Something I've wondered a long time? - Page 2

[Tara2]

zoe- thanks for your words... wanted to add too, that I had had many times envisioned the day of birth, and *knew* what date it would eventually be on and how it would start, ctx beginning at 4am, how happy DH and I would be, etc. Well it did start how and when I envisioned exactly. In fact the whole day of labor was so peaceful and beautiful. When the m/ws initially arrived, my labor kind of stayed in one place for awhile. Not stalled or anything, just hanging out. It was like I was content to just be, without going anywhere. They took DD to the park saying that they experienced some women progressed faster when the woman was alone with DH, and encouraged me to take a walk with DH So it did.
during the hour or two they were gone my ctx had picked up quite a bit. When they got back DS was born within 2 hours. But what stands out in my mind is that magical, timelessness when I was alone in the house with DH. It was just this beautiful perfection, at the risk of sounding hokey. I don't know how to describe it. We both felt a bit sad at the way things went after mws came back.

[MsBlack]

zoebird--NICE example!! Thanks for that.

Tara2--

I, too, think it was more about 'knowing'. And I can't help but wonder if it was connected to your discomfort with your mw. I will say that when you have to move away from a mw you love, and had a good birth or 2 with, it can be hard to really accept ANY new mw--for many women, anyway. But it does seem that you never felt quite as safe with the new one--it wasn't just that she was new, it wasn't just that she was 'not your old familiar mw', but because she was someone you could not totally trust--you knew that instinctively, and you were right.

As for your pelvic floor issues--these can be sorted out with time and effort to pelvic floor and core work. No, you won't just magically regain your former tone, but you can certainly bring it back again, there has been much work done in this area. Pilates for women, yoga, various forms of exercise that work the pelvic floor and core musculature will help you. You can start anytime--in pregnancy, you just have to start easy and advance slowly, but even now you can make real inroads on the problems. And if you do start, you will help yourself have a better birth this time--at least, a birth not complicated by the pelvic floor issues you report.

[*EarthMama*]

Wow, looking at this thread has brought up a lot of fear for me. I had a homebirth with a midwife for ds and had slight shoulder dystocia. They did the Gaskin Technique and it was effective immediately.

I haven't thought much about the possibility of dealing with that again. This time around (I am due in May) we are planning a UC and I didn't realize how many unconscious fears I have about handling this sort of thing.

I just wanted to thank the op and all of the pps for creating/ contributing to this thread because it has given me an opportunity to release fear and doubt and move in to complete trust. One thing about my first labor is that I never really had the opportunity to just listen to my body and trust. I trusted that what it was doing was perfect but I put my ultimate guidance in the hands of an outside authority (my midwives). I feel confident that given this scenario again in a UC I will instinctively know and trust what I need to do to save my baby.

I also plan to have dh do his fair share of preparation for such things. But ultimately, I now know that my body, my soul, the baby's soul are the ultimate authority in childbirth. To trust this completely is to free birth. I am so excited about this journey... so, thank you, thank you Mamas!

Also I came across this statistic that I found comforting as far as repeat shoulder dystocia is concerned...

"The rate of repeat shoulder dystocia in a subsequent vaginal delivery has been reviewed in six series and the risk of recurrence ranges from 1.1% to 16.7%. The average recurrence rate was relatively low at 10.1%."

[lia_joy]

Tara2- While I certainly can't say what would have happened had you planned a UC, or if planning one in the future is a good idea for you, I wanted to point out that reading your words, I see MANY things that you KNEW in advance (that no professional would be able to tell you.) I hope that you can really appreciate that, and feel confident going forward, in trusting yourself! I know that, for me anyway, intuition doesn't feel as certain and concrete as the words come out when I say/type "I knew..." Maybe it would help to re-read some of what you have written here.

If you choose to have a MW at your next birth, you could share your story with her including all those intuitive feelings & how you feel now looking back at them so that everyone involved can help you give a voice to your intuition this time.

If you choose not to have a MW, it sounds like you & your DH are much more aware of that inner voice now, which, IMO reduces your risk of ending up in an emergency situation with no help (ie. you feel something isn't right & call a MW or head to the hospital if needed)

Great thread BTW! My 2nd was posterior, which I didn't even realize til years later (I innitially thought it was sticky shoulders) when I put the pieces together & re-watched the video. I often wonder how that birth would have gone with a professional... I never had any obvious intuitive moments (though i knew something was 'off' about his postion) but doing what came naturally made things go as smoothly as they could.... I do think that even 'helpful' suggestions or manuevers, in my case, would have made things more difficult (maybe even causing problems to arise.)
Thanks for sharing your story.

-Lia

[Tara2]

Ladies...I've been processing...thank you for your words of wisdom and confidence in mine...it helps. Darn if I didn't know a thing or two ahead of time, like some of you suggested, didn't I? I feel lighter and freer and some of you helped me gain clarity on this issue. Bless you for doing so! LOL> I'll let you know how my next birth goes. First I gotta get pg, lol!

btw Lia- all 3 my kids were posterior, but rotated before birth... DS took the longest to rotate, and he did change back a couple times.

[Kidzaplenty]