Postpartum Thread - Page 4

[Astraia]

remijo the back arching and biting down on your nipple says overactive letdown to me. I had that with DD (with oversupply). The milk was comign out too fast for her to handle so she would bite down on my nipple to try to slow the flow and then arch her back and pull off or fight me because she was choking and couldn't swallow fast enough. We did block feedings for the oversupply and for the overactive letdown.... eh, we did nothing for that. She got bigger and could handle the flow, and when she couldn't she'd just break suction and let the extra milk dribble out the side. //////// (this is a new paragraph, lol). Marinak, my daughter did the same thing with the strain to poop. Not that she was constipated, it just seemed to take a lot of work and concentration to figure out what muscles she was supposed to use to get it out. With DD I also had the initial pain on latching, but for some reason my milk wouldn't let down if I didn't get that initial pain. I never figured out if the letdown itself was painful or if it was the latch...? /////// We moved DD to her own room yesterday. She would wake up the baby, the baby would wake up her and no one was sleeping. First night in her new room was a disaster. She went down easy but was up a lot and refused to go back to sleep from 10 pm to 1 am, which was frustrating for all of us. DS is starting to 'wake up' a bit more and has periods of 10 to 15 min where he looks around and makes faces. Stll nursing like crazy... cries if I put him down, and usually cries if I give hiim to DH but we're persisting. I feel like an awful mother to DD, and I do wear DS a lot in a wrap or pouch sling but find it irritating after a couple of hours. DH is drivign me bonkers. Being overall pretty useless and whiney. He IS getting up with DDD whenever she wakes up at night, but he does it all wrong and it irritates me. He doesn't understand that DD is a TODDLER and pays no attention to her during the day (or the wrong attention, like he watches TV and holds her and ignores her squirms to get down until she gets mad, then he gets mad at her for being angry... grr) and i'm getting really frustrated by his lack of attentive parenting.

[remijo]

Originally Posted by Astraia

remijo the back arching and biting down on your nipple says overactive letdown to me. I had that with DD (with oversupply). The milk was comign out too fast for her to handle so she would bite down on my nipple to try to slow the flow and then arch her back and pull off or fight me because she was choking and couldn't swallow fast enough. We did block feedings for the oversupply and for the overactive letdown.... eh, we did nothing for that. She got bigger and could handle the flow, and when she couldn't she'd just break suction and let the extra milk dribble out the side.

Astraia -I would think this too except that she's done it from birth, even before my milk came in. I am sorry about your DH.

AfricanQueen - other people have mentioned a chiro too but I am scared to death. I don't go to them myself, I don't really believe in the profession so I would find it really difficult to take her. In fact, I am so stubborn on this subject, I am more willing to handle the pain than take her to a chiro. (not so smart, I know.)

3.5 wks old and my baby fell asleep in her swing this morning!!! Yay, I am so happy - she hasn't slept since birth unless she's been in someone's arms. Normally, this wouldn't bother me. But since I am soon to become a single parent, I really need to know she can handle 10 minutes out of my arms without crying her pretty little head off. BTW, she loves the sleep sheep when I have it on the rain sound. She just adores the sound of falling water, calms her right down. Well, I should take advantage of her nap and take a shower. Hugs to everyone! Sounds like we have quite a range of babies out there, best wishes to everyone that is struggling in any way.

[AfricanQueen99]

Originally Posted by remijo

AfricanQueen - other people have mentioned a chiro too but I am scared to death. I don't go to them myself, I don't really believe in the profession so I would find it really difficult to take her. In fact, I am so stubborn on this subject, I am more willing to handle the pain than take her to a chiro. (not so smart, I know.)

Fair enough. When my daughter was an infant we had the exact same things you're mentioning. I took her to my Ped and was told she had reflux (to be honest, the Ped said that *all* kids are born with reflux, but most don't have any symptoms - something about their bodies not being fully developed) - put her on RX Prevacid and OTC Maalox (cherry flavor is the only one suitable for infants). I was told to be prepared for her to be on this regimen for a year. At that same time we started seeing a chiro and she was off all meds within a few months. I saw it more as HER being in pain and wanting that to end because the screaming out in pure pain was too much - she nursed around.the.clock. since the milk settled her stomach. If you don't want to have her see a chiro then maybe it's worth talking to her Ped about alternatives.

[carmen358]

Thanks, seaheroine - it's nice to hear other experiences with it...makes me panic less

indigo, sounds like your baby is going to be a big boy! 12 days....ack, it goes by fast!

[marinak1977]

Astraia - Hopefully DH will come around...

