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Postpartum Thread

post #1 of 141
Thread Starter 

How are you doing? How is your baby (or babies) doing? How are you feeling about your body? I would love to hear how everyone is doing!

I'm having a bit of a difficult time with breastfeeding. Other than that, things are going well. Baby is so alert and is getting so chubby!

I hate that I'm going to ask, but is anyone else not bonded to their baby? For as much as we breastfeed, I would think I would be. I actually think the breastfeeding is why I'm not feeling bonded to him yet.


Edited by Mulvah - 10/16/11 at 11:03am
post #2 of 141
Good idea for a thread!

Sophie will be 4 days old in 2.5 hours and is doing great. My milk came in yesterday and fortunately breastfeeding has been going great (my ds and I had a difficult start).
I'm doing pretty good too but I'm exhausted and I'm quite pale so my m/w has started me on palefer (sp?) to up my iron levels. Hopefully that'll do something. Also have had a headache for two days now, happens all the time when I'm overtired.
I'm feeling a little lonely already. My dh went back to work today (he's self employed) and since my ds has been such a difficult sleeper lately, eh's been sleeping in bed with him. Sophie and I have the big bed to ourselves which is nice but I feel like I never see my husband. And he slept from 730 until 630 last night and I'm feeling pretty miffed about it. I'm thankful that my ds slept that long too because of dh but still, I'm feeling pretty alone and I think he fell asleep with him tonight too. Grr!

Mulvah, Don't feel guilty that you haven't bonded yet! These things can take time... it's human nature. I didn't bond with Sophie at all during my pregnancy so I was worried that I'd have no interest in her when she was born, let alone a bond. I think because I get so much one on one time with her (you know, since she has her days and nights mixed up! lol) I've been able to bond quickly.
post #3 of 141
We are doing pretty well here. Elizabeth will be 4 weeks on Friday. Nursing is going great and she is filling in.

We bonded very well but I almost wonder if it had to do with how wonderful my birth experience was. With my second I had a long labor and was up for 3 days so I was pure exhausted. I did not feel as bonded to him and I had my first. It just took us a little more time. Don't beat yourself up about it.

As far as the body I am in my fat jeans, booo. But I am not feeling bad about my body. I think this is the best I have felt and looked after having a baby.
post #4 of 141
Good idea for a thread. I've been wondering how all the new mamas are doing, esp. w/nursing.
Alexander is a great little nurser. I have had no pain and no cracked nipples, and didn't even have too much engorgement when my milk first came in. My only complaint is that he takes. his. time. Seriously! He nurses for 10 minutes and then falls asleep, then wakes up and wants to nurse again. Repeat. Repeat. It's fine but with 2 older kids I don't have time to just nurse all day long!
As for my body, I'm still in my demi panel maternity jeans or yoga pants...he was 3 weeks on Monday and I have not been brave enough to try on regular pants yet. I need to though, we are invited to a dinner party on Saturday and I have no idea what I am going to wear....we got a sitter for the big kids and will take the baby with us. I'm looking forward to getting out of the house!
post #5 of 141
Oh and Mulvah, try not to feel guilty. The bonding will come! I'm sure of it. It can take time.
post #6 of 141
Edelweiss will be 5 weeks tomorrow so my official post-partum period is coming to a close. It has certainly been very different than my three previous births and babymoons. Edelweiss is an incredibly sweet and easy baby. She nurses perfectly and rarely ever cries. Our second baby was a classic high-needs baby so this is still a big treat!

Her birth was a nightmare. As you may recall, Edelweiss was discovered to be in an undeliverable face presentation 7cm into labor so we transferred to the hospital. In the car, she turned breech.

I had a c-section, developed a broad ligament hematoma and had emergency exploratory surgery a few hours after she was born. My husband thought he was watching me die. I had 3 blood transfusions, 2 CT scans, multiple ultrasounds, etc. Oh, and since she was born Christmas Eve and I had so many complications, we were in the hospital until 12-26 and we missed Christmas with our children.

My recovery has been very slow. My incision opened up weeks ago and is STILL being packed every other day by a visiting nurse. I am anemic. I feel traumatized by my hazy memories while I was bleeding internally. I am very grateful for my precious baby girl and grateful to be alive but really upset by what happened on her journey to us.

