a survey-when did your co-sleeping baby begin to sleep without nursing? (and some other questions)

[beautifulboy]

hello there parents! I have been reading and reading and reading posts here in the nighttime parenting forum and I guess it's time to form my own question.

Sort of a survey, if you co-sleep (or co-slept) and nursed to sleep at what point did your child stop nursing to sleep? and why? and at what point did your child begin to sleep through the night? and what made this happen?

We cosleep and I nurse my DS to sleep every night. He wakes up 2-6x a night and nurses back to sleep then too, overall he DS sleeps about 12 hrs at night, from 8pm-8am. As parents, so far, we are not followers of sleep training or parent-led-weaning, rather we try to respond to and meet the babe's needs as he grows, sort of like letting the baby drive.

I know all chidren are different and that development cannot be understood as linear. But I thought I'd ask everyone here in order to begin to better understand what my baby needs going forward. I feel like he could sleep more at night (wake up less) but I would prefer for this to develop naturally in his own time. However, I am wondering if we can (or if he needs help...?) help him in this dept. Also, eventually we will have another baby (we're ttc) and I don't want my DS's world to change overnight.

thanks in advance!

[butterfly_mommy]

Well DS will be 2 on Friday and we still co-sleep and I nurse him before sleep. I also have done child-led feeding, sleeping, weaning etc. This is how it has changed in the course of 2 years for us.

DS nursed to sleep and nursed about every 2 hours throughout the night sleeping for about 11-13 hours till well over a year. He then slowly started to sleep longer periods at night and I just followed his cues. He also stopped falling asleep on the boob most nights and will nurse and then pop off and either fall asleep on his own or with me rubbing his back, singing to him, pretending to sleep, etc after a year and it is still like that (I miss the times were he would nurse on one side and fall asleep on the boob, so much easier) Anyway it isn't to bad because I still get to lie down so at least I am comfy Also that can take any wear from 10 mins to about an hour.

Ok so starting at around 20 mons or so DS has been nursing of both breasts and going to sleep around 8-9 and then not waking or nursing again on most nights till around 5-6 am, he will then nurse and sleep till about 7-8. Some nights he needs a nurse at around 1-2 am but that is happening less often. Also from around 5-6 mons I would nurse him to sleep and then sneak out of the room and go in to nurse him when he cried out every 2 hours till I went to bed, then nurse him in bed. That was our typical pattern for a long time. Then it went to really only needing one nursing between him going to sleep and me going to bed and now it is very rare that I need to nurse him before I go to bed(that just started a few months ago.

I hope this was helpful, it is hard to remember how old he was when stuff changed because I really just went with the flow and didn't keep track of how long he was sleeping, nursing, etc much (just on those nights when it felt like he was nursing a lot)

[beautifulboy]

Thank you butterfly mama, this is exactly what I was looking for.
Anyone else care to offer their stories?

[jocelyndale]

At 33mo, DS nurses to sleep, but it's a very fast thing. Sometimes it's two swallows and he's out, sometimes it's 10 minutes.

He frequently sleeps 10 hours straight now, but this is a very new thing. And last night, he nursed twice (I think) before the sun came up, but both times were pretty quick.

[NamastePlatypus]

both my boys are child led ( e weaned when he was almost three when I was 6 month preggers) and J is still going VERY strong ( 2 in three weeks and is 95% EBF still)

Both cosleep still
Both stop nursing to sleep around 18 monthes. E needed cuddles until he was comotose, j when he is ready, heavy eyes, starting to doze off will roll to his bell scoot down till the covers are on his neck and say night night mama, and not let you touch him after that.

[ZanZansMommy]

My DS started STN at 2 1/2 yrs. old when I night weaned him. He would wake anywhere from 4-8 times a night depending on the night prior to my weaning. I should say I started the weaning process at 2 & it took until 2 1/2 for us to be able to lay down together without any nursing.

