avoiding being in a 2011 DDC too - Page 3

[folkgirl]

I've read TCOYF a couple of times, and while I agree it has a lot to offer, I found it hard to stick to. The book acknowledges that charting can be more challenging with PCOS and that's definitely been the case for me. I have no real noticeable pattern of CF. Also, when you only cycle once a year or so, it can be hard to stay motivated with temping. Call me lazy? I did cycle a couple of times while breastfeeding, starting when my daughter was about 2, then had a 9 month break until I cycled again (after weaning).

[aramat]

Throughout the pregnancy, I said, "NEVER again". After giving birth prematurely and standing outside the door of the NICU waiting for a chance to see our baby, I said, "ABSOLUTELY NEVER AGAIN".

But then after reading through this thread...I'm thinking, for myself, well, how about permanent sterilization? But...but...but... I can't yet wrap my head around the idea of not being ABLE to have more children.

I think I'll just be charting. Which isn't as reliable as I thought I would want, but I feel like I'm actually going to be okay with that! (?!)

Don't know how we'd pay for school for four children, though...

[NicoleS]

Ok, our library does have TCOYF, so I put a request in. Figure it can't hurt to take a look at it, though I am still skeptical about how effective it will be in my case.

[Thandiwe]

Originally Posted by HappiLeigh

We used condoms during the years between children, just for lack of making a decision about anything else, but I find them irritating and inconvenient.

Um haven't read the whole thread yet, but I am here in this ddc because of condoms. I have never had trouble before... until this past spring/summer. One time, just that one time. We dtd, maybe a little rougher than usual, and then - BAM - it was missing. I had to go fishing, and I already knew it was my ov day. Obviously, I shouldn't have dtd *that* day, but I was trying to be nice to my husband... and ended up pregnant. With three under 3 already. So.... I have called around about vasectomies, and it's paid in full by our insurance, but I can't bring myself to. I've always wanted 4, and we're foster parents to one of our little ones, so I don't want to slam the door at three if our family changes over the next year.

Interesting in reading other's responses, because Mirena has interested me too....

[Thandiwe]

Originally Posted by GuavaGirl

and pull out method.

Okay, this is going to be waaaaay tmi, and I mean no disrespect at all, but a few of you have mentioned this. I have a ton of respect for you... I could never. I think I would kill my husband if he brought things to a screeching halt right then... we are usually pretty "synchronized."

Sorry, just wanted to say you have waaaaaaay more will-power than I, I'd prolly kill him if he tried.

[dinahx]

Due date crashing to clear two things up: TCOYF does not deal with Natural Family Planning, it deals with Fertility Awareness Method. The book to read about NFP is The Artof Natural Family Planning. NFP has a higher effectiveness than FAM.

Also, nursing exclusively and on demand is not enough to delay the reurn of fertility, one has to follow the seven rules of ecological breastfeeding. The minute the Paci or Sippy are introduced, you can expect AF to come back. For LAM to really be maxed out ALL baby's suckling needs must be met at the breast. It still won't work for everyone, but way more.

[jul511riv]

Originally Posted by aramat

Throughout the pregnancy, I said, "NEVER again". After giving birth prematurely and standing outside the door of the NICU waiting for a chance to see our baby, I said, "ABSOLUTELY NEVER AGAIN".

But then after reading through this thread...I'm thinking, for myself, well, how about permanent sterilization? But...but...but... I can't yet wrap my head around the idea of not being ABLE to have more children.

I think I'll just be charting. Which isn't as reliable as I thought I would want, but I feel like I'm actually going to be okay with that! (?!)

Don't know how we'd pay for school for four children, though...

homeschool.

Originally Posted by NicoleS

Ok, our library does have TCOYF, so I put a request in. Figure it can't hurt to take a look at it, though I am still skeptical about how effective it will be in my case.

Just remember to READ IT ALL THE WAY THROUGH and understand EACH STEP of the way with it. Otherwise you'll be in the same boat as my sister, just skimming it and totally missing the finer details (like, checking cervical fluid...same time every day...same way...but what to do AFTER you've had sex and are unsure whether seminal fluid is EWCF or not, etc...)

