hi all,
so ds1 is 9 yo and a very gentle, sensitive boy. his younger brother, ds2, is a bit of a wild man, very sweet but also very rough and extremely strong for his age. ds2 loves big bro, but often "attacks" him physically, scratching his face, pulling his hair, pinching hard, etc. when ds2 is reading, relaxing, etc. it's probably a misguided attempt to engage big bro and get some attention, but it really hurts ds1, and it also frustrates him and makes him sad, understandably. I'm not quite sure what to do. I try to foresee and prevent possible attacks, but sometimes they come out of the blue. If I am right there when it's happening, I say "that hurts t, it makes him sad when you do that! be gentle with t!" or something similar. often ds 2 will then throw his head back, wail, then bring his head down to the floor in a fit of sad rage. drama king or what! I then watch to make sure he doesn't hurt himself, try to distract him, and often just wait for the mood to pass (it usually doesn't last long, luckily). I'm encouraging ds1 to learn to "defend" himself by moving out of the way, using distraction, etc. but sometimes he's getting frustrated with this and getting a little rough with the little guy when he holds him back (not really bad, just more than usual for his lovely mellow self).
how can I prevent this from becoming a bigger problem between them? is this "just a phase" or do I need to get more proactive? ds2 is quite rough with me, papa, dd (13), and the cat, but not to the degree that he is with ds1. ds2 is teething big time, and is very active, determined, and spirited, so he's a big contrast to his very relaxed, gentle, easygoing older bro - I'm just not used to how to deal with this kind of intense energy - help! TIA
so ds1 is 9 yo and a very gentle, sensitive boy. his younger brother, ds2, is a bit of a wild man, very sweet but also very rough and extremely strong for his age. ds2 loves big bro, but often "attacks" him physically, scratching his face, pulling his hair, pinching hard, etc. when ds2 is reading, relaxing, etc. it's probably a misguided attempt to engage big bro and get some attention, but it really hurts ds1, and it also frustrates him and makes him sad, understandably. I'm not quite sure what to do. I try to foresee and prevent possible attacks, but sometimes they come out of the blue. If I am right there when it's happening, I say "that hurts t, it makes him sad when you do that! be gentle with t!" or something similar. often ds 2 will then throw his head back, wail, then bring his head down to the floor in a fit of sad rage. drama king or what! I then watch to make sure he doesn't hurt himself, try to distract him, and often just wait for the mood to pass (it usually doesn't last long, luckily). I'm encouraging ds1 to learn to "defend" himself by moving out of the way, using distraction, etc. but sometimes he's getting frustrated with this and getting a little rough with the little guy when he holds him back (not really bad, just more than usual for his lovely mellow self).
how can I prevent this from becoming a bigger problem between them? is this "just a phase" or do I need to get more proactive? ds2 is quite rough with me, papa, dd (13), and the cat, but not to the degree that he is with ds1. ds2 is teething big time, and is very active, determined, and spirited, so he's a big contrast to his very relaxed, gentle, easygoing older bro - I'm just not used to how to deal with this kind of intense energy - help! TIA
