A friend of my mom's gave me a ride today and she had her granddaughter in the back seat, asleep when I got in. The baby is still rearfacing and I commented on it (in a positive way!) because although I haven't really hung out with them in a while, I was pretty sure she was around a year, and people around here like to turn their kids early. So I thought that was great.
Until....she proceeds to tell me that the baby is still in her INFANT carseat at 16 months, because she is so tiny that she hasn't outgrown it yet. She is still in 6-9 and 9-12 mo clothes and just started walking about a month ago. So I asked her if they had ruled out any issues that might be slowing down her growth.
She said the doctor just put her on pediasure last week because she doesn't eat, which I took to mean that she is picky, only likes milk or gerber puffs or soemthing....no. Her mom doesn't FEED her. At all. She only gives her bottles (of what I don't know since she said she's not on formula) and bread.
A few weeks ago the grandma went out of town and took the baby with her to give her dd a break for a couple weeks, and while the baby was with her she learned to eat. She had not eaten anything on a regular basis up to that point and the grandma had to start her on stage 1 jar food because that's all she could handle. Over the course of the trip she progressed up through the stage 3 and on to some real foods, and gained 4 pounds.
I couldn't believe it and I was like "well, doesn't she cry when she's hungry?" her grandma said she hardly cries at all even if she gets hurt and will sleep for hours and hours day and night. Her bladder is so small that when she drinks something it runs right through her and comes out immediately like one of those "real-life" dolls that kids play with. The doctor said her liver had high levels of bilirubin because she was so dehydrated at her last visit, but I guess maybe the mom made it seem like she wasn't interested in food, so that's why he prescribed pediasure rather than attributing it to neglect.
What breaks my heart is that I really, really like her dd. She is a little younger than me but she always loved babies as a preteen and young teen and I saw her being an excellent mother because of that. When her baby was born she was only 18 and not in the greatest point of life and I wanted to be encouraging to her so I filled this big diaper bag with all kinds of nursing goodies like lansinoh and the breastfeeding book by dr sears. I encouraged her to stick it out with nursing and at first she was. I commiserated with her about the discomfort at first and encouraged her to cosleep and let the baby be attached to her since she was going to be a solo parent, like me at the time. She seemed to be doing great when I last really talked with her when her dd was about 6 months. I moved and had issues of my own and lost touch with her, and have only seen her a few times since then. She always looks so nice and put together that I thought she must really be doing great at the mommy thing.
I'm so heartbroken for this baby. Her grandma doesn't always get to see her as much as she'd like but she brings jar food over to the dd's place because that is the only thing she will feed her. For whatever reason she won't feed her anything else except bread and bottles. She refuses to lsiten to her mom or anyone else about anything related to caring for the baby. I just don't get it. I totally get selfish moments and wanting to toss the baby out the window at 2 AM and all those awful things you think and say when your child is testing and frsutrating you, but I just can't imagine not feeding my dc. I would rather starve before letting my child go hungry. I just.don't.understand.
There is nothing I can do about this. I just had to rant because by the time I got out the car I just wanted to break down crying. That poor poor baby. I don't want anyone to take her from her mama...I KNOW she is a good person and probably means well. But I wish she would take some advice and help so she could get back to being a great mother. I just can't fathom what she's thinking to do this to her baby.
Until....she proceeds to tell me that the baby is still in her INFANT carseat at 16 months, because she is so tiny that she hasn't outgrown it yet. She is still in 6-9 and 9-12 mo clothes and just started walking about a month ago. So I asked her if they had ruled out any issues that might be slowing down her growth.
She said the doctor just put her on pediasure last week because she doesn't eat, which I took to mean that she is picky, only likes milk or gerber puffs or soemthing....no. Her mom doesn't FEED her. At all. She only gives her bottles (of what I don't know since she said she's not on formula) and bread.
A few weeks ago the grandma went out of town and took the baby with her to give her dd a break for a couple weeks, and while the baby was with her she learned to eat. She had not eaten anything on a regular basis up to that point and the grandma had to start her on stage 1 jar food because that's all she could handle. Over the course of the trip she progressed up through the stage 3 and on to some real foods, and gained 4 pounds.
I couldn't believe it and I was like "well, doesn't she cry when she's hungry?" her grandma said she hardly cries at all even if she gets hurt and will sleep for hours and hours day and night. Her bladder is so small that when she drinks something it runs right through her and comes out immediately like one of those "real-life" dolls that kids play with. The doctor said her liver had high levels of bilirubin because she was so dehydrated at her last visit, but I guess maybe the mom made it seem like she wasn't interested in food, so that's why he prescribed pediasure rather than attributing it to neglect.
What breaks my heart is that I really, really like her dd. She is a little younger than me but she always loved babies as a preteen and young teen and I saw her being an excellent mother because of that. When her baby was born she was only 18 and not in the greatest point of life and I wanted to be encouraging to her so I filled this big diaper bag with all kinds of nursing goodies like lansinoh and the breastfeeding book by dr sears. I encouraged her to stick it out with nursing and at first she was. I commiserated with her about the discomfort at first and encouraged her to cosleep and let the baby be attached to her since she was going to be a solo parent, like me at the time. She seemed to be doing great when I last really talked with her when her dd was about 6 months. I moved and had issues of my own and lost touch with her, and have only seen her a few times since then. She always looks so nice and put together that I thought she must really be doing great at the mommy thing.
I'm so heartbroken for this baby. Her grandma doesn't always get to see her as much as she'd like but she brings jar food over to the dd's place because that is the only thing she will feed her. For whatever reason she won't feed her anything else except bread and bottles. She refuses to lsiten to her mom or anyone else about anything related to caring for the baby. I just don't get it. I totally get selfish moments and wanting to toss the baby out the window at 2 AM and all those awful things you think and say when your child is testing and frsutrating you, but I just can't imagine not feeding my dc. I would rather starve before letting my child go hungry. I just.don't.understand.
There is nothing I can do about this. I just had to rant because by the time I got out the car I just wanted to break down crying. That poor poor baby. I don't want anyone to take her from her mama...I KNOW she is a good person and probably means well. But I wish she would take some advice and help so she could get back to being a great mother. I just can't fathom what she's thinking to do this to her baby.
and after that I kept thinking about her poor baby not getting anything to eat day after day.....
