silly question about names

[snoopy5386]

So right now we are involved in a very active moms group with lots of moms and kids. Part of me feels weird about choosing a name that one of the kids in the group has even though I know there is a 95% chance I won't socialize with most of these people in a few short years. Part of the problem is we don't have any names we really love, I guess it wouldn't matter as much then. But for instance a mom I am pretty close with just had a girl 3 weeks ago and named her Alexa. We are having a girl in 3 months and one of the names on our list is Alexis. I feel like I can't use the name now, it is too similar.
Am I just being silly?

[RedOakMomma]

Yes, you're being silly, but I understand. My step-brother's girlfriend, who isn't really a close part of the family at all, gave birth to a girl just before our daughter joined our family. She named her Evelyn, the name we'd been planning on for OUR daughter for years.

We ended up changing names, partly because we weren't sure if this little Evie darling would be a bigger part of our family or not. Turns out she hasn't been, and using the name would have been totally fine.

In the end we chose a different name, one that we weren't as wild about, but it's become a name we love because it's HERS.

I would go with the name you love. Your daughter has a whole lifetime ahead of her...there's no reason to change something so important as a name because of a playgroup friend. On the other hand, if you do change it, I'll bet that you'll love the new name just as much.

[xixstar]

Hi there! No you totally can't use that name because it's Alex's name -- just joking, of course; plus Alex stopped liking her full name when she was in pre-K. I'm having the EXACT same problem. There are a couple names I really like but they're names that other parent's have used, including some families that I feel a bit closer to than others, and I too feel a little funny about using the name.

But since I've already majorly broken this taboo by naming Sara after my grandmother when dh already has a niece named Sarah (that lives in FL and we never see), I guess I'll just have to go with whatever we come up with... because honestly, there aren't that many names I actually like, so limiting it even further may leave us with "Hey You"....

I find it very amusing that you're having the same thoughts though.

[LittleBirdy]

Totally understand how you feel but I wouldn't worry about it! My sister and I were both given names of children my mother knew who were just a tad older than us. I haven't seen the kid I was "named after" since I was about 3 (I think I met him 2 or 3 times - yes him, my mom likes to feminize boys names for her girls ) and my sister hasn't seen the kid she was "named after" since kindegarten when we moved and starting going to a new school.

Nobody owns a name, ya know? The only way I could see someone getting upset would be if you named your kid the same name as one of its cousins. That would be a little much.

[Pinoikoi]

I really liked Ysabella until BIL told me that his new daughter will be Annabella.. bummer.

[MaerynPearl]

We have had Alexander picked out for years, my son is in boyscouts now and his den leader has a son named Alexander. We aren't going to change the name we love just because we associate with people with a son named Alexander. Especially since it is a fairly common name.

Now if anyone stole my daughters name I would be furious. But it is a long-standing family name (she is the first to have it as a first name, but it was my mother and great grandmothers middle names and my great great grandmothers surname, but its an uncommon surname and makes a beautiful girl name. You would never know it was a surname!)

I have never once found another person with that particular name (and I do avoid sharing her actual name, even when we are out and about just because I do not want people taking it. Its a beautiful but very unique name and means a lot to my family. once she starts school I fully expect her to be called by a nickname.)

however, my son is Matthias. And that is a common name... its not horribly common, but more common than hers.

So I think it depends on just how very very very attached you are to a name and how unique it actually is (rather than how unique you think it is) on whether or not changing a name because someone else has the same/a similar one is silly.

[BlackSheepPDX]

This is why I don't tell anyone my name choices ahead of time. Everyone knows someone, or has an opinion about it, and ultimately it's a decision that you should make on your own, without worrying about what anyone else thinks.

We didn't share our names, and neither did another couple in our birth class, and we had our babies within days of each other, and named them basically the same thing. Wuteva....it's the name we both picked and loved!

[snoopy5386]

Originally Posted by xixstar

Hi there! No you totally can't use that name because it's Alex's name -- just joking, of course; plus Alex stopped liking her full name when she was in pre-K. I'm having the EXACT same problem. There are a couple names I really like but they're names that other parent's have used, including some families that I feel a bit closer to than others, and I too feel a little funny about using the name.

But since I've already majorly broken this taboo by naming Sara after my grandmother when dh already has a niece named Sarah (that lives in FL and we never see), I guess I'll just have to go with whatever we come up with... because honestly, there aren't that many names I actually like, so limiting it even further may leave us with "Hey You"....

I find it very amusing that you're having the same thoughts though.

too funny Karen! Like I said, part of the problem is we don't really have any names we really love - ironically all of the names I really love got vetoed by DH because they are two similar to people in his family - even though we NEVER see them (although he has a cousin named Alexa too, I'm NOT bringing her up, I think he has forgotten!) or because my family members that we are close to already have the name - aka Morgan's cousin is Samantha, I love that name, but I'm not going to pick it now that her 18 month old cousin is named that.
And yes, I was thinking of you Alex too!

[Tiffanoodle]

I'm guilty of vetoing names because people in my family or friends have them. dh will veto them just because he knew someone once who had that name and didn't like them. However, this time I'm drawing the line at not choosing a name just because my Aunt's SIL (absolutely no relation to me) has a teenage son with the same name. And yes, my mom did tell me I shouldn't use the name because of that. My dh's ex-gf, who we're still in close contact with, named her son Matthew. I thought that was kind of weird. I know it's an extremely common name, but I doubt my dh would be cool with me using an ex's name for one of our children.

[rightkindofme]

Our only rule for stuff like this is, "No names of girl/boy friends." Unfortunately for us that rules out a LOT of names. Otherwise, go for it. Life is long and it won't matter how many people share the same name.

[Tizzy]

I think it totally depends on what you and your partner like.
For DH and I, if we know of another person with that name, we really don't like to recycle. Unless that person was totally awesome and gave us really good vibes then it's a "cool" name and we'll consider it for our kids.
I just REALLY prefer that my kids have individual names, that's all!