Originally Posted by dinahx

Due date crashing to clear two things up: TCOYF does not deal with Natural Family Planning, it deals with Fertility Awareness Method. The book to read about NFP is The Artof Natural Family Planning. NFP has a higher effectiveness than FAM.

.

?! based on WHAT?! NFP is using prediction from the previous month...unless we are talking about another method and has NEVER been proven to be more effective than FAM. The opposite is true. Am I missing something?

[NicoleS]

Yeah - LAM didn't work for me...that's how I got Shane. Athena was exclusively BF'd, under 6 months, and wouldn't take a binky or a bottle...

[lulu_n2]

Originally Posted by NicoleS

Yeah - LAM didn't work for me...that's how I got Shane. Athena was exclusively BF'd, under 6 months, and wouldn't take a binky or a bottle...

I was ovulating by 6 m postpartum. Of my mommy group, at least half have their periods return by about 8 months PP. (about ten people who all exc. BF on demand) 2 ovulated before getting AF.

[RedOakMomma]

DDCC here, but this is our last baby and I'm thinking about post-partum BC, too.

What's worked well for us in the past is a mix of charting and contraceptive foam or gel. I won't use hormonal birth control and I got pregnant (WITH TWINS) on a copper IUD, so those are out. Contraceptive gel works really well for us...it's affordable, it's easy, and I don't have to worry about hormones.

I chart my temp and cervical mucus (in the abreviated form covered by TCOYF), and when I'm near my fertile period we used foam or gel. If we were crazy enough to do it when I was ovulating, we used foam + condom. The nice thing about charting is it allowed a week or two of bc-free sex each cycle...no foam, no nothing, no fear. Loved it.

We'll be using that method again post-partum, probably for a 6m or so until dh gets snipped.

[NicoleS]

Originally Posted by lulu_n2

I was ovulating by 6 m postpartum. Of my mommy group, at least half have their periods return by about 8 months PP. (about ten people who all exc. BF on demand) 2 ovulated before getting AF.

Shane and Athena are only 14 months apart.

Originally Posted by RedOakMomma

DDCC here, but this is our last baby and I'm thinking about post-partum BC, too.

What's worked well for us in the past is a mix of charting and contraceptive foam or gel. I won't use hormonal birth control and I got pregnant (WITH TWINS) on a copper IUD, so those are out. Contraceptive gel works really well for us...it's affordable, it's easy, and I don't have to worry about hormones.

I chart my temp and cervical mucus (in the abreviated form covered by TCOYF), and when I'm near my fertile period we used foam or gel. If we were crazy enough to do it when I was ovulating, we used foam + condom. The nice thing about charting is it allowed a week or two of bc-free sex each cycle...no foam, no nothing, no fear. Loved it.

We'll be using that method again post-partum, probably for a 6m or so until dh gets snipped.

Is the foam/gel irritating at all? I've found I can't use a lot of the fancy lubes like the "warming" ones because they irritate me too much...

[jul511riv]

Originally Posted by NicoleS

Is the foam/gel irritating at all? I've found I can't use a lot of the fancy lubes like the "warming" ones because they irritate me too much...

can be. I would try some different kinds if you are wanting to go that route to see what works for you. I had a spermicidal film that i think we used once, but I don't remember.Yk, yeah, they can be irritating...they are poisons like any other "cide" (ie insecticide, etc...) and you are putting it in your most delicate parts...

[NicoleS]

Originally Posted by jul511riv

can be. I would try some different kinds if you are wanting to go that route to see what works for you. I had a spermicidal film that i think we used once, but I don't remember.Yk, yeah, they can be irritating...they are poisons like any other "cide" (ie insecticide, etc...) and you are putting it in your most delicate parts...

Yeah, I'm thinking that may not be the best option either since I can't even use any of the "fun" lubricants...DH has wanted to try that new "intense" one they've been advertising on TV - but the last thing I want to do is spend $20 on a bottle of lubricant that I can't even use!

