Pregnancy/Birth 'issues'

[JTA Mom]

I'm pregnant for the third time.

My first pregnancy ended at 16 weeks with spontaneous labor. Back & forth to useless doctors telling me 'there's nothing we can do, if you keep the baby, you keep it. If not, then you don't'. Then why go to a doctor in the first place, ya know? Came to find out 6 mos later that I had a raging infection somewhere and that antibiotics may have saved my baby.

Second pregnancy went to 37 weeks. Induced due to pre-e. Fought with them starting at 10hrs to keep from getting a c/s. 22hrs later, got a c/s. Wasn't allowed to even sit up in bed. Entire pregnancy was nerve-wracking. Constantly monitored for everything. As in I even had the GT test at 8 weeks because I'm fat, constant 'nutrition' screenings, etc. You know, because people can only get fat eating crap. Not because they eat too much.

And now, I'm finding myself happily pregnant again. And I don't want to make the call to anyone. I don't want to make an appointment with an OB. I don't want to make an appointment with a midwife. I just.don't.want.to.

I don't want to deal with the struggle to even get accepted for a VBAC/HBAC.

I don't want to deal with the whole 'you are fat, therefore you need every screening under the sky.' Seriously, my last OB wanted me to have a nuchal screening & amnio. I was 25, my dh was 23!!!!

Maybe I'm just sick of interventions. And the stress they cause. I don't know. I just know these 'issues' I'm having can't be good. I mean, I need some monitoring, at least for blood pressure.

But I really don't want my current 'bliss' to be shattered. My first pregnancy I was scared the entire time due to spotting. Second pregnancy I was scared for a recurrence of the first. And now, I just want to ENJOY it.

Someone smack me out of this!

Ami

[at_the_hip]

I'm so sorry that you are feeling so much trauma due to your past experiences. I think it is PERFECTLY understandable. I relate to your feeling of just wanting to be left alone, and I do really like my midwife!

The only thing that I could think of to suggest is giving yourself a new experience to some extent. A new OB or midwife...of your choosing, and if you don't like the person, find someone else. You need to feel respected and informed, even if the outcome isn't exactly the way you envision.

[etsdtm99]

i get it too. I didn't want to call anyone when i got pregnant this time.. i ended up calling midwives and scheduling interviews and planning a homebirth (there are no birth centers around here) and i'm feeling so much better now.. I just can't stand my OB, the office, the hospital.. it all just brings up bad memories and feelings of helplessness . i had a really hard time going back with my last pregnancy (after a 11 week loss) but i did because i was freaked out after the loss.. but this time, i'm just not going back.. i have had vaginal births though and 2 completely complication free pregnancies.. all of my stress and issues during birth were directly linked to interventions.. so, for me, its no more interventions thank you.

[hapersmion]

*nods* That's how I felt this pregnancy, after my miscarriage. I didn't want to tell anyone, or go to any appointments, I just wanted to sit at home and be secretly pregnant.

So why not let yourself feel that way? If you know how to eat well and avoid bad stuff (smoking, etc), no appointments are going to be much good to you in the first half of pregnancy or so anyway. I delayed my appointments with this pregnancy until I got nervous and WANTED someone to do a little checking for a heartbeat. Why not take some time, and make an appointment with someone non-interventive when you're ready? No hurry. (Or look into unassisted pregnancy on the UC forum - you can get your own blood pressure monitor if you want.)

Enjoy your pregnancy!