I never did an actual birth plan. I did get a few things my way for my fifth one, and it was the least traumatizing. It varies from person to person, but things that were important for me:
1) Stitches, not staples, to close the incision. I'd had staples the first four times, and couldn't believe how much more comfortable I was in the first few days with the stitches. It was by far my least painful initial recovery, even though I also had a tubal (and from talking to other women who have had sections both with and without a tubal, "with" usually hurts more). I've also had wound infections twice, from places where staples tore out/twisted, and the incision didn't close properly.
2) DH was able to be there for the spinal. In most cases, the partner can't come in until after the anesthetic is administered. Since I find the anesthetic almost as scary as the surgery (I'm okay with needles...but not in my spine), that made a big difference. This one depends on the doctor handling the anesthetic, and you may not be able to get your way (they bent over backwards for me, because apparently moms who have lost babies deserve consideration more than the rest of you). For me, at least, it was gold.
3) Breastfeeding asap. I was told I couldn't nurse in OR, because of the small space between my chin and the drape. However, my L&D nurse (who accompanied me into OR) was a former nurse midwife from the UK (she didn't actually tell me that in so many words, but it's my best guess, based on bits and pieces of conversation). When dd2 started crying in OR, she said, "it sounds like she's a little hungry - would you like to try nursing?". Ummm...YES, YES, YES!! DH and the L&D nurse held dd2 over my shoulder - top of her head pointed at my feet - and she nursed while the OB was doing the tubal. YAY!!
Our hospital is pretty good about these things, but many people I know have had their glasses taken away, and their hands tied down. Find out about things like that. It's not something I've had to deal with.
Find out about policies re: food. When I had my first, they wouldn't let me have any food until I'd passed gas. Yeah...after 3.5 days, I lied. It's really, really hard to recover from surgery, establish breastfeeding, and cope with the post-partume hormonal changes, with nothing but juice, coffee, water, and broth for 5 days (hadn't really eaten for quite a while during labour, either). I usually get dh to bring me fruit in the hospital. It helps a lot.
With breastfeeding, figure out what works for you, and go with it. The nurses will almost certainly push both the "football" hold and side-lying. Neither of these works really well for me. Side lying is painful and the football hold just doesn't work.
Most people swear by getting up and walking asap. I honetly haven't found that it makes that much difference in my recovery, but I can't argue with the numbers. In general, it seems to help a lot.
Think about pain management ahead of time. The standard is to use a morphine derivative (think it's called duramorph?). I don't like it, because it makes me itch. I had a patient-controlled pump last time. I liked it a lot better. I only got pain management when I wanted it.
Also, make it clear that you want to be informed about what drugs you're receiving. I was given a sedative without being told during my first. The anesthesiologist added the morphine stuff with my third - I'd planned to refuse it, but I wasn't given the option, as I didn't know he was giving it to me until after the fact. Specify that you be informed of all medications prior to administration.
hmmm....that's all I've got at the moment...
