4 yo old waking to pee 3 am - then up all night

[kananaskismama]

Our DD is 4 1/2. She doesn't wear a diaper at night and is fully potty trained. She sleeps from 6:30 -7:00 pm until 3:00 - 4:00 am-ish and then comes into our bedroom. I think she is waking up because she has to pee because if I put her on the potty she will go. But then she won't get back to sleep. She wants to sleep in our bed but she tosses and turns and kicks and grabs. Neither DH or I can sleep with her restlessness. We all end up exhausted in the morning.
If I put DD back into her bed she does not go back to sleep. She keeps coming into our room to snuggle.
She needs 11 hours of sleep to be a happy girl. We've tried bedtime earlier and bedtime later - she still gets up early. Later bedtime means crankier DD. She has a glass of water with supper at 4:30-5:00 and then some water when she is brushing her teeth at bedtime.
I'm wondering if I should limit beverages after a certain time but how long before bed. She is such an active girl that she says she is thirsty often. I don't want to deprive her of water but I don't know how long we can go with her night waking.
Any ideas/thoughts are appreciated.

[honeybunmom]

If I recall correctly (and sheesh, it was only about a year ago!), when my dd was still waking at night to go to the bathroom, I would rock her back to sleep. Is your daughter open to any kind of soothing to get her back to sleep? The other thing my husband would do is lay down in her room with her. On the hardwood floor. I never did this, but, if someone in your house is willing to do so, it may help. Fortunately, it didn't last forever, and actually thought sleeping on the floor was good for his back.

[sapphire_chan]

: missed the bit where you'd say you'd already tried moving the bedtime around.

Also, maybe experiment with other activities? It's counter intuitive, but for some kids doing something active can be more calming than something soothing.

[lonegirl]

Can she make up sleep with a nap? I can't imagine my 3 y/o going down at 630 (I don't even have dinner ready at that time ) I find if DS naps mid-late aft then down for the night later (after 10) he is good fo the night....otherwise if he falls asleep as early as 630 for him he will likely wakeup as DH is going to bed around 1 or 2a and be ready to go.

[_betsy_]

What if you put her on the potty earlier? Like, set an alarm for 2 a.m., get up and carry her to the bathroom, and carry her back when she's done? I do this with with my just-now out of overnight diapers DD (3 years, 3 months) and she can pee when I tell her to, and she goes right back to sleep in her own bed. I don't think she ever really wakes up when I do this.

Maybe just changing her routine for a week or so will get her back to longer sleep stretches?

[journeymom]

Can you just tell her that after she uses the toilet it's time to go back to sleep? I mean, I did this same thing when I was that age. I got up to pee and wanted Mom to get up with me, but she'd have nothing to do with that. She said No, it's the middle of the night, we're all sleeping, go back to bed.

Come to think of it, my son did this, too. He'd take himself to the restroom, but then wake me up to tell me about it. I told him good job, now go back to bed and go to sleep.

[snoopy5386]

I would try taking her to the potty when you go to bed. She might be groggy enough at that point to just go back to sleep. I would even use a potty chair in her room as to not go as far.

[PatchChild]

What about putting a small potty in her room? Then, even if it's with your help, she can potty where it is dark and not even have to leave her room. Less jarring might mean becoming less awake.

[kananaskismama]

Hello Mamas,
Thank you for your suggestions. They are very helpful. Last night I woke DD up before I went to bed and brought her to the potty and sure enough, she needed to go. She slept a lot longer tonight and woke up closer to 5. This is a big difference for us. We will try it again tonight.

Her bathroom is close but she prefers coming into our bedroom bathroom to go. I was wondering about a potty in her room but she may not have the initiative to use it. She will hold her pee in the night until someone takes her to the potty or until she is so uncomfortable that she can't wait a second longer. She won't go to the bathroom on her own.

I forgot to add that if she is up too early then we run the risk of her waking her siblings up. They sleep in.

She is much happier this morning.
Thank you for your help.

[Autumn Breeze]

Honestly it doesn't sound like it's the potty keeping her up to me. It sounds like she's had 8 hours of sleep and is feeling rested and ready for her day to begin.

Perhaps getting outside (if possible) after dinner and seeing if you can't stretch it out and get her down closer to 8. Yeah, she might be cranky and tired, but honestly I don't see how you are going to keep going and be "happy mom" if you're waking at 3:30 everyday and having to deal with this.

She may need a short nap for a few days and may not be all smiles and delight while adjusting her bedtime, but that is what I would probably focus on.


My daughter is 4, and wakes when she wets, she's disoriented and angry that she's not asleep and I'm asking her what's wrong. Because I've been asleep I'm groggy and not thinking "she's peed" as soon as I get up. Once I change her she goes right back to sleep. She goes to bed between 8 and 9, and gets up around 8 in the morning.

[journeymom]

Originally Posted by kananaskismama

Hello Mamas,
Thank you for your suggestions. They are very helpful. Last night I woke DD up before I went to bed and brought her to the potty and sure enough, she needed to go. She slept a lot longer tonight and woke up closer to 5. This is a big difference for us. We will try it again tonight. ...

She is much happier this morning.
Thank you for your help.

Hurrah!