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Battling Kindy Propaganda & Media

post #1 of 16
Thread Starter 
We unschool DD (4.5). We have an awesome, flexible schedule and the kid spends all day reading, learning the habits of hundreds of dinosaurs and the formation of the earth, going to gymnastics, etc.

BUT, we are fairly new to town and don't have a huge daytime network. She only has a handful of friends and adores a big group of kids on our street, who all attend a school that is not an option for us. They constantly beg her to go. She begs to go. She insists that other 4 year olds are not, in fact, too young for school. She's right, by local standards. Even in the summer when she plays all evening, she still craves more playtime and imagines that school is one big party, with thousands of fun kids and a phat playground from which she is excluded. She WEEPS when I tell her she won't go next year. Heartbreaking, resolve-breaking weeping. Remember the Princess Bride where they hear the cry of the man who is losing his true love? THAT kind of cry.

None of the "lines" I'm feeding her are getting through. I'm considering enrolling her in the one school in the state next Sept that accepts home/unschoolers 1x a week (and is the only school we like -- democratic style) and driving her 2 hours to get there. I feel a little insane for considering it. Nothing in town even has a 1 or 2 day option. I've actually considered starting a school, but that seems a bit over the top.

Anyway, I desperately need some tips for combatting the media onslaught of "school is fab!" as well as getting this kid the non-stop social interaction she craves in a homeschool environment?


TIA from my party girl
post #2 of 16

But I wanna gooooooooooowww!

Same here...
I am sure to point out when we do super fun things with our home school friends that is was 'school.' We joined a homeschool co op, so once a week she gets a school like environment complete with rowdy crazy, happy little friends. We go to the library twice a week too.
Oh and we walked by the elementary school playground while school was in session. I pointed out that we could not use the playground since school was in session... she seemed a little surprised that the school kids were not ALWAYS playing... like all the time.
post #3 of 16
I'm sure we could come up with a list of movies that counterbalance the flattering portrayal of school? Really if you give it a couple of months or years it will likely go away. I would work on developing your daytime network / schedule rather than putting her in the one place in your state that is most like her version of school but one she can only go to one time a week and where her friends would all be 2 hours away?

I don't favor this, but you could also consider putting her in an aftercare program. That might be most like her version of school. One of my son's friends goes to a private school and they will take outside kids into their aftercare program. Or something like the Y's or the rec center. At the aftercare at the private school, the kids do something like snack, finish homework, and then play on the playground until picked up.
post #4 of 16
I'd say join a homeschool group and call that "school". And talk about how her new school is WAY better than the one the other kids go to, because....(list reasons). I know you unschool, but you could even buy some curriculum, take her "school shopping" for supplies, etc just like all the other kids do before school starts, take a first day of "school" picture, etc.
post #5 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by ktmeyer View Post
I'd say join a homeschool group and call that "school".
That's what we do. Anytime we go to a homeschool group we call it that. "We're going to homeschool group today" and reiterate many times that her friends there do not go to school.
post #6 of 16
If you are worried about media influences presenting school in too positive a light- why not cut out the media?
post #7 of 16
My son was home schooled for a while. But we did do a couple of "classes" with other home schooled kids. Most parents refereed to it as enrichment, we called it school. He had school on Monday's and Thursdays and he loved it. He had church school on Sundays. Anything that was called school he was all over. Is there a kids art class or one of those after school enrichment places near you that she could attend? Library story time maybe?
post #8 of 16
Thread Starter 
Thanks for the suggestions. We do call gymnastics her special gymnastics school and she doesn't buy it.

I'm glad to hear it may go away the more we get involved in a daytime group and perhaps some horrible/realistic portrayals of school (Mathilda?) will help to balance whatever she's thinking. I don't think I can cut the media, mostly because I'm not sure of the source. When she was smaller she did watch some Franklin, but EVERYTHING seems to incorporate unnecessary mention of school, normalizing it. Totally annoying. I mean, even the Magic Treehouse kids are always shlepping home from school for no reason relating to the plot of their adventure at all. /rant.

I'll see if a regular group lessens her despair before I panic.
post #9 of 16
I let my daughter go to kindergarten at the local public school. After two weeks of experience with what school is REALLY like, she was ready to come home.
post #10 of 16
My dd (5yo) went thru this last summer when all the neighborhood Kids would be starting K in ps. I asked her why she wanted to go so badly and it was because she thought she would play with them all day. I sat her down and told her it wasn't going to be play all day they had to sit down at a table and do what the teacher told them and even had to ask to use the bathroom. She also stated she wanted to ride a bus so I told her we would go downtown (which is about 20 minutes to the nearest bus station) and take a bus out for lunch.