I am feeling a little less stressed about the prepooping thing - phew. Thank you for your input, as I hate seeing DS be uncomfortable.
Yesterday he was really upset, and would nurse to comfort, then break off and scream in pain and frustration, then nurse again. Then he pooped and tooted for a while and all was better. He was quite gassy so I'm sure it made everything worse. Usually he just grunts and squirms and flails around, and sometimes when he's trying to push he sounds like I did when I was pushing him out. He is truly trying to give birth to a food baby.
Apart from these episodes he is a really happy guy, so I'm very glad to hear that he's just learning. Phew!

Indigo - both your kiddos sound like a blast. Glad to hear the not so little one is gaining well.

remijo - , it's tough seeing your baby be uncomfortable...

[nola79]

Seaheroine- Thank you! I keep reminding myself that. The funny thing is, I really feel bonded to this baby right off the bat. With my son,it took a good 5 or 6 weeks before I felt really bonded to him. I loved him very much and cared for him well, it just took awhile for that feeling to kick in, or for me to realize it maybe.

[remijo]

Actually, baby doesn't seem to be that uncomfortable. The nurse mentioned she might be tense but she doesn't show many signs of that. She has started to need to nurse less so maybe it was just a growth spurt. And when she arches and tenses, its more of a stretchy thing than a discomfort thing. I think I am the only one in actual pain.

[Happiestever]

He is 2 weeks today!!!!! He is awake more often, and he's gorgeous. I can't wait to see him grow up and if he will look like my older ds. He has thin hair on the top which makes him resemble his grandad. I feel so lucky to have gotten such a great addition. He hardly ever fusses, only the last two nights when he wants to suck, but doesn't want milk. I went shopping for pacifiers today, since I had the same problem with my other two- I want to prevent the projectile milk overflow- as much for my sake as his own (a girl can only do so much laundry).

We went to Disneyland when he was 9 and 10 days old. Carried him in the wrap the entire time. He hardly made a peep. All that walking did make my bleeding heavier, but I was able to sit down a ton. Despite being only 10 days pp we had a BLAST!!!! I feel almost 100% back to normal. I am only spotting right now, which is a relief because I thought the bleeding would continue to be bad for quite some time.

My older two are so in love with him, my 3 yo wants to hold and kiss him all the time, and my 2 yo is very affectionate and gentle as well. What a relief I was scared how my 2yo would react, but she came right around.

I haven't left the house by myself with the three yet, and if our Costco trip yesterday is any indication, I will just be taking the baby LOL. It's raining right now, but I went to pick up my older ds a new carseat because LO really hates the bucket. I don't carry it anyway, so might as well switch to the convertible.

I am so in love right now and so thankful that things are going fairly smooth. I was expecting the worst so this is truly a blessing

[nola79]

Happiestever- That is great you're having such an easy time....your new one sounds a lot like my ds as a baby.

[mamakims]

I've been reading everyone's posts but I swear by the time I get to writing my own post my mommy brain kicks in and I can't remember a thing!

I do remember that I was LOLing to someone's comment about nursing a cheese grater and not feeling a thing though!

ugh.. I jinxed myself by saying ds was adjusting well. The past few days have been HARD. He's coming down with a cold and is miserable, seriously seriously miserable and hysterically cries and throws temper tantrums throughout the day. My patience is non-existent and it takes all my effort to not have a melt down. Although the past few days have had all three of us in tears. I thought newborns were supposed to cry the most but around here it's definitely the toddler followed closely by a stressed out momma!
I took the kids to the park today but parked the van about a 15 minute walk away. I left the stroller in the van thinking my 21 month old could walk it and it'd be nice as it's along the waterfront and tehre's sea planes and tug boats to look at. He did fine there but on the way back he cried the entire way back. And the last 5 minutes he was falling to the ground and screaming. It was absolute torture for all involved except Sophie who slept like a dream in the sling. Poor Parker, I had way too high expectations of him on that walk and he fell asleep within seconds of being in the van. Lesson definitely learned.

Things will get better, right? I know they will but sometimes I wonder what I got myself into....

Oh, and is anyone else being given bags and bags of clothing for their LOs? I love it but Sophie can't possibly wear everything she's been given so today my MIL said someone gave her two bags of 0-3 month sized clothing for Sophie and I said that we'll have al ook through to see what we could use but that we had too much as it was and that's we'll either return the rest or donate it. I didn't think it was rude but my MIL was SO offended. Next time I'll keep my mouth shut and just accept it I guess.

[mymary]

ok, just got over to this side. Haven't been able to read all the previous posts.

My surprise baby boy will be 72 hours tonight at 1234am.
I forgot how hard these first few days are. Yesterday was worse than today. Today I got extra sleep so right now I feel good.