Sorry to dump on everyone here. I probably belong in the birth trauma section but I am sick of not belonging where I started out. I am doing better everyday but the truth is, it was a horrible experience from start (3 miscarriages in a row prior to conceiving Edelweiss) to finish (c-section, complications). My body and I are not on great terms right now.

Amy
post #7 of 141
Amy, you definitely belong here. We've all been through nine months together! It is okay to vent, talk, grieve as much as you need too...we are all here to listen. It is definitely not dumping...talking about it is probably the best thing you can do.

Ivy is doing great. The first few days were really rough, lots of crying, but she's settled down now that my milk has come in full force. I pumped 8oz this morning for the freezer...it's a good start! It seems like we're going to move smoothly into four-in-the-family-bed, too. Surprisingly, no issues there!

DD1 is handling all of this like a champ. She loves touching the baby and calls her "baby sister"...and then moves on to puzzles or Little Bear. No jealousy or hurt feelings yet. We had a rough day together yesterday - our first alone the three of us - but we've made up and I've resolved to really work on my patience. Now that I'm not pg anymore I'm ready to start working more diligently on potty learning...she's been showing readiness for some time and now her cloth diapers just aren't absorbent enough, so I'm ready to give it the college try. Off to Target in a bit to build my arsenal.

I'm taking Ivy to the ped today for her check-up appt. XF that it goes well and I don't get harassed too much about my homebirth. The doc is great but the nurses really gave me the business about DD1 last time. I'm hoping he'll do the PKU. Last time it went round and round until finally I just signed the state waiver. This time I'd really like to get it done...hoping I don't need to go to the hospital to do it.
post #8 of 141
Amy, I agree with seaherioine. You do belong here.

Hmmm, well baby is doing really well, she is 2 wks old today. I have mastitis and am in alot of pain, 102 fever for the past two days so I just started antibiotics and hope I don't end up with thrush or a yeast infection. She nurses like a couple of other babies here - 10 mins and falls asleep and then is awake an hour later to eat again. She is also a chomper, when she feeds, she gnaws on my nipples. Very painful, I can't figure out if its a tension thing on her end or a too fast letdown issue on my end. She has a couple sleepy periods in the late afternoon and evening - precisely when I can't sleep and is still having trouble sleeping at night. We gave up on the crib the second night and she is sleeping with us which is going alot better than I thought it would, I'm still scared half the time that its not safe for her but so far we've had no problems.

I started going back to class a week after the birth and was able to pump enough for that and so far have been able to keep that up which is great as I was really worried about it. School has been difficult, I just have a hard time concentrating because I am pretty tired but its not been terrible so far.

As for bonding, I am not bonding as fast with this LO as I did with my son. I don't know if its because I have other things occupying my mind or not. DS has had somewhat of a rough time of it and we are working on that. OTOH, DH is absolutely smitten with baby and has done a complete 180 from the man I knew before her birth - the kind of man that didn't really care about anything or anyone has suddenly become a father. Its a sweet thing to see.

I have lost 30 pounds (courtesy of all the excess fluid I had) but still have 40 to go. I am still in maternity shirts and pants, mostly to hide the rolls and chub although my uterus has shrunk quite a bit. I am not that hungry ever and forget to eat half the time, quite a change from being pregnant. I have to force myself to stay hydrated so my milk doesn't suffer.
post #9 of 141
Griffin is such a little love.

He's now four days old and latched on perfectly once my milk showed up. Sadly, I do miss my daughter's "power nursing" (five minutes to empty a breast) days because this kid stays latched for 30-40 minutes. Suck suck suck. It's pretty sweet though.

I'm at four pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight and feeling pretty good. My energy is ok, although tired. If you read my birth story you might remember that my whole left labia was literally hanging on by a thread. It's a bitch to sit, move around, bend on to the toilet, etc. I finally checked it out via mirror today and nothing about my lady parts look very appealing right now. Perhaps I'll go see Dr. Rey in 90210 someday.

Overall, we're doing well. My daughter keeps telling me "I love our baby, Mama. I'm so happy he's here." I swear to god, I love that kid!
post #10 of 141
Angela, no! Never, never look! Nothing good can come from looking! I looked once....