She now doesn't even ask to go only to play with them once they come home.

We also do gymnastics and a homeschool swim and gym program at the local YMCA. There is a homeschool co-op near us but I have to watch a little girl on the day they meet.

So maybe it will dissipate if you can find other hs'ed children that she is interested in getting together with once a week or so.
post #11 of 16
I agree that if you let her try school, she might not like it. My son decided he wanted to go to school about 2 weeks before it started his K year, so we enrolled him, but after about a month we decided to pull him out. He homeschooled happily the rest of the year. This year *I* decided to put him in school even though he didn't want to go, and he likes it, but we both are leaning towards homeschooling next year again. I call us "on and off homeschoolers." Then again, my 4yo is in his 2nd yr. of preschool, planning on K in the fall, and has absolutely no interest in ever homeschooling so I guess it depends on the personality.
post #12 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by lynsage View Post
I let my daughter go to kindergarten at the local public school. After two weeks of experience with what school is REALLY like, she was ready to come home.
We did this also.
Of course, you do risk that she will actually love it. So i guess you need to be able to call your own bluff if that happens, although the odds seem against it. I know of a few children who choose school, but certainly not the majority.
post #13 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by nwmamas View Post
Thanks for the suggestions. We do call gymnastics her special gymnastics school and she doesn't buy it.

I'm glad to hear it may go away the more we get involved in a daytime group and perhaps some horrible/realistic portrayals of school (Mathilda?) will help to balance whatever she's thinking. I don't think I can cut the media, mostly because I'm not sure of the source. When she was smaller she did watch some Franklin, but EVERYTHING seems to incorporate unnecessary mention of school, normalizing it. Totally annoying. I mean, even the Magic Treehouse kids are always shlepping home from school for no reason relating to the plot of their adventure at all. /rant.

I'll see if a regular group lessens her despair before I panic.
I agree it is TOUOGH to cut all School Media out. But we have done it, at least by 97%. We have no school books, we do not watch or read Magic Tree House or anything else. We also do not watch shows with school in them (for example we do some times watch Blues Clues -- depends on the show -- but we never watch any of them where Blue goes to School or anything).

ALso how about checkig out the sticky of books about kids who ARE home schooled and reading a ton of them, no commet jsut reading them?

Aimee
post #14 of 16
What about finding a homeschool co-op to join?
post #15 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by bobandjess99 View Post
We did this also.
Of course, you do risk that she will actually love it. So i guess you need to be able to call your own bluff if that happens, although the odds seem against it. I know of a few children who choose school, but certainly not the majority.
We were ready to deal with it if she did want to stay, and went into it with the attitude that she was "starting school". I wanted to homeschool her and DP and his family really seemed to want her to try school, so we let her take a crack at it and as I suspected, it was not the right place for her. If she had loved it and taken to it, I would have let her stay in unless I felt the school environment was actively harmful to her, and then I would have thoroughly explained that to her before pulling her out.
post #16 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by lynsage View Post
I let my daughter go to kindergarten at the local public school. After two weeks of experience with what school is REALLY like, she was ready to come home.
That's pretty much how it worked with our oldest dd. I spent the first half of her K year fighting her about school, she wanted to go to the ps across the street (oh the torture living across the street from the elementary school!) and refused to do any schoolwork at home (I had stuff for her to do at home although I wasn't planning on a ton of formal work every day, just a little here and there when she wasnted to do some work since it was just K) Finally I threw up my hands and gave in when my health started to deteriorate, I didn't have the strength to keep fighting it. After her first day she started begging me to let her homeschool again. We made her stick it out the remainder of the school year before pulling her LOL When her sister started whining over the summer about hsing this fall (they are 12mo apart) dd1 was FAST to tell her the truth of ps and what all is involved that they don't show on tv. DD2 decided that maybe ps isn't such a great idea after all.................... lol Of course, it helps that dd1 has multiple learning challenges and nobody would work with her to try and help her keep up so I had to do it all at home, so she spent 7hrs a day at school then came home for another 1-3 hours of working with mom before supper, baths, and bedtime just to get up and do it all over again the next day LOL

A little time actually in ps cured dd1 of her desire to EVER set foot in a school again, so much that I am fighting with her now because I'm going back to college and there's a chance they may end up back in ps next school year and she alrady said that if I make her go she'll run away so we can't send her. lol Yep, ps totally cured her of the desire to attend ps ever again LOL
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