I had tried the same process at 18 months & failed miserably. DS was So not ready. It helped a lot to wait the 6 months as he was better able to understand what we were going to do: no more nursing at night, but they would be available during the day. He did well with this & I was especially happy to be getting a full nights sleep.

[chocolatefish]

DS has been BF, coslept and nursed through the night on demand since birth with at least 2 to 4 and often a lot more wakenings. he has always fed to sleep both at bedtime and during the night. He's turned 2 at the end of December.

2 weeks ago we nightweaned him. No more nums nums during the night between bedtime around 8pm and 6am. The first night was hard - he cried and kicked and stropped for about an hour at the first wake up. Then again at the following two that night. Since then though we've all been getting a lot more sleep. He is sleeping longer and longer chunks of 5 hours even, more often. He still wakes at night briefly, but he usually just cuddles in and goes back to sleep (I am still in shock at this!). He starts asking for num nums around 5am - sometimes I feed him, other times I try to get him back to sleep. But I think since he is still napping for 2 to 3 hours a day, then going to bed at 8, he's ready to be up at 5 / 6 am.

So now he still feeds to sleep at bedtime, which I love TBH. So peaceful. I am happy to keep BF during the day but I needed the nights back to carry on. I think it was having a visit from a friend with a 3 week old baby - the contrast btw DS and the baby was so huge I thought ' now that's a baby that REALLY needs to feed all night - DS just doesn't'. And nightweaning was so painless he was ready for it.

[columbusmomma]

I still nurse DD, 2.5 yrs. to sleep each night. We cosleep and she wakes 1-2 times a night and I do still nurse her.

[abigail_b]

I nightweaned my son at around 26 months because I just couldn't handle the all night nursing anymore. He still nursed to sleep though until he weaned completely (as a result of my pregnancy) at about 33 months.

[beautifulboy]

thanks for all the responses everyone

It seems like DS has been waking to nurse more and more, to the point where last night neither one o us got any sleep at all. This can't be healthy for either one of us! I really not sure why he's waking so often, maybe it could be teething or something else that is 'just a phase' but I am hoping hat I haven't got a boy who is developing this as his habit. I don't mind waking a few times-3/4xs- but more than that (or MANY more than that as this case may be) is not going to make a happy mama.

[Honey693]

DD is 15 months. About 2-3 times a week she'll fall asleep without nursing. We cosleep and some nights she wakes up 5-6 times, other nights 2-3.

[nervousmommy]

beautifulboy - great question! My baby nurses to sleep - always - only 2 times has he nursed...still been awake and I've been able to get him to sleep. So it gives me hope that one day he will be able to go sleep without nursing. My son is 13 months - I nurse him many times through the night - I think it's mostly due to his teeth- he had 1 night he slept 6 hours straight ( another thing that gives me hope) and I nurse him to sleep for all naps

I have a question for NamastePlatypus about J being 95% breastfed...my son is 13 months and is very picky about food he eats ( not a lot of protein...lots of carbs) I still nurse...I didn't think it was a lot...but maybe it is. Is there a different forum I can ask more questions to you about breastfeeding/eating? I realize it's not a sleep thing I'm asking about and I don't want to hijack the thread. I'm not sure if we will be doing CLW...I'm not totally against it, but I'm not sure when my breaking point will be...if I will have a breaking point.

Thanks ( don't know how to create a signature )

[zoebird]

ds is about a month older than yours.

currently, DS nurses to nap and bed, and right now will usually sleep about 6-8 hrs, wake and nurse and sleep for another 3-5.

he's squawking at intervals during the night, though. i'm trying to figure out what that is.

[Luke's mama]

DS is 21 mos. At about 8 mos, he started refusing to nurse before going to sleep at night, but then would want to nurse an hour later. That went on for a few months, and then gradually I didn't usually nurse him til around 12 am. For a while he nursed twice in the night, then around 14 mos started nursing a million times a night, which has gradually tapered off, but he is still nursing 3 times after going to sleep. Kinda tiring, but I am trying to go with it and hope he will cut back on his own. I had to go away for two nights and he slept with my parents. I left a bottle for him of pumped milk, but he wouldn't take it and they said he went back to sleep easily when they gave him his pacifier. makes me wonder...

