GD does work, or the benefits of teaching when something goes wrong

[LynnS6]

I just had to share -- I'm not a perfect GD parent. I yell more than I like. I've spanked each of my kids in anger a couple of times. But, GD is my ideal, and we work hard at our house to teach.

Yesterday, dh was making pizza. Dd loves to eat the shredded cheese mixed with cold pizza sauce. So, dh gave her some in a little bowl. She took it down to the basement. About 5 minutes later, she ran upstairs, grabbed the hand vac and went downstairs to vacuum. She put the vacuum away and then told me softly, "I got some pizza sauce on the carpet downstairs." She'd spilled her bowl of cheese & pizza sauce. I sent her for a wet washcloth and a small towel. We cleaned it up together. Because she had just spilled it, it wasn't too hard to get up.

She made a mistake, she fixed as much of it as she could (she did a dynamite job of vacuuming up the shredded cheese) and came to me for help with the rest. What could have been a major issue wasn't because she did what she had to do, and admitted to me that she spilled it.



I think I'm so happy about this because my dad always overreacted when we spilled something. Spills were a cause of shaming. (Overall, my parents were decent parents, but these little things do stick out.) It's a good reminder that not shaming really does pay off!

[nd_deadhead]

What a great story! It is reassuring to see the beenfts of our labors, isn't it?

My twin sons are 15 years old, and they still come to me when they've made a mistake, or made a mess. They tell me stuff they know I'm not going to be happy to hear. That level of trust was developed over many years and many incidents - I made it very clear that I would be a lot more mad about being lied to that I would about any incident.

When your relationship with your children is based on trust and respect, starting when they are very little, it's a lot easier to keep the lines of communication open.

[peaceful_mama]

AWESOME!

I had a "moment" the other day too. Some ppl here might look at this and wonder what the I was thinking. But.

DD just turned 3. She bugs me every stinkin time I'm chopping stuff to cook to chop with me. I have always, always, always, repeatedly ad-nauseaum told her she can't, these knives are for big people. I've let her do stuff like bananas or avocadoes with a butter knife.

Well, finally, I had an epiphany...I am RIGHT HERE. What is the worst thing that could possibly happen? Well, she might nick a finger and bleed a little. Or she won't and she will be a bit helpful and feel REALLY HELPFUL. (she's 3, she'll probably chop 1 potato in the time it takes me to do 5 even if she is successful....)

So...I help her try to try out the potato peeler. We trade peelers. She decides for herself this job is too hard.

I show her how to position herself to minimize the chance of cutting her finger and let her try to chop a little piece of potato that I've cut off a whole one.

Well, the first about 4 pieces go OK...then...yup. She nicked her finger. It bled a little. She cried. She got a Band-Aid. Life went on.

Guess what? Now she has decided for herself she doesn't want to use Mommy's "sharp knives" to help, it really IS a grown-up job.

I'm sure I haven't permanently scarred her for life on ever using a sharp knife...she'll just remember that for awhile and leave it to me.

[sapphire_chan]

LynnS6--

Peaceful_mama--maybe you could let her grate veggies? Grated onion works just as well as chopped onion

[dogretro]

What great stories!

I've started to let dd stir pots on the stove while I hold her. I am working to help her develop patience when food is cooking & she is hungry. I can show her what is going on and tell her it is cooking. This has helped her to understand what I mean when I say, "It will be ready soon, it has to cook!" She really has become more patient about it!