Begging for food and then refusing to eat it

[MommaMoo]

This is driving me so, so batty. DS is 4, and he has a long-standing habit of demanding a particular food, taking a little nibble, declaring it "disgusting," or he'll say "I'm not hungry." It's not new food he's requesting. He knows what it's going to taste like. He will go into theatrics about wanting the food, claiming to be starving, and insisting that he needs it RIGHT NOW! He's an *extremely* dramatic child, so I never know if he's being truthful with me or just exaggerating. We don't eat or have junk food in the house, and he's never had candy or commercial garbage or anything like that. So everything he wants to eat has to be prepared, and will spoil quickly if he refuses it. It doesn't matter if I save it, he won't eat it later, either. I don't even want to think about the amount of money that's gone down the toilet because of this problem. I lost it this morning and started yelling at him, then I sent him to sit in his room. Since I know that this is not the best way to deal with this, does anyone have any advice for how to handle this?

[mommyshoppinghabit]

Well, this might not be the most AP way, but threatening ds w/"green medicine" (spirulina) will generally get him to take one or two more bites.

[Porcelain Interior]

We do set meal times, and set snack times. If there is "starvation" in between these times I offer something small, but let them choose from some healthy options.

We did free range eating and it was a wasteful disaster.

[caiesmommy]

Ds is like this too. "IM HUNGY MAMA IM HUNGYYYYYY!" umm seriously?? You just had two eggs, toast, an orange and a glass of almond milk...ummm you can wait. I usually try and distract with something else. Ok,you play with (insert activity here) and if your still hungry in awhile come talk to me.

We also do set meal times/snack times. Dh tends to let ds graze on the day Im at work and he is primary caregiver and its a big wasteful mess. Seriously, half apples/bananas bowls of cereal..everywhere. Hate it

[lucyem]

Originally Posted by Porcelain Interior

We do set meal times, and set snack times. If there is "starvation" in between these times I offer something small, but let them choose from some healthy options.

We did free range eating and it was a wasteful disaster.

Thats pretty much what I have been doing with my 4 yr old. Other then the set times he gets a carrot or a slice of cheese.

[Hey Mama!]

If the girls are whining for food and I know they just had a good meal or snack I ask them are you hungry or just bored? Most of the time they are bored so I suggest something to do. I also only offer fruit or cheese most of the time if they say they're hungry outside of meal/snack times. Oldest dd will happily eat it because she truly is hungry, middle dd will whine because what she really wanted was candy.

[MommaMoo]

Wow, thanks for all the responses! Yes, I think that set mealtimes are in order. Grazing is a terribly failed experiment! Food has been a terrible issue for us, since DS is sensitive to an enormous number of foods, and he refuses ALL vegetables and ALL fruit except for apples. He's extremely limited in what he will eat.
It's a good idea to tell him to do something else before he eats. But that's another issue altogether, since he so often refuses to play by himself, and will beg and plead for me to play. The moment he's not "entertained" by me, he will say he's hungry
MSH, I had to laugh at the spirulina comment. I take spirulina tablets, and DS decided this morning that he'd like to try some. I gave him one tablet, and he decided he did NOT want another one

[eepster]

Except that DS won't be 4 yo for another 2 weeks, you description fits him to a T.

The one thing that kind of sort of works with DS, is to make it very clear that he must eat a decent amount of the XYZ he asked for before he gets anyother type of food. If he asks for an apple, then he must eat a reasonable amount of said apple before he can then request a clementine. If he request the clementine and he has only taken one bite of the apple I say "no" and send him back to finish the apple. Sometimes he eats the apple then comes back to me for the clementine, other times once he's had a little more apple he's full and doesn't want the clementine.

I suspect it would work a lot better if I could get DH more on board.

[MommaMoo]

Originally Posted by eepster

Except that DS won't be 4 yo for another 2 weeks, you description fits him to a T.

The one thing that kind of sort of works with DS, is to make it very clear that he must eat a decent amount of the XYZ he asked for before he gets anyother type of food. If he asks for an apple, then he must eat a reasonable amount of said apple before he can then request a clementine. If he request the clementine and he has only taken one bite of the apple I say "no" and send him back to finish the apple. Sometimes he eats the apple then comes back to me for the clementine, other times once he's had a little more apple he's full and doesn't want the clementine.

I suspect it would work a lot better if I could get DH more on board.

Oh, I wish that being reasonable like that would work with my DS! He is so dramatic that he will just argue with me at top volume all the reasons why he can't possibly eat the apple. Then we both end up frustrated and mad