So upset right now

[trippingbillies]

I am so mad right now. I just went to my first yoga class at a yoga studio that is paid by donation only. Now I am not dense and I know that I am not in the best shape, hence me wanting to go to this class(I could lose about 30lbs). The class itself was long (90 mins) and I could not do a lot of the stuff..but it fit into my schedule.I have a bad back and wrist. So I just did what I could.


I get through the class and the instructor says to me, "Have you been in my class before?" I told him "No. Today was my first time" He then suggests to me that I might like to go to the Sunday class as it is meant for women with curves and who are overweight. He also told me that the instructor in that class is overweight as well. I was just dumbfounded especially as all classes are open to anyone with or without experience



I don't know what to do. I just grabbed my stuff and left. I almost want to say something but what, kwim? I would like to do yoga and this place is affordable, but I was really angry.

[4myfinn]

That is incredibly judgmental and insulting! I'm so sorry.

[BettinaAuSucre]

That was fairly cruel of him to point that out. But he is right. It may be beneficial for you, especially since you have back problems, to go to a class that can help you with those issues. I am sorry to say that. I know i also sound cruel. But you want to get the most out of the yoga right?

Sounds like you would do better in that class, IF you can fit it into your schedule.

[thriftyqueen]

He was probably trying to be helpful, but he needs to learn some tact. I think he was probably sensing that maybe you felt uncomfortable and thought you might feel more comfortable just starting out, but I think was really rude how he said it.

I don't think weight has anything to do with being fit. My mom is extremely skinny and is not very fit as far as working out goes. I have friends who are slightly overweight who can run 4 or 5 miles per day. I don't think he should have judged you based on your appearance.

I would talk to the person in charge there and let them know what happened. It is not very good for their reputation to have instructors who say stuff like that. It doesn't make a person want to improve themselves when they are being judged from the get go.

[bronxmom]

That's just not helpful. He should have focused on encouraging you to make modifications as necessary. I go to a yoga by donation class and love it. It's 50 some people so a little more anonymous, which I like, and people are all sorts of sizes and abilities. Some are super-bendy, some super thin, some just like me (about 30lbs overweight at this point) and some heavier. The instructors all focus on walking you through the steps and giving modifications if you are having trouble and ways to make it harder if you're ready for that.

If that's the only class that fits your schedule, I would:
1) Get there early and tell him that while he may have been trying to be helpful, that his approach was actually hurtful; explain that this is the only class that fits your schedule and you would appreciate him offering modifications and that you will just take it easy if it gets too hard but that you feel something is better than nothing

2) During the class, make modifications as necessary: drop your arms if it hurts too much; do some of the poses on your knees as opposed to standing. If it feels too hard, go to child's pose and take a break for a minute or two til you're ready to re-join the flow

3) Remind yourself that you are doing something good for yourself and your body and try to shut out thoughts of other's opinions.

[trippingbillies]

I actually emailed this:

Bob:

This morning I attended a class you offered at YBD. The class fit well into my schedule and I found it to be enjoyable for the most part. Having scoliosis as well as carpal tunnel, there are certain things that my body has difficulty doing. Still, I was very happy to complete the class.

What I was not impressed with was your suggestion that I might be happier attending yoga on Sundays with other overweight people. I was aware that your studio offers this option but the class did not interest me due to its timing. Yes, I know I am overweight(hint:Most of us do); plenty of people in my world love to remind me. And now I have someone who is little more than a perfect stranger telling me as well.

As you know, there are several yoga studios in the area, and I think I might explore classes elsewhere.I will not be coming back to YBD and would appreciate being taken off your communications' list.

[*bejeweled*]

Frikkin' awesome! You go girl!

Originally Posted by trippingbillies

I actually emailed this:

Bob:

This morning I attended a class you offered at YBD. The class fit well into my schedule and I found it to be enjoyable for the most part. Having scoliosis as well as carpal tunnel, there are certain things that my body has difficulty doing. Still, I was very happy to complete the class.

What I was not impressed with was your suggestion that I might be happier attending yoga on Sundays with other overweight people. I was aware that your studio offers this option but the class did not interest me due to its timing. Yes, I know I am overweight(hint:Most of us do); plenty of people in my world love to remind me. And now I have someone who is little more than a perfect stranger telling me as well.

As you know, there are several yoga studios in the area, and I think I might explore classes elsewhere.I will not be coming back to YBD and would appreciate being taken off your communications' list.

[trippingbillies]

Originally Posted by *bejeweled*

Frikkin' awesome! You go girl!

You really think it was good? I tried to be fair but blunt.

[*bejeweled*]

Originally Posted by trippingbillies

You really think it was good? I tried to be fair but blunt.

It was perfect. I especially love the last sentence.

[trippingbillies]

I actually brought this up on another board and was slammed for being too sensitive. Honestly, I do not see how separating overweight people into their own classes is conducive to building their confidence.

[CarrieMF]

He probably was not aware that your difficulties in most of the moves was not due to being overweight but due to scoliosis & carpal tunnel. He could have worded things differently.

[blizzard_babe]

I like your letter.

[SquishyKitty]

I have had suggestions in the past to maybe move down to a beginner class. However, those people had tact and never said a word about weight, just that it might help to learn the moves in a slower-paced class for a couple of weeks. Never a mention about weight or keeping up, just tactfully stating the obvious, that I was having trouble keeping up/was an obvious noob.

I think the email you sent was spot-on and I hope you are able to find another class that fits your schedule without tactless nerds like that guy was.

[kathymuggle]

I think you are being a bit sensitive

His wording may have been off - but it is probably his job to make sure everyone knows about the options available at the center. Many overweight people do like to exercise in classes specifically for them - and I think the fact that the instructor is overweight is great role modelling.

If there had been a 50 plus class, or a class for those with back issues (and you fit both bills) would you have been put off if he mentionned those?

Lest anyone accuse me of not "getting it" I am about 50 pounds overweight.

PS. I think your letter was a well written but a bit harsh. I also think some good may come of it if it causes him to be more tactful in the future.

[Porcelain Interior]

I don't think you are being too sensitive at all. What does being overweight have to do with the level of the class? I know lots of people who are "fluffy" and do just fine in the harder classes.

Your injuries/limitations I think could have been addressed without him trying to get you to join the class for fat people. Because really that's what he said- "Even the instructor is overweight". I would take his message to mean that he prefers to only instruct thin people. It sounds cliquish to me.

I think it's rude as hell and I would have felt humiliated by it.

[CarrieMF]

What does being overweight have to do with the level of the class? I know lots of people who are "fluffy" and do just fine in the harder classes.

If the op had been able to perform the entire class I'd agree, but she said she couldn't do most of the moves.