I wonder when is the right age/moment to give my child a key to our front door, or to give him access to it.
My eldest is almost six and my youngest almost 4.
I always keep the frontdoor key(s) of our house (with patio but close to the street, suburban area of a large city) hanging at a key panel at adult height. The door is locked with one turn of a key, one turn of another knob, the upper chain-like door blocker is usually unlocked when door is locked by key, definitely locked when not key locked. Also, I never leave the key on the lock.
We also have a backdoor (one level down) that opens with a turn of the handle to a small enclosed backyard within a backyard space surrounded by houses.
I do this for several reasons.
- my youngest has been a runner and was/is/might be still capable of simply opening the door and wander outside (happened once and once is enough!). I am not 100 percent sure my eldest won't do this when he wants to play outdoors/go to a neighbouring friend's without asking/telling.
(We also have a girl in the neighbourhood who wanders, just always goes out without her family noticing or giving permission and it's been zillion times they've been looking for her or taking her back in (after) not knowing where she'd be or when she would turn up, I also caught another neighbourhood kid of 2,5 opening the door and following another kid without anyone noticing, and I brought him back, etc., none of my neighbours' front doors are childproofed it seems).
- 9/10 a ringing doorbell would mean a neighbour, in other circumstances it would be a lady from the neighbourhood I do not wish to talk to anymore for certain reasons, a postman/woman, electricity guy or similar, door-to-door-sale, beggar, ... and I've also had some suspicious people at the door in the past. Whenever the bell rings, my kids would run to the door, shouting, and they always try to open the door excitedly before I get there, no matter how I explained it's up to mom or dad opening the front door. No problem when it would concern neighbours but they'd probably call my name if I wouldn't (be able to) answer rightaway or not stand right next to my kids and when I know it's one of them I may call out to them from inside the house that I'm on my way. Yes, problem when it is any possible other random person at lour door. They would open for ANYONE (it's a blind door and they are too short for the spy but even then they would just answer...) and I do not trust 'just ANYONE' for my kids to answer the door for.
- In Summer when we mostly use the front porch, they occasionally have a bad habit of crazy-making opening/closing/banging/playing with door which might get a head/hand/foot stuck when the door IS wide open (me supervising).
- no key stays on door, not only for above reasons but also for reasons of seriously locking us out with key on door on the inside (happens easily with impulsive children around)...
BUT otoh I think my eldest should be able by now to have access to the front door key (thinking you-never-know emergencies!) and take that responsibility seriously. Front door is the safest exit at street level.
But if I leave the key on child level ds2 would definitely get his hands to it.
And still, I woulfn't think it age appropriate for my ds1 to get out by himself with the key in his pocket (you never know).
When does your child has key access (or carries a key), and/or other similar responsibilities in your homes (like phone numbers, address,dialing numbers, ...)? How do you do this with younger kids at home, or with SN children who do not understand such 'safety rules'.
Also, the backdoor has a handle without key and can't be opened (unless forced) from outside, and the backyard is one floor lower and difficult if not dangerous (steep 2m level difference, no steps) to access from the street, for small children. So not possible to provide them with a backdoor key.
My eldest is almost six and my youngest almost 4.
I always keep the frontdoor key(s) of our house (with patio but close to the street, suburban area of a large city) hanging at a key panel at adult height. The door is locked with one turn of a key, one turn of another knob, the upper chain-like door blocker is usually unlocked when door is locked by key, definitely locked when not key locked. Also, I never leave the key on the lock.
We also have a backdoor (one level down) that opens with a turn of the handle to a small enclosed backyard within a backyard space surrounded by houses.
I do this for several reasons.
- my youngest has been a runner and was/is/might be still capable of simply opening the door and wander outside (happened once and once is enough!). I am not 100 percent sure my eldest won't do this when he wants to play outdoors/go to a neighbouring friend's without asking/telling.
(We also have a girl in the neighbourhood who wanders, just always goes out without her family noticing or giving permission and it's been zillion times they've been looking for her or taking her back in (after) not knowing where she'd be or when she would turn up, I also caught another neighbourhood kid of 2,5 opening the door and following another kid without anyone noticing, and I brought him back, etc., none of my neighbours' front doors are childproofed it seems).
- 9/10 a ringing doorbell would mean a neighbour, in other circumstances it would be a lady from the neighbourhood I do not wish to talk to anymore for certain reasons, a postman/woman, electricity guy or similar, door-to-door-sale, beggar, ... and I've also had some suspicious people at the door in the past. Whenever the bell rings, my kids would run to the door, shouting, and they always try to open the door excitedly before I get there, no matter how I explained it's up to mom or dad opening the front door. No problem when it would concern neighbours but they'd probably call my name if I wouldn't (be able to) answer rightaway or not stand right next to my kids and when I know it's one of them I may call out to them from inside the house that I'm on my way. Yes, problem when it is any possible other random person at lour door. They would open for ANYONE (it's a blind door and they are too short for the spy but even then they would just answer...) and I do not trust 'just ANYONE' for my kids to answer the door for.
- In Summer when we mostly use the front porch, they occasionally have a bad habit of crazy-making opening/closing/banging/playing with door which might get a head/hand/foot stuck when the door IS wide open (me supervising).
- no key stays on door, not only for above reasons but also for reasons of seriously locking us out with key on door on the inside (happens easily with impulsive children around)...
BUT otoh I think my eldest should be able by now to have access to the front door key (thinking you-never-know emergencies!) and take that responsibility seriously. Front door is the safest exit at street level.
But if I leave the key on child level ds2 would definitely get his hands to it.
And still, I woulfn't think it age appropriate for my ds1 to get out by himself with the key in his pocket (you never know).
When does your child has key access (or carries a key), and/or other similar responsibilities in your homes (like phone numbers, address,dialing numbers, ...)? How do you do this with younger kids at home, or with SN children who do not understand such 'safety rules'.
Also, the backdoor has a handle without key and can't be opened (unless forced) from outside, and the backyard is one floor lower and difficult if not dangerous (steep 2m level difference, no steps) to access from the street, for small children. So not possible to provide them with a backdoor key.
