What do you say when people ask you about weaning?

[Poodge]

DS is ten months old. I see no end in sight to breastfeeding and I am hopeful that is the case. I want to nurse DS to a minimum of two and beyond if possible.

Already DH's parents have asked about weaning. "Do we plan to wean at a year?, Have we started?" DH told them we were leaving it up to DS They responded with as long you aren't one of those wierd people nursing and 3 or 4 . (At least my dad picked the age of 5 as when it became wierd - although I don't think it is wierd then either (or ever))

They are coming for a visit this weekend and I just don't know what to say if they ask me besides what DH said - We plan to let DS decided when he is done. I did tell a friend who asked "We haven't thought that far ahead yet." I also don't want them to ever say anything negative around DS about weaning, because again I want it to be his decision. They tend to be uncomfortable about breastfeeding in general. DH was formula fed.

Do you try to inform or do you just blow it off? (I am tempted to buy DS a shirt that says "Don't ask when I am going to wean" - but I think I will wait until it becomes a real issue.) I guess I am looking for support

[ktmeyer]

I always replied that the World Health Organization reccomends nursing until at least 2 years old, so that's the plan.

[pumpkin]

I try to keep it casual. Say that after our initial hurdles its super easy and I don't see anything keeping us from making it til 2. I don't mention that at the moment I don't plan to force weaning because who knows what tomorrow might bring. I just try to keep it positive.

[nosce]

I try to remind those who I know won't tune me out of the many health benefits for both myself and my daughter that continue as long as we keep on nursing. It's been especially easy to keep eyes off our nursing (or on, depending on how you look at it) over the winter flu season with everyone so worried about H1N1. I remind them that I'm vaccinating her with every nursing session I give. People seem to like that.

Really, I think that nursing is such a personal act and I don't let anyone dictate how long I decide to nurse my child more than I let someone dictate what I eat, or if I decide to have sex or have another baby. It doesn't involve them. Really. It doesn't.

In general I just smile and tell people that when nursing seems less like something so crucially important to my daughter's happiness and wellbeing, I'll reevaluate.

[Meredith&Alexander]

I tend to start with "That's a pretty personal question- why do you ask?" It gives me a moment to think, and they actually have to think about why they're prying into someone else's business. And then I can address their real question, or it's just curiosity and we both know that.

Or else I blow them off with sarcasm. I probably do that more often.

[Baby_Cakes]

Depends on the person. Usually I say as long as we are both happy, I don't see any reason to wean. If they push the issue and say, "You should wean by X," I ask them, "Why?" If they have a legitimate concern, I address it. If it's BS, I tell them that I either don't believe that or it isn't a concern of mine, so they shouldn't worry about it.

I will educate if I feel the person criticizing will benefit or learn from it. In your situation it might help to mention nursing past a year is very beneficial and is advised by the WHO, etc.

Good for you for nursing so long and continuing to do so! You should be very proud - you have lots of support here!

[lifeguard]

I usually say something along the lines of "we'll see how it goes" or "this is working great right now so we're going to continue for now" or "we're going to get through flu season & see how things are". Basically avoid giving an exact timeframe & now that ds is 15 months I find people don't ask anymore & most people have assumed I've already weaned him. It's so rare for us to nip now that I think it will become less & less of an issue.

[Gentle~Mommy :)]

I just said "we'll wean when we are ready"

I am presently nursing my just turned 5, and 3.5 year old boys

[Bokonon]

I say that it's none of their business. But when I talk to family about it, I usually say that I plan on nursing until Peepers is 2, and I say it with conviction and confidence. People think twice about trying to verbally undermine you when you are confident in your choices.

[haurelia]

Originally Posted by ktmeyer

I always replied that the World Health Organization reccomends nursing until at least 2 years old, so that's the plan.

I say the same if someone asks. If they act shirty about it, I just say something like, "I want to always shoot for more than the minimum for our son." That sounds a bit snotty, but...

My son is only 1, though, so I imagine that we'll have to deal more with this as he gets older.

[HappyHappyMommy]

Like others, it depends who is asking (and what the tone of the question is...is it curious? accusatory? etc.)