[lovesea]

I co-slept with dd from birth. I'd always been able to pull off when I was aching and I felt she was no longer feeding and more often than not she would roll over and go to sleep. Around 6 months she started doing this consistently, although she still woke frequently and was fed every time she woke, I could always pull off before she was totally asleep. By 12 months she was waking once or twice a night. We decided to try her in a crib at the end of our bed with the rail down as the bed wasn't big enough for all of us. She had no problems with this and started to sleep even better. Now I breastfeed her at bedtime, she pulls off, crawls into her bed, rolls around a while then goes to sleep on her own (I lie on the bed). She goes through til around 5am. If she does wake it is really easy to get her back to sleep, I just lie by her and sshhh, takes about 30 seconds. She's nearly 14 months. I guess I've been lucky. Though I have to add that she wasn't an easy baby, we only started co-sleeping because we couldn't put her down.

[rzberrymom]

Originally Posted by beautifulboy

Sort of a survey, if you co-sleep (or co-slept) and nursed to sleep at what point did your child stop nursing to sleep? and why? and at what point did your child begin to sleep through the night? and what made this happen?

My DD stopped nursing to sleep naturally, at about 16-17 months--it just didn't put her to sleep anymore and I had to try other stuff.

She slept through the night consistently sometime after she turned 2. Her molars and incisors were coming in from about 14-17 months, and then after they all came in she started sleeping MUCH better but still wasn't sleeping through every night. It took until about age 2 for sleep to get pretty consistent.

[lonegirl]

My son nursed to sleep until he weaned (we day weaned first)....so 2 1/2y
He didn't fully STTN until he was weaned

[zannster]

Nursing to sleep at night was the last to go for DS. He was four years old.

As far as during the night...he cut back to 1-2 times a night at about 18 months and started sleeping all the way through at 2 years. I know that at some point (don't remember when), I started popping him off early, in the hopes that he would quit waking me up - but it didn't have much effect. He quit waking up and nursing when he was ready.

[possum]

My son is 2.75, and we have co-slept from night one. He ALWAYS nursed to sleep until he was nearly 2.5. He woke frequently at night and needed to nurse back to sleep.
We tried night weaning around 16 months because of dental issues, but it was a no go. We'd nurse, brush teeth, and take a LONG walk (45min to an hour), and he's be still and quiet, and as soon as we came in and got in bed, he'd ask to nurse. Finally, we gave up the long walks and just nursed to sleep like we'd always done.
There were occasional days or stretches of days where he'd sleep for longer stretches, and he didn't STTN (5 hours in a row) until he was about 22 months. Then it was only here and there. Most nights involved frequent waking and nursing.
At around 2.5, he started nursing and nursing and nursing but never going to sleep even though he seemed tired, so we slowly began the night weaning process. First we did bath, snack, brushed teeth, nursed, walked to sleep. Then we started lying down to go to sleep (a big step!). Then we moved nursing to before teeth brushing. After that, we started talking about how we all needed more sleep at night and that once we nursed before bed, we'd be finished nursing until the sun came up in the morning. We had a few nights where he'd wake up 2-3 times and ask to nurse, and try to find the boobs. But he has amazed me to go so quickly from the all night nurser to a person who might rouse once or twice a night and only need snuggles to go back to sleep.
Melinda

ETA He is now giving up his nap, but when he does get a nap, he still nurses to sleep then.

[sunfish21]

DD is 22 months and still nursing to almost-asleep every night, but did not start STN until I night weaned her. I just could not take the waking 4 times a night any longer (the first 20 months she slept through the night maybe two times...). I was just so tired and now pregnant and many of her night feedings felt like auto-pilot; she wasn't really awake but was looking for nummies. Night weaning was really easy and I feel good that she finally gets sleep stretches of more than 2-3 hours at a time now too.