? about comfort nursing another child

[MadiMamacita]

I have no problem either nursing another mother's child, or having another mother nurse my child. I left him for the afternoon with my midwife when he was about 9 months old (and super clingy) and came back to find her nursing him. I was glad, because I knew he was upset.

So the other day I was watching a friends 12 month old. She had left milk for her DD. I gave her one bottle, and she was signing "more" and "milk" so I made her another bottle. halfway through the second bottle she pushed the bottle away and signed "milk" over and over. So it seemed she wanted to nurse, and didn't just want the milk. (I didn't nurse her, because I hadn't discussed that with the mom, and because I thought I remembered an elimination diet at some point and I didn't want to screw anything up.)

I was talking to my mom about it, after the fact, and she was saying that since she was older, (12 months) and clearly not just hungry because she was pushing her own milk away, that it might be weird to comfort nurse an older infant. (FWIW, when I was a baby she had left me with a friend of hers who nursed me without talking about it with my mom and my mom didn't like that she did that, but she seems generally ok with people cross-nursing)

Any thoughts on this??

[mamabutterfly]

i'm generally good w/nursing among friends in theory, but agree w/ you about needing to okay it w/other mama first, & that i do think of it as a thing for infants that take BM exclusively. at least IME, older babies & toddlers are comfort nursing as much for the relationship with their own mama as for the milk. My dd's by 12 months would take water, food, etc for nourishment. wanting to nurse was about missing me (or needing to sleep). I think many toddlers wouldn't nurse w/someone else.

One big exception could be a longer absence for emergencies (like disasters, hospitalization, etc). Then I'd like to think an older baby even might be comforted y nursing with a close caregiver or relative, friend, etc.

[EmilyG]

I would only do it with the other mommys concent first, the age of the child wouldn't really matter to me, well within reason, lol!

[RheaSilva]

I can't wrap my mind around comfort nursing someone else's child or having someone else comfort nurse mine. To me, it is an intensely personal act that is a special thing between my child and me.

If, however, the child was starving (for example, when Selma Hayak fed an orphan in Sierra Leone last year), or course I would do it. But just for comfort, not so much.

[InMediasRes]

No, I don't think I would for an older child, unless it was okayed or suggested by mom, or if it was for an emergency. With mom's okay, I wouldn't hesitate with a younger baby.

For my own...I might be okay with a close friend or relative nursing, but I don't think my kids would take someone else's boob.

[doubledutch]

i wouldn't want someone to nurse my baby without asking me, and i definitely wouldn't want someone to comfort nurse my kid while just watching them for a few hours (or the day) under normal circumstances like, um, my child is fed and signing milk. if the circumstances were more like, baby needs food and i'm not available and there is no pumped milk, fine; baby is freaking out due to some kind of trauma and i'm not available, again, fine. but just because you think she wants to nurse? no.