[jul511riv]

Originally Posted by NicoleS

Yeah, I'm thinking that may not be the best option either since I can't even use any of the "fun" lubricants...DH has wanted to try that new "intense" one they've been advertising on TV - but the last thing I want to do is spend $20 on a bottle of lubricant that I can't even use!

well, since I don't have a tv, and even if I did, I'm in another country and have no idea what you are talking about...I'd have to say that, um, yeah, oh well. But, USUALLY companies give out samples. Truthfully, I'd call up the company and ask them if you can get a sample size (and where and how) so that you can find out if you are allergic. Really.

I'm sure you could make your own. I made my own "lube" that I felt was safe based on my research (but do your own research because many people feel that oil based lube is NOT great to use and blah blah blah) that had sweet almond oil...or something like that as a base (olive oil would be even SAFER!!!) and I just put in a drop or two of some essential oils in a huge bottle and it was great.

B"H I haven't had a problem with "dryness" or something like that, but I DO have trouble getting back into the swing of things after having a baby and that can last for a while, so it really helps with that.

Of course, now we are talking about the exact opposite thing this thread is supposed to be about. Lol. Although, if you use certain eo's in it, you MIGHT be discouraging sperm from surviving (neem oil comes to mind...) So there ya go.

Good luck at your induction tomorrow. xoxo

[RedOakMomma]

Originally Posted by NicoleS

Is the foam/gel irritating at all? I've found I can't use a lot of the fancy lubes like the "warming" ones because they irritate me too much...

The first one I used was irritating, the second brand I tried wasn't. I had good luck with a third brand, too. In general I liked the gels better than the foam, but both worked well.

[NicoleS]

Originally Posted by jul511riv

well, since I don't have a tv, and even if I did, I'm in another country and have no idea what you are talking about...I'd have to say that, um, yeah, oh well. But, USUALLY companies give out samples. Truthfully, I'd call up the company and ask them if you can get a sample size (and where and how) so that you can find out if you are allergic. Really.

I'm sure you could make your own. I made my own "lube" that I felt was safe based on my research (but do your own research because many people feel that oil based lube is NOT great to use and blah blah blah) that had sweet almond oil...or something like that as a base (olive oil would be even SAFER!!!) and I just put in a drop or two of some essential oils in a huge bottle and it was great.

B"H I haven't had a problem with "dryness" or something like that, but I DO have trouble getting back into the swing of things after having a baby and that can last for a while, so it really helps with that.

Of course, now we are talking about the exact opposite thing this thread is supposed to be about. Lol. Although, if you use certain eo's in it, you MIGHT be discouraging sperm from surviving (neem oil comes to mind...) So there ya go.

Good luck at your induction tomorrow. xoxo

Hehe, I guess we are on a tangent. The "intense" one is some new thing that KY put out and is supposed to be the only one scientifically proven to increase female satisfaction. I don't think he realizes that's it's a lack of desire, feeling incredibly unsexy, and general uncomfortableness preventing me from wanting to DTD right now, not satisfaction.

[*Aimee*]

Pregnancy is really hard on me (mentally) and this labor was REALLY really hard on me. DH wasn't sold on having 3 (he is now of course!) and I really wanted 4 but realistically I don't think I can handle anymore. I have a 3, 1 and this baby. I want to homeschool and I don't think I personally could handle homeschooling 4 this close together. I'm also just a really crappy wife and mother while I'm pregnant.

DH is getting a vasectomy. I know it's the right thing but part of me just feels, really really sad. I love babies, I love my boys, and it's sad to think I'll be done, even though I want to be done, if that makes any sense. Part of me is excited to get my body back and start focusing on losing weight (I'm morbidly obese) and just moving on but the other part of me is just "omgosh I need more babies!!!".

I'm pretty sure he'll have it done before my 6 weeks postpartum.

[jul511riv]

Aimee: Mazel tov on your baby and (((Hugs)))

[zonapellucida]

I think I am sending DH in....

[dinahx]

NFP is absolutely not based on the previous month. The reason it is more effective than FAM is that FAM allows a barrier method during fertility, reducing effectiveness to that of the chosen barrier. With NFP you abstain during the fertile time. Also, iirc, FAM as detailed in TCOYF only wants you to wait for 2-3 high temps, while NFP suggests 4.

The only method that goes by the previous month is the 'rhythym method' and that is NOT in use anymore, really by any recognized authority.