Hugs to you. I'll be thinking of you and your labia

Amy
post #11 of 141
Good idea! I've been MIA here because it's been, well, busy . I miss knowing how everyone is doing.

Amy - hang in there! You are my hero for having gone through so much during your daughter's birth. It WILL get better. And, yes, you belong here.

I am ok. I got Bell's Palsy again a week after Rosie's birth (half facial paralysis that pregnant women are more susceptible to getting - apparently caused by a virus) and it was much more severe this time around. I was fully paralyzed for 2 1/2 weeks. It stunk. It's much much better now (5 weeks postpartum). I now have a cold, but I can deal with that - at least I'm not drooling and I can close my left eyelid! My body recovered remarkably well - in fact I felt fine just a few days postpartum. I had no tearing and a smooth birth. That was a blessing.

I am also in my fat jeans, but I'm glad I'm at least in those! Still feel most comfortable in my yoga pants. I have between 10-15 pounds to lose, but that's fine. It takes me a while to lose the weight - I'm hoping to be back in shape by the time Rosie is 6 months or so. Slow to gain, slow to lose... My husband likes me this way (he is WEIRD ) - but that helps me tremendously not to worry so much about a few extra pounds.

Rosie is delightful. She's a great nurser, was from the start, is starting to get her sleep sorted out. She doesn't fuss much, but has a little temper to let me know she's no fading flower. Her big brother loves her and is getting better about her day by day. He's learning to be quiet when she's going down for naps, and is really sweet to her, by and large.

So that's us! Hope to hear more from you all as time goes on...
post #12 of 141
Quote:
Originally Posted by jtrt View Post
Hugs to you. I'll be thinking of you and your labia
You and my old man! Lots of labia love around here.
post #13 of 141
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mulvah View Post
How are you doing? How is your baby (or babies) doing? How are you feeling about your body? I would love to hear how everyone is doing!
I'm okay! My family returned to the other coast and my MIL is here till mid Feb. It's wonderful to have the help but kinda when its the ILs. My stiches are gone .... I think. PP bleeding has slowed way down. Emotionally I'm alright. I encapsulated my placenta and I'm ingesting that. I think it's helping.

Baby is great!! He's a lazy nurser but he's a natural. We are in love. He seems mellow but you never know. He sleeps a lot. We snuggle at night and I just love it. He puts his head on my breast like a pillow. Some nights he sleeps well, some nights not so much. Some nights he wants to sleep on me, some nights he's content beside me. I've been wearing him since day 2 (mostly tummy to tummy in a MT or Moby), but it's still hard to attend to his needs simultaneously with DDs.

Speaking of DD... tandeming is weird. I'm not a big fan. She would nurse all day long if her brother wasn't constantly attached to my boobs. I'm ready to wean DD She is having an extremely rough time with all this. I'm trying to be gentle and patient. It's hard to watch DH and ILs be insensitive to her, or at least I perceive it as insensitive. Ugh. And the looks I get when she wants to nurse. I feel like I have to remove us from the room to nurse - which I do, but I resent that since this is my house.

My body is squishy and pale. I'm in my regular clothes and at prepreg weight but I have lost all muscle tone and cardiovascular fitness. My pallor is apparently so bad that the receptionist at the pediatrician felt compelled to comment, for SEVERAL MINUTES, on how sickly and off my color is. Thanks. Really. I needed that.

Lizbiz - sorry about the bells palsy. Glad Rosie is such a delight.

Angela - You seriously rock but I have to say that I whenever I think of amy commenting on your labia and sending in that general direction. I looked after DDs birth and pretty much have never, ever looked again. She was born in 07.

Amy - ditto to seaheroine. You belong with us, and maybe also on birth trauma, but here first.