Originally Posted by ktmeyer

I always replied that the World Health Organization reccomends nursing until at least 2 years old, so that's the plan.

This is the response I use most frequently.

Originally Posted by Gentle~Mommy :)

I just said "we'll wean when we are ready"

I've used this as well. Sometimes I add too that "I understand that different people make different choices. I would not presume to know what's best for another child or another family; likewise, we are making the choices that work for us and for our daughter."

Originally Posted by Bokonon

I say that it's none of their business.

I've said this as well.

Originally Posted by Meredith&Alexander

I tend to start with "That's a pretty personal question- why do you ask?" It gives me a moment to think, and they actually have to think about why they're prying into someone else's business. And then I can address their real question, or it's just curiosity and we both know that.

I've never tried this, but I plan to in the future! Thank you!

[MiaMama]

Originally Posted by ktmeyer

I always replied that the World Health Organization reccomends nursing until at least 2 years old, so that's the plan.

Yeah, this is what I started with, but so often, people have no idea what the WHO is... I changed it to

"The DOCTOR says she needs to nurse at least until she's two."

I have found that people don't argue with that. They go ooooohhhh, ok. LOL They don't need to know that I am talking about Dr. Sears.

I have also done the silly, joking tact. "Oh my, I hope she is weaned when she starts college!" or "Gasp! did you just call my kid a weaner???"

[chocolatefish]

I always refer them to The Management i.e. DS!
Then don't get into any further conversation.
Bean dip anyone?!
http://goybparenting.com/?p=58

[tanyam926]

"We will wean when ds is ready", and change the subject.

Believe me, by the time you get to the third kid (like me!) people don't even ask anymore!

[Smokering]

I've answered along the lines of "I'm not really planning to wean per se, we'll wait until she's ready" or "I'd really like to keep going until she decides it's time to stop".

[DevaMajka]

I always said "We'll wean when one of us is ready to." It must have been all they needed to hear, because I never had anyone keep questioning me after that.
I mean, really. How can you argue with that?
I think some people were genuinely concerned that I was going to keep nursing even though I didn't want to.

I also mentioned something about kids needing full fat milk until age 2 for proper brain development, and why would I stop giving him people milk and start giving him cow milk? I think I was pretty clear about thinking that 2yo was my minimum.

[Youngfrankenstein]

Originally Posted by MiaMama

"The DOCTOR says she needs to nurse at least until she's two."

I have found that people don't argue with that. They go ooooohhhh, ok. LOL They don't need to know that I am talking about Dr. Sears.

I have also done the silly, joking tact. "Oh my, I hope she is weaned when she starts college!" or "Gasp! did you just call my kid a weaner???"

That is awesome!

[asoulunbound]

i don't get this question a lot, dd is only 15 months. But I just say when Samara's ready, and use the dr/WHO line about 2 years. Don't know about what I'll say beyond that, lol. Also dd has some feeding delays (we are currently addressing it) so right now weaning isn't really an option.

[KristyDi]

I got this question a lot leading up to and around a year but it's slacked off since. My response was always something like this.

"Well, the WHO recommends a minimum of two years. And she's still getting antibodies that boost her immune system when she nurses. I guess at this point we'll wean when one of us gets tired of nursing, but I'm content to continue for quite a while yet."

I keep it casual and if it's people I care about asking in a respectful way then I'm willing to discuss it a bit. At one point when I mentioned that kids regularly nurse longer in other cultures, my dad said something about it not being emotionally healthy for a 4 year old to be nursing in our society and I came back with something about 4 year olds not caring much what "society" thinks and the only way they'd feel bad about nursing was if someone close to them made them feel that way. I think that's the last time he mentioned anything about weaning. I get the feeling that they don't totally approve of us still nursing, but the more they see that none of their fears about us still nursing are happening then they're relaxing. It helps that dd is such a happy, calm and confident child.

[hollytheteacher]

I've only been asked this twice "are you weaning soon" and I answered "Nope, I'm just following his lead"

This should get someone off your back because if they pry it any further it makes it look obvious that it is their problem and not yours. kwim?