Anyway to deal with cursing in front of DC when at another persons house?

[gbailey]

Is it polite to gently ask a person not to curse in front of your child when you are at their home? I ask because DD is at the stage where she repeats everything and I'd like to not have a 21 month old whose using curse words. If we have guests at our apartment and they curse, I have no issue telling them they can't curse in front of DH but at someone else's place?

We're visiting our in laws soon and while I'm not worried when we are at FIL's apartment (he doesn't curse), I am worried about DH's mother. Every other word out of her mouth is f, s or b. For the time we may be in her home (hopefully short), is it polite to ask her not to curse in front of DD? Cursing is rather natural to MIL and she curses rather freely in front of her other grandchildren (the youngest is 4). But the 4 year old uses words that if DD used towards me I would be upset and on this site posting for ways to nip it in the bud. He doesn't just curse but he uses the words in the right context. He's told his mother to "shut up, b*tch."

Is there an easier solution like me just taking DD and leaving the room? DH asking her to not curse in front of DD is like asking her not to breathe.

[Jenifer76]

My Mom curses like a pirate but she does try to tone it down in front of the kids. Mostly. I guess the best thing you can do is just ask her to please watch what she says because your DD is in a repeating stage -- though if it is second nature she might slip.

[Porcelain Interior]

I have a bigger issue with name calling using curse words than an F bomb sneaking out in an excited outburst- not angry, just excited.

Usually what I do is say "Beep!" And do a kind of cringy face....or I say "Tiny ears!" and usually the person will say "Oh sorry!"

We pretty much avoid people that swear incessantly. I can't stand listening to it and find it grating and ignorant sounding.

My kids know that talking like that won't get you very far- and they also know that everyone slips up and that it's a very hard habit to break. I am not so worried about them hearing it- rather than I am them thinking it's acceptable to talk like that.

I know there are varying opinions on it- and some think words are just words, but I'm in the words are very powerful group and prefer not to hear F this and F that unless there's been some sort of horrible accident or dastardly deed committed.

[pauletoy]

Well, I know you said that asking dh wouldn't work but he is really just going to have to have the conversation. Either grandma controls her mouth or you don't go to her house. I would not compromise on this situation.

[Drummer's Wife]

1. Ask her to control her language while around your LO.

2. Don't go or take LO out of the room when she is around.

3. Ignore it, and know that chances are your LO won't be talking like your nephew just b/c she has heard those words on that visit.

Really, I think if it's a big deal to you (and I understand, even though I use a lot of colorful language myself) then you or your DH needs to talk to the grandma. A polite way would just be to explain your issue with her cursing, and ask her nicely to avoid it in front of your LO.

[kalirush]

Well, I mean, you can ask her nicely- chances are she will try, but will slip up several times. But you really can't control what she does in her own home.

I'd also just add that I swear a great deal, and I've never prevented my kids from being exposed to those words (I'm really in the "they're just words camp"), and my daughter has never picked up/repeated profanity. The less big a deal you make of them, the less your daughter is likely to think they're fun and interesting, I find.

[gbailey]

Originally Posted by Drummer's Wife

1. Ask her to control her language while around your LO.

2. Don't go or take LO out of the room when she is around.

3. Ignore it, and know that chances are your LO won't be talking like your nephew just b/c she has heard those words on that visit.

Really, I think if it's a big deal to you (and I understand, even though I use a lot of colorful language myself) then you or your DH needs to talk to the grandma. A polite way would just be to explain your issue with her cursing, and ask her nicely to avoid it in front of your LO.

Thank you and everyone else who responded. I misworded my comments about DH. He has no problem asking her but if he does it's like asking his mother not to breathe. What I meant by that is cursing is so part of her everyday language that asking her to not curse is like asking her to not breathe because I'm not sure she can/chooses to control it.

This is his mothers first time seeing our 21 month old DD (long story I've posted about in the parents as partners section) and I wish the cursing thing wasn't an issue for me but it really does bother me. Fortunately, the trip is a VERY short one (). If she slips up I don't mind saying "tiny ears" or "beep" (thanks porcelain). When I get there I may also ignore it. I want this to be a stress free few days.