EC/Potty Learning 27 month old

[Climbergirl]

I am not sure if this is the right place to post, but I need some advice.

My son is showing some signs of interest to learn to use the potty. So, we have been going to the potty, A LOT (to try and catch the pee so he could associate the pee with the potty), and I think he is starting to get tired of it. We have been doing it for 2 days. He was using a potty regularly at day care at 18 months, but we had to switch providers and the new provider did not have any toilets for that age group. We then moved to a different state in October and moved into our new house in December (right before Christmas).

I guess the best question is how? I feel utterly at lost on this one. I am nervous about trying to potty in public places. My husband doesn't want to be cleaning pee on the floor all the time. Not sure how that is not going to happen!

I need something simple but effective. Or should I just wait? I really don't want to be diapering a 3 year old! I think he has it in him (we caught one pee the first day and he seemed really excited about it). I don't care about naps and night time (yet).

Any thoughts would be great!

[sgmom]

In my opinion, EC and potty training have little to nothing to do with each other. Potty learning, on the other hand, is just that. Learning how to use the potty, at whatever age.

EC is about reading body language, using timing, and offering an appropriate place to eliminate. At early ages, most parents use a "PSSSHHH" sound as a cue to "let go", and older babies are sometimes just told to "go peepee". EC'd children learn at an early age about muscle control, and the sensation of the need to eliminate. The idea of using bribery or rewards, and often praise, is non-existent.

Potty trained older children (who have no previous potty experience) tend to have no awareness of their elimination, until they realize one day that wet = uncomfortable. And THEN the learning process begins with stickers, candy, or whatever else makes them motivated enough to eliminate outside of their diaper (in a potty, or toilet, or wherever).

You seem to be somewhere in the middle.

Can you keep him in training underwear (cotton, NOT pull up diapers) in the house (double up to avoid large puddles) so you can keep an eye on him? When my daughter pees in hers, I can see it immediately (usually in body language - she'll stop and sort of spread her knees and look down, or sometimes grab her crotch) and I can immediately take her to the potty and explain that this is where the pee goes. She will sometimes go sit on the potty all by herself, and pee through the underwear. Or sometimes she will try to take the underwear off, signaling me that she might need to pee, and I should go help her out and sit her on the potty.

If she gets excited about what she just did (she usually looks in the potty and excitedly says "THAT!"), then I share her joy with her. But it she doesn't show excitement I just say "Peepee all done!" I'll ask her if she wants to help me flush it down the toilet, but I don't force her if she doesn't show interest.

If a gentle way to potty learn is what you're looking for, then this would be my suggestion. Especially since he has previous experience with the potty, and is starting to show signs of wanting to use it more.

[Climbergirl]

Thanks for the reply. I know I don't want to "potty train". I was actually trying to explain to my husband why we should not bribe him to potty. That is why I posted in this forum, although I know it is a bit off topic since EC is done much earlier than I am doing it. It sucks because of all the changes in the past year, our part time pottying got way off track and I am trying to figure out how to get back on track.

We talk about using the bathroom a lot. I tell him when I am going "shi shi" (the hawaiian word my husband uses) or "poo poo". I let him look in the toilet after me and flush for me as well. I use liners in his diaper and when he poops, he gets to flush that down the toilet.

I have read to just get rid of any diapers and I am not sure that will be the best way to go. But then, not doing that could be confusing. Argh.

How do you do the more gentle potty learning when you leave the house? Sorry if that is a stupid question, but it is one of the stumbling blocks for me

Today, I just stopped telling him that is was potty time and let him tell me that he had gone. He was in cloth trainers, so there was a few puddles, but it was fine. I figure he has to learn what it feels like for him to go before he can take the step of going in the potty. Afterwards, I would take him to the bathroom, sit him on the potty, let him sit for a bit, wipe himself, and then let him flush. That seemed fine. We did have a few toddler moments of trying to get the next pair of undies on him (he wanted the bug, then the car, then the dinosaur ones - irregardless of whether they were dry or not).

I don't really know what I can expect so I can set my expectations. The internet is totally confusing in this regard which is why I am a bit lost.

[sgmom]

Originally Posted by Climbergirl

I don't really know what I can expect so I can set my expectations. The internet is totally confusing in this regard which is why I am a bit lost.

I'm sure someone else can toss in their opinions, but personally, I wouldn't set any expectations and just let it happen naturally. I would also listen to your son's response to how you decide to introduce the potty, and not some other persons kid that you read about online.

Concentrate first on the at home stuff (and maybe at friends houses as well) but to make it all or nothing might backfire (too much pressure). You can always bring the potty with you when you go out and tell your son that if he wants to use it, it's there for him. But if not, then that's okay too. He might surprise you!

[Carlyle]

Originally Posted by Climbergirl

Today, I just stopped telling him that is was potty time and let him tell me that he had gone. He was in cloth trainers, so there was a few puddles, but it was fine. I figure he has to learn what it feels like for him to go before he can take the step of going in the potty. Afterwards, I would take him to the bathroom, sit him on the potty, let him sit for a bit, wipe himself, and then let him flush. That seemed fine. We did have a few toddler moments of trying to get the next pair of undies on him (he wanted the bug, then the car, then the dinosaur ones - irregardless of whether they were dry or not).

For older kids, I think that this is the way to go. Put it in their court and let them tell you when they need to go. Maybe let yourself offer 3 time a day or something (at regular times--before nap, before bed, whatever feels "right" for you), and otherwise just let him know that you're ready to help when he's ready to go.

It sounds like you're already doing a great job talking about it with him--letting him know when you're going, noticing when he's going, letting him know that if he wants to use the potty you'll help him.

Get your "line" ready for pee accidents so that you don't overreact (which can be hard at times). Our line was "Oops, you peed. That's okay, you can try to get it in the potty again next time." Which I liked because it shows them that you're expecting them to TRY to get it in the potty, but doesn't imply any shame at all and gives encouragement. For us, this helped avoid a lot of the power struggles once my dd was at the point where she could recognize that she needed to go, but didn't always remember (or choose) to tell me.

I think using cloth is a great step because then he can feel when he's wet.

Maybe also get him a book about using the potty? "Once Upon a Potty" is an okay one. Maybe get him his own potty?

So yeah, for us, taking a lot of the pressure off and putting the ball in her court was a great step. I hope it works for you--good luck!