Remijo - I hope the mastitis heals up soon!
post #14 of 141
Panda is such a wonderful baby. She is such a good nurser and sleeper, not at all fussy. She loves taking showers with us. I can't believe her cord fell off on day 3. She came at the perfect time too. I had just had 5 days off of work and was going to be going back on Sat, but I didn't have to when I went into labor friday night. and when she came we had a warm front so the weather went from being like 20 to 60. ]

Work is jerking me around though, I was only planning on taking a vacation but they told me that I had to take FMLA because I was taking off more than 2 weeks. That's not a big deal but I have to get a release to go back to work before I can go back to work and if I can't get it before I am scheduled to go back to work (on the 6th) I will be fired. Pretty crappy way of being treated after working there for 3 years. So I have no insurance and no Dr, hopefully a walk in clinic can give me what I need, I'm not going to tell them that it's for child birth because if I did then they won't give me the paper since they don't do OB care (which I don't need or want) Such a PITA. I have to spend $150 for a lousy piece of paper.
post #15 of 141
Max is a week old today. The hardest thing so far has been nursing. My nipples are in so much pain! I didn't have an issue at all with cracked nipples or pain with my daughter, so I wasn't expecting this. I think it might be partly because he is just a super sucker! He is a great nurser. My milk came in right away, so I will deal with the pain. My milk didn't come in with my daughter for 5 days and that was after pumping like crazy. I am just happy we are not dealing with that again.

Max's big sister has been doing well. There have been a couple of times where she gets upset about things and it seems she might be stressed a bit, but other than that she hasn't shown any signs of anything but happiness to be a big sister. She loves to touch his ears and nose and loves it when he grabs her finger.

I am feeling pretty good. Since his birth went so well I haven't been dealing with the sleep deprivation like I did with DD. My DH is so much more help this time around too. He even managed putting on a prefold this morning without any help. It's just really been nice.

I was worried that I wasn't as bonded with Max as with his sis. I just think it's different the second time around. As every day goes by I feel more and more bonded to him, so I am not as worried about that as I was at first.

Oh, and Max lost his umbilical cord stump last night. He is growing up so fast.
post #16 of 141
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faliciagayle View Post
Speaking of DD... tandeming is weird. I'm not a big fan. She would nurse all day long if her brother wasn't constantly attached to my boobs. I'm ready to wean DD She is having an extremely rough time with all this. I'm trying to be gentle and patient. It's hard to watch DH and ILs be insensitive to her, or at least I perceive it as insensitive. Ugh. And the looks I get when she wants to nurse. I feel like I have to remove us from the room to nurse - which I do, but I resent that since this is my house.
I remember those days when I had my second...DS was 2.5 and still going too, and I felt a lot of the same stuff. The good thing is that in a couple of weeks, you can really start setting more limits and then things get MUCH easier. And just ignore the dumb comments...people can be SO insensitive! Even if they don't agree with how you parent, they are a guest in your home so they can just keep their mouths shut or leave the room themselves! I have to say I just love the bond my first two have from tandem nursing, especially when he would reach over and hold her hand, or make her laugh so both are giggling at once with milk running down their chins...

Lizbiz - sorry about the bells palsy. Hope you get well from that soon!

Amy - ditto to seaheroine and Felicia gayle. You belong with us, and maybe also on birth trauma, but here first.

Sharlia - that sucks about your work! Hopefully you can get things worked out so that they don't fire you.

AFM....I just got home from the hospital last night. I had a good birth experience (those last couple of hours were TOUGH though!), and now have this gorgeous little baby girl who has hardly been put down at all with all the people adoring her. What sucks is that my son, DH, and mom are all sick with some nasty fever/diarrhea/throwup virus, and I just hope I and the baby don't get it!!!! Took baby Marissa to the ped today for weight check and checkup, and she is doing well...she has lost 10 oz since birth (she is 2 days old), but my full milk is coming in, and I expect that to change pretty soon.
post #17 of 141
Great thread!

My son is almost 4 weeks old now. Besides feeling tired, I am feeling much better physically from the birth. I have even contemplated looking at my labia with a mirror, but after hearing from others in this thread, I am reconsidering that. Maybe I will after my 6 week check-up confirms everything has healed.

My son is doing great. He is a good nurser, he doesn't cry much, and he is very cute with big bright eyes. However, I don't feel terribly bonded with him. I still have trouble believing he's my baby. DH is completely in love with him, so that is good. I wonder if it is because after the birth, DH held him as I was stitched up for 90 minutes, while I screamed in pain because it was the worst part of the birth experience. I think that was the prime bonding time.

I was really upset about the tear and I was resentful afterwards (mostly towards the nurse that coached me through the pushing phase, but I wonder if I subconsciously blame DS as well) and I feel frustrated with DS at night when I can't sleep, so I wonder if those things are affecting our bonding as well.
post #18 of 141
Thread Starter 
I loved reading how everyone is doing!

