if I hadn't been drinking so much at night, but I was so thirsty in the early days that I had to keep a bottle of water right there by the bed.

We still need to try out the carseat. It would be most unfortunate if we found out we couldn't fit two carseats in the car after the baby is here.
post #36 of 169
Ok weird question...those of you that have seen your mucous plug leave or parts of it, was it a "chunk" or runny?

Wiped earlier when I went to the bathroom and there was a glob of "snot" (for lack of a better word) on the TP - but it wasn't a chunk - looked more like I had blown my nose. No blood or anything. I'm wondering if that was part of my plug? (never seen it go before, believe it or not) Hoping it is and that means I'm dilating more...
post #37 of 169
Quote:
Originally Posted by NicoleS View Post
Ok weird question...those of you that have seen your mucous plug leave or parts of it, was it a "chunk" or runny?

Wiped earlier when I went to the bathroom and there was a glob of "snot" (for lack of a better word) on the TP - but it wasn't a chunk - looked more like I had blown my nose. No blood or anything. I'm wondering if that was part of my plug? (never seen it go before, believe it or not) Hoping it is and that means I'm dilating more...
This is exactly what I have seen as well. I looked up mucus plug online and saw pictures of other women's and in some cases this is what it looked like....so I'm assuming that's what it is. I have my appointment tomorrow and am hoping to see some more dialation! Hoping for you too!
post #38 of 169
Quote:
Originally Posted by beccabus View Post
This is exactly what I have seen as well. I looked up mucus plug online and saw pictures of other women's and in some cases this is what it looked like....so I'm assuming that's what it is. I have my appointment tomorrow and am hoping to see some more dialation! Hoping for you too!
Fingers crossed for both of us then!
post #39 of 169
I didn't lose my plug in any way I could see until after my water broke and it looked runny like I blew my nose. It actually looked the most like egg white cervical mucus that I would get when I was charting. Hope it is your mucus plug and things are naturally on their way!
post #40 of 169
Okay, let's start with the mucous plug, shall we? Mine looked like liver. Straight up, ladies...it looked like a piece of liver. I was totally freaked out by it. I have no idea if other women's look that way...but mine does and it happened twice (once with each kid).

Nicole, grrrl, I just FBed you cause I dreamt that you had your baby this morning (my time) and I was reading the birth announcement. I also saw the name of the baby on there. I don't remember the name, but I'd know it if I saw it.

Okay, on to aramat...and can I just say that I was loosing sleep about you last night cause I haven't seen you post in a while and wanted to know how your weekend went.

Quote:
Originally Posted by aramat View Post
HUGS to all the mommies away from home and family... I always get super-homesick for west Texas when I'm pregnant. And I always want a mommy.

Jul511Riv, glad you are getting to a place of peace; you know letting go of all that tension will only help you in birthing! ...Also, I cut my biological mother out of my life shortly after my first daughter was born, and it was one of the best things I've ever done for myself. But she is truly toxic.



Psh, because the US is awesome! ...I had no idea how much I loved it until I left.



I KNOW, RIGHT?! I was so squigged-out and disappointed!! Chopped up some more small pieces tonight to work on swallowing whole later, though. ...Way later. Gosh, I'd almost rather be depressed (in a way)!

----

Speaking of depressed, I still am! Stupid hormones! GAH. I am working on exercising and eating more protein, and it does help. It's WAY worse if I don't eat enough or eat only junk foods. I feel angriest while breastfeeding...there's something about the breastfeeding hormones that affects me at every let-down for the first several months...I guess I am just REALLY sensitive! It's only for a few minutes at the beginning of each nursing session, but it's totally uncool!

And I know the PPD is affecting how I view my husband...but, well, I don't care. He told me I was "crazy" and threatened to take our preemie to the pediatrician by himself to get all her vaccinations, when all I requested was that we wait and do some reading together on the subject before making a decision. ...He chose to skip rational discussion and went straight to emotional freaking-out--because he believed the pediatrician's scare tactics (ROOKIE!)... But with all the hormonal and physical crap I'm going through on my own right now, I DO NOT HAVE THE PATIENCE for dealing with an irrational and emotional husband. He can suck it! (He can suck it HIMSELF!)

Anyway, I had a nice weekend with two of my daughters. And I got the toddler back on her sleep schedule and off of having tantrums. And kept the house clean. And any husbands who can't even handle putting a 2-yr-old to bed but want to doubt that I know what's best for my own children can continue to suck it! [Is there a lioness emoticon?]
So many things to say. The USA IS awesome, in so many ways...but it gets less awesome the more you live in the foreign country. Someone once told me 5 years is all you need to start feeling the love and I've passed the 4 year mark (THAT has flown by) with living in Israel and I guess I see the beauty in it now. I've gotten kind of used to it. And I think going back to the USA would be a huge culture shock.

Cutting out my toxic parents. Ug. I did that when I was a kid. In hindsight, I was an AMAZING kid. Like I had SO MUCH insight to my parents then. I made so many good decisions by cutting them out. I have a friend who, over the years, gets so frustrated with me because I maintain contact. She doesn't understand why I'm a glutton for punishment (I cut them out, then let them back in...) but, yk, I keep rationalizing it like "well at least we can have SOMETHING" and they "DO do good things" (the operative word being "doo doo" /sigh). Anyways, yeah, they are cut out for now. And even though it's really sad that I can't just pick up the phone and call mom, it feels so good to not have to be on the phone just being so hurt and upset...listening to her go on and on about her stuff and just feeling smaller and smaller as the conversation drones on. I think the only reason I have kept it going on was that it was some connection to home...to the USA...to my upbringing, culture, language. But, at some point, I'm gonna need to grow up. I don't know waht exactly that means...but I feel like I'm in the process (aren't we ALWAYS in the process).

My in-laws actually called to see if I was in labor or if there was anything new to report yet. This makes me feel nice, like they actually CARE (hey, the even remembered I was pg) but also kind of annoyed because I know that last time, they just wanted to HAVE the information, not because they particularly wanted to do anything with it.

Of course, we got all the promises and assurances from fil and mil that WHATEVER we need...if we need them to go grocery shopping, bring food, watch the kids, just let them know and they'll be here. Of course, we got that last time, too. So, while the initial reaction is "how sweet." and I really want to feel love and connection about it, the reality is that we actually DID depend on them to go grocery shopping (no car, no money, no job...) and they litereally kept us waiting for 7 hours and then said it was too late to go. We actually DID depend on them for a meal the day I gave birth...and they came over 7 hours late (same day) and asked us what WE had for dinner. Then asked us to buy more of it (we ordered pizza) so that they could take some home with them. And of course, they didn't have any money on them so we had to pay. So, yeah, I've heard it all before. And as tempting as it is to run into their arms and scream "Mommy! Daddy! The parents I never had!" The reality is that they ARE my parents exactly and for them to be able to be trusted they have to EARN that trust by coming through with their actions. Like, more than once. And at a moment when we REALLY need them...and so far, that hasn't happened with any of our families.

So, I contemplate doign more cooking and just obsessing over my immediate needs after the birth and the needs of my kids and try to rest assured that I don't need to be dependant on ANYBODY and that all will be well cause I've remained one step ahead and got it all sorted out.

And now on to your husband. GURRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I totally feel your mommy lion vibe and am with you. I hope he can stay away for a bit longer so that everyone has some time to cool down and reevaluate. Definately could be a Rookie kind of thing with him going on...I don't know the history or anything. But the most important thing, I think, is to just take everythign one step at a time...and believe in miracles.

xoxo.
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