Breastfeeding- this is my third baby, but my milk has not come in but I think its coming soon. I worry about him. He weighed 9 lbs 8 oz at birth and at the peds yesterday he was 8lbs 14oz. A loss of 10 oz. I hate this part. Worrying that he is wasting away! Jaundice too. Been looking after that closely. Trying to feed him as much as he wants. He doesn't have a real strong suck, but seems to know what to do. He does pull off and root around after a while. I dont know why, I just switch sides at that time.

The other biggest thing I noticed is the INCREDIBLE after pains I am having. WOAH! Probably would say they are as bad as labor or worse. They dont seem to stop while nursing. OMG. I didn't have this with my previous 2. Maybe because this one was almost a pound bigger? And third baby. I almost think something is wrong. My uterus gets so hard in there and balls up. Bleeding is normal if not scant.

Like I said, haven't read all the posts but is anybody else get sad after having your baby, thinking about how its over? I can get sad really easy about that. Thinking it might be the last time I will ever be pg or feel this again. Trying to hold on to the present and I cant. I have thoroughly enjoyed having children. Even though it can be so stressful and difficult. My children are beautiful. All of them.

My husband on the other hand I think is traumatized by this last one. He was home the last week and a half of the pg and was more involved in all the appts and stuff- all the stress of going past my due date and the baby being in a unstable lie and stuff. He says all of a sudden that three is a LOT. Oh really? He was the one who wanted unlimited children....He turned me into a monster!!! Ha Ha.

Any thoughts on those feelings or how to process them? The last child, the last pg, your children growing up?

[gabeyho]

Originally Posted by Astraia

He IS getting up with DDD whenever she wakes up at night, but he does it all wrong and it irritates me. He doesn't understand that DD is a TODDLER and pays no attention to her during the day (or the wrong attention, like he watches TV and holds her and ignores her squirms to get down until she gets mad, then he gets mad at her for being angry... grr) and i'm getting really frustrated by his lack of attentive parenting.

This is my dh to a tee. My poor dd needs that extra one-on-one right now; she loves her new little brother but is very aware that mommy has to nurse the baby all.the.time. So when she is getting to be naughty and bratty, and I say to dh she just needs some attention (like get down on the floor and play with her for 15 mins of your life!) he says "let's watch gabba!" and site down on the couch with her so he can space out and she is happy for all of 10 secs. ugh.

Anyhow, I am still here but becoming a lurker as I forgot all about having to NAK and I hate typing with one hand so I just stop posting. So far John-Paul sleeps great as long as he is nursing all night, but this is what I have done with all of my babies so it is annoying and I don't really enjoy cosleeping, but I do enjoy the sleep I get from cosleeping. Other than that, he is the most chill baby ever, thank goodness, and he is totally happy in his swing that I am so glad to have this time around, and seems to love his car seat even more!

On my end of things, as far as recovery and all that since I am only 10 days PP, I am ready to be done with bleeding and I want my body back, and I am ready to start exercising again (all over again) and I am pretty sure, for the first time ever, that I do not want to do this again; I love my kids, I love my babies, and i had the birth I always wanted this time (finally!), and I think I am ready to move on and have my body be mine, and to never have to get back in shape AGAIN. I am over it, and I am sure that's partly the hormones, but mostly it's from 5 kids in 7.5 years.

[gabeyho]

Originally Posted by mymary

The other biggest thing I noticed is the INCREDIBLE after pains I am having. WOAH! Probably would say they are as bad as labor or worse. They dont seem to stop while nursing. OMG. I didn't have this with my previous 2. Maybe because this one was almost a pound bigger? And third baby. I almost think something is wrong. My uterus gets so hard in there and balls up. Bleeding is normal if not scant.

He says all of a sudden that three is a LOT. Oh really? He was the one who wanted unlimited children....He turned me into a monster!!! Ha Ha.

Any thoughts on those feelings or how to process them? The last child, the last pg, your children growing up?

Oh, my after pains this time were HORRIBLE!! This was #5 for me, and for those first 3-4 days it was like the worst menstrual cramps EVER, even though me bleeding was much better than it's been in the past. It's true that the pains get worse each time, at least it has been true for me.

Imagine when my dh was standing there the second day with the new LO in his arms, and looking down at the other 4 who were all standing around him, and he suddenly says "Geez! We had a LOT of kids!"......duh!!

aaaahhh. I wish I had advice for you on feeling better about it maybe being your last and trying to hold onto it. My solution has been to have another and then another until you get it out of your system, and now I don't feel bad about it maybe being my last since I am ready to be done....but it took me five to feel that way.

[smokeylo]

My DH is also making me crazy. He has a lot of work-related stress, but still -- how am I sleep-deprived and 11 days pp and sore and dirty able to handle this than him??