I cannot believe how difficult breastfeeding is, in general. My goal is 12 months, but I'm still taking one day at a time!

As for my weight, I still have 9 pounds to lose, but I actually am happier with how I look than I expected to be.

Quote:
Originally Posted by NSmomtobe View Post
...I don't feel terribly bonded with him. I still have trouble believing he's my baby....

...I feel frustrated with DS at night when I can't sleep, so I wonder if those things are affecting our bonding as well.
I feel the same way. And, I wondered if the marathon (night) nursing combined with the lack of sleep is contributing to it.



Quote:
Originally Posted by sunshadow View Post
...I am feeling pretty good. Since his birth went so well I haven't been dealing with the sleep deprivation like I did with DD....
I'm so happy for you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sharlla View Post
Panda is such a wonderful baby....
Love(!) her nickname.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Faliciagayle View Post
...He puts his head on my breast like a pillow.
Awwww.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lizbiz View Post
...My body recovered remarkably well - in fact I felt fine just a few days postpartum. I had no tearing and a smooth birth. That was a blessing....
I'm glad to hear it and that your paralysis is gone.

Quote:
Originally Posted by AfricanQueen99 View Post
...I'm at four pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight and feeling pretty good....
Hate you!

Quote:
Originally Posted by seaheroine View Post
...She loves touching the baby and calls her "baby sister"...and then moves on to puzzles or Little Bear. No jealousy or hurt feelings yet.
Too cute. I hope your doc appointment goes well.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jtrt View Post
...I am very grateful for my precious baby girl and grateful to be alive but really upset by what happened on her journey to us....


Quote:
Originally Posted by MiracleMama View Post
...I'm looking forward to getting out of the house!
Have fun!

Quote:
Originally Posted by mamakims View Post
I'm feeling a little lonely already....

Mulvah, Don't feel guilty that you haven't bonded yet! These things can take time... it's human nature. I didn't bond with Sophie at all during my pregnancy so I was worried that I'd have no interest in her when she was born, let alone a bond. I think because I get so much one on one time with her (you know, since she has her days and nights mixed up! lol) I've been able to bond quickly.
I'm sorry about the loneliness!

Thank you for the reassurance.
post #19 of 141
Amy and Angela, I hope your recovery is smooth from here on out. So glad you have your LOs to give you joy.
This is a great thread I love hearing about everyone!
We're here and doing great! "Baby formerly known as Hank" is almost 4 weeks old now and is such a love. He's a happy baby and we're doing the attachment parenting all the way and loving it. We've had some trouble nursing at first (flat nipples - so I had to use a shield) but we worked it out and he's gaining weight great. He is nursing on a boppy as I write this. We're also starting EC and having a great time (usually he'll pee a few minutes after you take off his diaper, and he would poo in the tub occasionally as well) . I LOVE LOVE LOVE co-sleeping (i was nervous at first, but we have a nice routine now, and everyone seems to get enough sleep most of the time). I'm learning to wear him in my sling and moby wrap. We're going to go for a walk with the dogs today if it isn't pouring and DH will carry him in a moby.
Bottom line - so far so good - I think we're getting a hang of this parenting a human baby thing. I do have to say our furkids were great training for us. And they love their little furless brother - lately they've taken to sneaking up on us while I'm breastfeeding and getting a few licks on his head.
My recovery was really smooth - it was a really smooth natural labor, I only had a small 2nd degree tear, and since it was medication free birth I had no side effects. DH kept commenting on how chipper I was - and I think it was mainly because I was no longer nauseous for the first time in 8 months. I still have about 10 lbs I'd eventually like to lose, but I already fit in most of my old clothes, and have the energy to do yoga again, yay!
post #20 of 141
I am doing ok. The breastfeeding has been tough for me too. She is just a difficult nurser. I ended up going to Urgent care yesterday and have mastitis and a bladder infection... yes its been horrible having a fever for the last three days along with racing heart, headache that won't stop etc..but luckily on antibiotics and should start to feel better. I hope you are all doing well. I am feeling pretty crummy but I do have a beautiful baby and everything else is going well. My son who is almost 4 has really adjusted well to the baby and he is so loving with her. Other than that I am doing well.

Luv Luv Luv Happywife101 (Patty)
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