I also feel strange about being "done." I don't miss pregnancy at all, but I do feel sad that I won't have another baby, or the big family I used to dream of. But 2 feels right and DH is def. done, and it fits with our life. But it is sad!

I'm bored to death but still scared to take both girls out on my own .

[hakeber]

Originally Posted by smokeylo

My DH is also making me crazy. He has a lot of work-related stress, but still -- how am I sleep-deprived and 11 days pp and sore and dirty able to handle this than him??
...

I'm bored to death but still scared to take both girls out on my own .

Ugh! I have the same issue with my dh. I never let Emily cry at night, I mean, she fusses or grunts and right away I wake up and feed her or change her whatever, so he sleeps through the night just fine, and yet throughout the day he's just too stressed out to deal?

He also tells everyone that she never cries at night and isn't she SUCH a good baby? and I yes, she IS a good baby, but part of why she never cries is because I never let her cry! I wouldn't mind a LITTLE credit for her night time silence.

I asked him to look after the kids for twenty minutes while I took a shower yesterday and I get out of the bathroom and Emily's in her cot crying in a wet diaper, ds is watching TV and where is DH? On the phone in the yard having a CIGARETTE!

I mean, C'MON!

I know it will not hurt her to cry or a few seconds or be in a wet diaper for afew minutes, but that's not the point!

I am super bored as well. DS goes back to school on Monday and I just cannot wrap my head around the fact that I don't have papers to mark, or classes to prepare. I am totally free until MAY and even then I only have two weeks of meetings and coffee breaks until we break up for the summer and I have until mid-AUGUST! I have no idea how I am going to fill this time...I just don't think takign care of the baby takes up that much of my day, as it is she naps or nurses almost all day, and even when she's not napping just sort of hangs out with me...she's so chilled out, which I LOVE, but it leaves me very antsy.

[kdegroo]

hi mamas,

i had my daughter on 12/31, about a week early. it was natural, unmedicated, and vaginal, but felt really traumatic somehow. she was posterior and large, and labor was SLOW, but once hse turned, she ejected (so much so that she was born on the hospital floor and my doula caught her!).

Still at 5+ weeks postpartum, i'm having a hard time bonding. i think this dark, cold time of the year is tough for me in general, and not feeling like i want to leave the house much (she screams in the carseat) doesn't help.

i miss my 3.5 yo daughter so much she is adjusting well, but i just miss our 1 on 1 time. i miss sleep.

my naturopath put me on vit d and rhodiola to help with the blues/dperession. i think it has taken the edge off, but there is none of the bliss and joy i felt with dd1.

hugs to all the other mamas! nursing really does get easier. adn they tell me that sleep does too...

[AfricanQueen99]

Originally Posted by mymary

Any thoughts on those feelings or how to process them? The last child, the last pg, your children growing up?

I wish I knew the answers. Two days out of the hospital I was already seriously thinking about surrogacy just so I could be pregnant again. It's insane since I just can not postpone additional cancer treatment any longer and having another child would do just that.

When we married and did our negotiations for kids I was in the ONLY ONE camp and my husband was in the "I want four" camp...we agreed on two so I guess we are done.

[mymary]

Anybody have any advice on breastfeeding issues...

My baby is 3 1/2 days old today and my milk has not fully come in yet. He started getting really frustrated at latching on. Just rooting around and crying. Not wanting to latch all of a sudden at day 3. After lots of work I can sometimes finally get him to latch but I was panicking last night. He is jaundiced, and has lost a total of 13oz. He was born at 9lbs 8oz. We have been having him monitored closely for the weight and jaundice levels and they are still not considered abnormal according to the peds.

I am just wondering if anybody has had this happen to them and what they did about it, did it resolve when your milk came in ? Is this why they pull off and cry? Believe it or not, I did not have problems with my past two kids. I guess I didn't realize how lucky I was. .....

[Astraia]

mymary, my friend went through this with her daughter. Day 5 and her milk hadn't come in, her daughter was losing weight and dealing with jaundice issues and she was panicking. She spent a day totally relaxing and gave the baby to her husband, took a long bath, listened to music, and pampered herself. Her milk started to come in that day. Then the next day they spent in bed, skin to skin, while her husband brought her food and stuff to drink, and her daughter started latching better and not arching her back and refusing the breast like she had been. This was recommended by the LC she saw.

[NSmomtobe]

Mymary, my milk didn't come in until day 5. On day 4 and 5 he was not latching properly and pulling away after only a few seconds. Then I had to hand express so that DS could latch on because apparently the milk was changing the shape of my nipples.

But by day 10, he was over his birth weight and at 1 month he was 10 lbs (7lbs11oz at birth) so he is growing well now.